Girls, would you stay in a permanent relationship with a guy who didn't want to get (officially) married?

I'm starting to give up on the idea of marriage. As a man, its too risky. Its too easy for a woman to take everything i have. But at the same time i want the love of my life. I want a permanent, monogomous, committed relationship... without legal marriage. We could even have an unnoficial wedding. We could get wedding rings. The only difference is that we won't sign any legal documents confirming that we are official spouses. We could still be husband and wife, just with no legal documents.

Would any of you be open to this idea?

  • I would
    36% (10)
  • I wouldn't
    54% (15)
  • Other
    10% (3)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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14

Most Helpful Girl

  • The kind of man I want would never in his right mind agree to marriage terms under feminist law. Feminism is slowly infiltrating my country too and I'm sure we're almost the same as the West. That's why I would never expect, or ask him to marry me lawfully if I found the terms unfair. Maybe where I live with some decent pre-nup, but only if he wanted it himself. In the West, I don't think a pre-nup is of any worth, so...

    I'd want commitment before our community, maybe a small party to announce it somehow, built life together, I'd want rings to show we're married and I'd want my children lawfully his. But I would feel like I'm insulting my man if I asked him to sign a contract that enables me to fuck him in the ass if I wanted to.

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    • Wow, i really like your answer. This made me feel a lot better about my decision. I hope their are other women like you.

    • There really aren't that many.
      1% of them think like me alone. Maybe 15% you can convert.

    • But just because they don't think like me and maybe never will think like this, they may agree to the terms anyway. I'm sure such girls are even more numerous.

What Girls Said 13

  • I suppose, but there are still important benefits like life insurance and immigration rights and especially if you have kids.
    I would be willing to sign a contract saying we can't take each others money or something like that, but honestly I don't want to go into a relationship assuming it'd fail and the love of my life would steal my money

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  • Sure, I would, but I probably wouldn't be too happy about it.

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    • Why is that?

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    • Even prenups won't make a difference. Entire prenups can get disregarded in court so that the woman can benefit from the divorce

    • That doesn't usually happen, and in a lot of cases men benefit from divorce too.

  • living without a status is like...

    the reason why people start riots in sri lanka is because discrimination, and the idians (i think) do not have a status in sri lanka, it's like they don't belong anywhere. same goes to rs XD

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  • Bro get a prenup. I'm getting one because I'm independently wealthy. Protect yo shit.

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  • As long as I get to wear a wedding dress I'm fine with that. I don't want to go through all that paperwork and divorces are hella expensive so it's not worth it. But I still would want to have a wedding.

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  • No, it's a pretty good sign he doesn't trust me and honestly I don't want to be in a relationship where there is such a strong lack of trust and respect for the other person.

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  • I think you're paranoid. But of course I can understand you because today's reality of at least US marriages don't look too promising. It's all about the right girl tho. Why not just getting a prenup?

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    • I know its about finding the right girl... but who's to say that i didn't choose the wrong girl. I can THINK she is the right girl, but that can change pretty quickly.

      And also, prenups don't mean shit when you are getting divorced... at least if you are a man that is. Women can take everything you have with little effort. That's just how oppressed us men are in this situation. If i got married and divorced, I'd be an empty, hollow, shell, with nothing left to live for - and that's my worst fear.

      All of my childhood dreams of marriage and a happy relationship have been shattered because of the imbalance between men and women in the court room. I just don't know what to do anymore besides avoiding marriage :(

    • I am 23 and I got married 3 days ago actually. I never even bothered to marry but I met him and yeah it was perfect. He was worried a little bit too about prenups and stuff but since I personally don't believe that marriage is a business deal, we didn't do one. All I can say is, not every women is a greedy bitch. To me I don't believe in divorce that's why the only way I would divorce is cheating. In that case yes, I'd rip him apart because he ruined our life.
      Other than that I'd never take a dime even if he wants a divorce out of whatever reason. I just wouldn't. But yeah its pretty much about having the same views on marriage together and know each other better than yourself. I lived with my spouse together for almost 2 years before we married. That helps a lot.

  • That's exactly what I want. I don't see the point in marriage and would just prefer a committed relationship outside of it.

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    • Exactly. I mean, its still a marriage! The only difference is that you don't sign legal documents.

      I don't understand why so many people are against it.

    • I don't either. For awhile now I've viewed marriage as really just a formality that isn't necessary. I guess for a lot of people it's a religious thing, the whole "becoming one before God" thing, but I'm agnostic. I did a survey on this site about most people's views on marriage, as in if they do or do not want to get married, if they believe in it, and would they compromise on their views for the right person. But, the large majority of people strictly wanted to get married, no compromising. I guess I'll just have to add not wanting to get married to my already large pile of baggage.

  • My parents never got married, so it wouldn't seem like such a big deal to me

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  • That's exactly what I want to do, so yes

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  • never ever

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  • I highly doubt you're one of the guys who need to fear about having all their money taken, but even if that is a fear, there is such a things as a prenup. Duh

    No I wouldn't remain with a guy who doesn't want to be married. This would conflict with my religious beliefs.

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    • It conflicts with my religious beliefs too, but i don't know what else to do.

    • If you're true to your religion, you will abide by the rules.

      Here's 5 tips to insure your prenup is valid:
      www.forbes.com/.../

    • So they aren't allowed to disregard a prenup if none of those things are in it?

  • Does this mean no kids too? I'm undecided about kids still but this doesn't mean I can decide I would want at least 1 eventually.

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    • If on top of being in a permanent relationship, he definitely never wants kids also... I'm not sure if I would be able to handle that. I now think differently than when I was 20 years old.

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    • Yeah... i want to travel too. I wanna live my life. If i do have A kid, then I'm waiting until I'm content with what i did in life. And that may not be until my 30s.

    • yeah I can't wait the long. I would be cool if I were back in my early 20's. I no longer have that advantage of having fun in life without considering the near future.

      Take your time but not too long. Though guys can have a kid anytime, I don't know anyone in my family that would be happy about waiting till their mid 30's or early 40's to be a father. I have a male childhood friend that one time seemed worried about being single for a long while and how he wished to be a father before his mid 30's.

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