I accidentally gave my wife two black eyes and now everyone thinks im beating her including the cops despite my wife's and mydenials. Any advice?

Updates:
To clear it up our two year old son hit her across the face with the poker on the bridge of the nose. It didn't break het nose but her eyes and nose are bruised and swollen.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I read this in your response to Zendrya:
    "Our 2 year old son hit her a whack with the poker on the bridge of the nose."

    If this is the case then why did you pose your question saying *you* gave your wife two black eyes. You clearly didn't if your child smacked her in the face. You should have said, "Our child smacked her in the face and now everyone thinks I did it."

    People with kids get bruised and banged up all the time from their kids, or just simply running after them and smacking in to things to save them from being hurt. It happens. I remember my ex's kid hitting his mom in the face with a closed fist when he was two. Think that didn't leave a mark?

    If she's got bruises from being a parent, people usually just get the story and understand it happens and usually if the person is quite confident about their story it's even more believable. It's the ones who go around wearing sunglasses and not wanting to talk about it, who have bruises on their face all the time that get people wondering what's going on at home.

    So she got hit in the face by the kid, she's explained herself, and that's that. Unless she presses charges or there were witnesses to say differently, then it's called parenting and accidents happen.

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    • Our son has developed a habit of lifting things and wacking them. Normally the poker is put away from little hands but I left it out while I was doing something else. It was my fault I should have known better.

    • Well you sound guilty as hell, which is prob why no one believes u.

Most Helpful Guy

  • What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.

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What Girls Said 9

  • How the hell do you accidentally give your wife two black eyes?

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  • Oh my. Did you punch her in the sleep or something?
    Tell me so I can see of your story is believable? :)

    And I guess she should stay home till the wound/bruise heals or fades.

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  • 100% coherent

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  • mmmm sure buddy... it was an "accident."

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    • Thats what everbody is sayt.

    • Thats what everbody is saying

  • If your son gave her the black eyes, then why did you state in the title it was YOU who gave her them? Interesting change of story there...

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  • How does one do that by accident?

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    • Our 2 year old son hit her a whack with the poker on the bridge of the nose.

    • 1 - Why would you say that you accidentally did it instead of saying it was your 2 year old son?

      2 - "hit her a whack with the poker" Dafuq why would you phrase it like that?

  • So how did it change from you doing it to your son?

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  • Can her son talk? Maybe he could convince the police.

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  • What the fuck happened, first of all?

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What Guys Said 11

  • Right... and i'm accidentally using GaG

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  • How the heck do you accidentally give someone two black eyes without hitting them? OK, so I'm sure it can happen, but what's your story? Nobody will be able to give an answer to this without knowing. They are going to be just as skeptical as the cops.

    By the way, I gave myself a huge black eye once, so I know weird things can happen.

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  • So you accidentally gave your wife a black eye - your son then followed it up with a poker to her face?

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  • Well, it doesn't help that you say you accidentally did it, and then you said your it was your son.

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  • And now for the rest of the story.

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  • Yeah one of my favorite superheroes gave his wife just ONE black eye years ago and people are still bitching about that.

    http://i.imgur.com/P4AN77M.png

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  • How does one "accidentally" give a person two black eyes?

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  • well, good luck with that. I don't think they can arrest you unless your wife presses charges.

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  • I'm accidentally breathing air.

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  • How does that happen?

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  • What happened? She accidentally walk into your fist after leaving the kitchen without bringing you a goddamn sandwich?

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