we are both in our 50s i am divorced but he is single, after 5 years i thought it was time we talked of getting married so i asked him although he has always said he didn't think you needed to marry if you loved each other he said he would consider it one day, that was in march and he's said nothing since, we live together and are happy but i think that if you want to be with that person for ever then marriage should be a part of it, did he say he'd think about it to please me or did he mean it, i know its not the end of the world if we stay as we are but but should i comprimise how i feel or is that what im asking him to do.
Most Helpful Guy
no he will never marry you.0
Most Helpful Girl
If he's never been married before it could be a conscious choice he's made to stay that way. Some people feel it says more to stay with someone out of want and love than it is to get married. Did he come from a broken family? If so his ideas about marriage could all have negative associations making him less likely to take the plunge himself.
With divorce rates so high these days many people feel they could lose too much getting married. So they avoid it. They say that after a person is in their mid twenties they know after two years of dating someone whether they want to marry them or not. But it doesn't mean that the people will get engaged in that time frame etc. When you asked him about marriage was he open to discussion or did he just shut the conversation down with an "I'll think about it?" If he did it was likely to avoid the topic indicating he probably won't want to get married.
Since the conversation was so long ago maybe bring up the topic again and pay closer attention to his reaction. His body language, willingness to talk, and facial expression could tell you a lot of what you could have missed before. Let him know how important it is to you without pressuring him to follow suit. If you are content without getting married and it's just something you'd like to do that isn't a deal breaker let him know. If not getting married truly is a deal breaker for you then maybe this isn't the right guy for you.0