Do you think marriage ties you down?

I overheard an older woman (40s) say she wish never wish marriage on any one.
She was telling another lady she needs a boyfriend to play with because she is free like a bird.
Marriage only holds you back

I was shocked that she would say this.
Sure , we have all had bad experiences with certain things in life but to completely disagree with something altogether makes me wonder how badly she had it.

Updates:
*I meant I overheard an older woman say she wishes marriage on no one.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some marriages can be bad some are good just depends on if the two were actually meant for each other. Maybe that lady was getting no sex from her husband. When your in a relationship don't give each other a reason to cheat. Marriage is never easy it's very hard to love someone and accept their negative side. Marriage is about being committed and loyal to each other to be loving caring and understanding. A lot of people have really forgotten what love is or what true love is. The problem with some women or men is they are looking for that perfect lover or rather a fantasy. It's not gonna happen because no one is perfect. Always wait for the right guy or woman to come along in your life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My marriage didn't limit me. I didn't WANT to be free to sleep with other men, so there was no cost there. In every other way, I was as free to do what I wanted as a married woman as I was single. Of course, all of my friendships limit my "freedom" to be bitchy and mean to my friends if I want to maintain those friendships, so in the sense that I had to be thoughtful and considerate to my spouse, I suppose you could name that as limiting, but it's not marriage that makes that rule - it's the natural order of things that I have to be good to the people around me if I don't want to be socially isolated.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Marriage is how both persons see things i don't think marriage is necessary
    if i got married i would offer the girl if she wanted to keep her last name
    and i would take hers , Some call it just a piece of paper i don't know
    if marriage really makes a relationship any stronger and i hear in the
    USA that there is no such thing as Common Law Marriage cause
    some woman who's my late mom's friend thought she could collect
    for Social Security on man she lived with as Common Law Marriage
    they told her no such thing now this was about 5 years ago ,

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  • What you get out of a marriage is seriously influenced by what you put into it, and some people aren't big donors. Marriage only holds you back if you don't want to be married.

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  • in my opinion, most people don't know how to get married properly. Some get married for the wrong reasons. Some people think marriage is something that has to be done and that the parties involved should change.
    I don't think that's true, if you liked each other before marriage, then being married should not change that.

    Your 40 year old friends sounds like she wants extramarital affair for some reason.

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    • She's 46 I think. She's a woman that works with me that was speaking loudly. She previously had a marriage

  • I don't think so I see it as a continuation, personally something I can not wait to experience, good and bad and there will be both.

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  • It depends if Iam married somebody with a bright cheery attitude and a since of humour . That is a dream not a trap. However, if I am married to Debbie downer or a cheater, than its a trap.

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  • no. it not only show that you're 110% committed but it allows a man and a woman to love one another unconditionally. these women were simply went for the wrong type f guys for the wrong reasons.

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    • While I agree with most of what you said, I disagree with unconditionally. There are conditions that causes two people to want to date and stuff.
      Conditions like kindness, similar likes and dislikes, etc.

    • are we talking about dating others?

  • Well, society rests on the idea that we follow certain rules and patterns of behavior. Otherwise it's chaos. Things that tie you down can be very useful.

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  • Only when day dreaming.

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  • Marriage itself dose nothing if you don't respect it.

    Ties you down or not, is more a matter of how your relationship works, rather than a matter of marriage license.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Well, shit! LOL She said she would never wish marriage on anyone? That's hilarious in a really awful way.

    Although I've never been married, just based on observing and briefly dissecting truths in the marriages of others, I can easily see where she's coming from! This is why I do not want to get married before the age of 30. I aim to be a globe trotting, adventure seeking, husbandless/childless life loving woman and I do not want a proposal before I have gotten the absolute most out of my 20's. You also gotta keep in mind that some peple just choose the wrong person to spend the rest of their lives with. Maybe they jumped into the marriage or didn't know that person as well as they should have. So now that their true colors are finally coming out, they've already legally agreed to share everything they own with them and build their lives around them. :/ Disaster.

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  • Sounds like someone who either married the wrong person or just isn't fit for monogamy. Yes, marriage does tie you down because you're part of unit. You're supposed to keep your spouse in mind with all major decisions and remain faithful to them. However, that shouldn't be a bad thing. As long as things stay the same between me and my fiance after we get married then I have no problem at all being tied down with him. We have a great relationship and he's always very supportive. I've always been one to prefer having a special bond with one person rather than having freedom to pursue shallow relationships. It's my choice to give up that freedom.

    As far as being nice goes, I don't see that as something that you have to give up. You should always try to be nice to people, regardless of your relationship with them. I don't think you should act bitchy toward people anyway so that's not something I've ever felt I had to give up because it's something I don't do to begin with. The only exception is with people who don't treat you with respect. It still wouldn't be in my nature to be mean to them but I wouldn't be particularly nice with them either. I'd just try to avoid them when I can and maintain a neutral attitude with them if I have to interact with them.

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  • eh, whether it does or doesn't, it's not something I'm afraid of.
    i can't wait to get hitched :P

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  • Maybe she meant it as a way in which, you get married, you limit yourself to certain things. I don't think marriage can hold you back (unless you are into that polygamy stuff, which would make me wonder why people get married in the first place if they like doing such things) but maybe she hasn't got free time to do things or it's just very routinely for her. Maybe she just wants some excitement and adventure in her life. I think a lot of people view getting married differently though.

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  • I think marriage as an idea is amazing.. spending the rest of your life with the one who understands you and you love each other.. sharing your life with someone who knows you well and sharing your laughter, tears, trips, ... Marriage is not rainbows and butterflies though.. if you don't take your time and choose carefully you will find marriage appalling.. you have to think of upcoming responsibilities together think how you two would be 20 years down the road when love might "just might" fade would you still be able to respect and cherish this person?

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  • Marriage is what you make it. Mine is playful and lighthearted, yet romanic and fiercely loyal. We are each other's best friend and we're incredibly happy together.

    I could see it being a trap if you wind up marrying someone who will become incompatible with you for one reason or another, but I don't think that happens very often if you're smart about your relationships.

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  • That woman surely had a bad marriage or else no satisfied woman would say that even after a 100 years ;) and yes we can be married and happy when everyone is doing their duties and caring about the other side and loving them ^_^ even if it wasn't a love based marriage they will be fine.

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  • Nope.

    You can still enjoy life when you are married.

    I don't get why she would say that.

    You can still be young and free with your husband.

    Unless she means sleeping around?

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    • She was saying she was married before and would wish that on no one.

    • Show All
    • Yea I get that. I've had experience bad things as well. But why disregard it has a whole? She made it seem very bad altogether

    • I think she is still severely hurt.

      But yeah, the strong dislike towards marriage was not necessary. :)

  • Yes. There really are no guarantees that the one you're in a relationship with now will always be right for you or attractive to you. Many people get different desires as they age and they may not be your partner's desires. Marriage just makes it more difficult to seek your happiness elsewhere if you need to. It has benefits, but not enough in my opinion to cover for its drawbacks should you and your partner grow apart.

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  • It depends on your significant other. If you both feel comfy with one another and are open, there has nothing to be there 'holding you down/tied up'.

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  • FInd a man who is into an open marriage.

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  • nope. love it.

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  • I was first married at 19 and not at all! I think I live MORE of a life since I was married.

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