Opinions on getting married early?

I got married when I was 18. I'm turning 19 in a 2 weeks. My husband is 23 years old. I still get questions on why I got married early and it's because I love him, I was with him for 4 years, I lived with him for 2 years and everything was j ust perfect. We were practically married except for the no sex rule we had made. Some people believe we got married because I got pregnant (not true because I got pregnant about a month after the wedding) and some think I'm mental.
What are your opinions on getting married early?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It used to be very common to get married at that age. There is nothing wrong with it. One reason the age of marriage is increasing is because it's become a lot more common to delay marriage to get more education, get better jobs, etc. There is nothing saying that everyone has to go that route.

    You are already married. In many ways you are way ahead in your life compared to people who delay it. Marriage, having kids, being on your own and responsible for you own life cause you to mature and grow rapidly. By the time you are 25 you'll have a lot of life experiences that many people don't get until they are 30 or 35.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I got married when I was 21 been dating a couple years before. We are still married 20+ years later. Out of all my friends me and my husband are the only ones still married to the original partner. My parents have been married since 1955. My husbands parents have been married since 1949. It's easy to get married, staying married is a different challenge. We were lucky enough to be able to work with or around each other most of our careers. He is in law enforcement and I was a corner then med student then mortician now funeral home owner. So when he would go on a job , I didn't mind I had my own thing to do. But 2 thing we do that I have never seen any other couples do.1 we do not share bank accounts. We have never fought over money. His is his mine is mine. The bills are our to share. 2nd we have separate bedrooms. We have no children so sex is doable anytime, anywhere. He can go to bed and fart and snore I don't care, I have my own room where I can read and starfish out all over the bed. And I'm on call 24/7 if I have to go get a body at 2:00 in morning from hospital not going wake him. And it's very nice to have separate rooms to sleep in when you're super pissed off at each other.

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    • Having two separate bedroom is a good idea. What we want to do once we're able to afford a bigger house is have a room we share and separate 'study' rooms so that we are able to have our own space. Right now we live in a 3 room house and one is completely for our baby so we're unable to do it.
      Congratulations on your successful marriage and I hope you and your husband enjoy the rest of your lives ^^

What Guys Said 13

  • Most young people do not do what you did. I thoroughly believe people need to know the person they are going marry 100%, not 85%. In order to know them as close to 100% as possible you need to date for a few years, not months, and live together for at least year. So you at least knew him for a while and lived together. That is great. I don't believe in no sex because that prevents you from knowing each other 100%, but that is up to you. I also believe that love doesn't pay the bills and getting done school, and starting a career and becoming established in life should take priority over marriage. But sounds like you are on the right path at least.

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    • We didn't have sex because I didn't feel like I was ready and when I finally thought I was, it was almost our wedding day.
      We both work on top of school, and we're both on scholarships so school fees is no problem. On top of that I got scouted into a law firm (studying law right now) and he got a paid internship in an insurance company so I think we're on the right path.

    • Sounds like you two have a bright future together. I wish you all the best!!!

  • my opinion on getting married early? if its viable then i don't give a fuck. if it is NOT viable then both people are fucking wasted lol.

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  • I think early marriage is a lot more ideal than later marriage.

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  • Getting married in my dictionary is marrying like when you are 17 or 18, i think 13 its something new i heard now.

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    • I did get married when I was 18.
      I think you misunderstood something there.

    • Oops yeah i misunderstood, 18 is good age to get married (if the 2 people are ready. for it), dont listen to other people i am sure they will try to put you down, after all it's your life, your decisions, just enjoy the life.

  • Well yup that too early for marriage but who cares? If you are happy then I would say... Live your life!! And enjoy 😊

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  • It's a waste of life. You will grow to resent your husband over time. Just wait.

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    • How is it a waste of life may I ask?

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    • Lol that's completely untrue. Rather, you are biologically built to seek out a better man over time. You will inadvertently cause nearly all of his masculinity to run down the drain, and eventually you'll seek out a more masculine man.

    • @666threesixes666
      First of all, I have not been "bought".
      Also, I'm not a housewife. I go to university and have a stable income much like him.
      I was scouted into the company I work for so I think I'm ascending socially.

  • Silly idea in my opinion, if it works our then awesome! Just remember.. marriage is the number one cause of divorce worldwide.

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  • in time you both will get bored, start an affair, get divorced, get a kid and he'll be stuck paying child support.

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    • We already have a child.
      Also, I love how you say that in such a manner.
      Do all early marriages end up in having affairs and divorce? Many older people have affairs and get divorced. It applies to everyone. But do you go to two people who married in their 30s and say "You will both get bored, start an affair, get divorced, get a kid and he'll be stuck paying child support"?
      I asked for opinions, not for someone to state what they believe my future with my husband will be.
      Thank you for your tactless input. :)

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    • Rather, you should look to research on your grammar skills as it is evident that it needs more work.
      Let's pretend that statistics said that 99% of marriages before the age of 25 will end up in divorce. There is still the 1% that doesn't. It's called having faith. With love anything can be conquered. Judging from your answers you have never experienced it before. Even if they say that 99% percent fail we strive to achieve the 1% and statistics and research can never show that.

    • I see I offended your weak ass, so you have to play the old fashion grammar card.

      Seen it so many times and still I don't care...

  • Fuck that for a bag of chips

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  • Not a part of my plan , at all.

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  • Wow! That's pretty amazing! Congratulations! It must have been VERY tough being together that long with no sex though, huh? So in that month after you got married you two must've just gone CRAZY having sex, huh? No wonder you got pregnant so fast! lol!

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    • Her getting pregnant fast is nothing to do with how crazy sex is lmao it can be achieved through any speed 😂

    • True, but I'm guessing given how long the dam was holding back the river, once it was released it was a torrent! lol!

  • in my opinion you should have a good degree, a stable job , an income and some savings when you marry.
    My wife and I married at 25. Never regretted it. I only had some $10K savings, not really much. My wife had more. We both had the degree, the job and the income.
    We had our son at 30.
    My mom married at 22 , had two kids by age 27. She was clearly to immature to assume that. She had a degree but no job, no income, my dad had a degree and a job under his degree. No savings. The example of what NOT to do thus.

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    • I'm studying law and have been scouted into a law firm. He was a manager for a small company but recently got accepted into a paid internship for an insurance company so he's going to quit his job. We both have a stable income at the moment. We're both on scholarships which gives us spending allowance each semester, and we have some money we saved up while living together for 2 years.
      When we got married we had around $350000 but most of it went towards our wedding. Now we have much more since we both have better jobs and school fees isn't a problem for me now. Plus, we put majority of our spending allowance in our savings. We don't even get anything from the government.

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    • The problem?
      People criticise me, not him only me, because I got married at 18 and had my first child at 18.
      Also being a parent is the easy part - I raised my cousin since she was 3 until she moved to England with my parents because her parents passed away in a car crash.

    • For most people getting married that young would be a huge red flag.
      You seem to have proven your maturity. :)

  • My great grandfather got married to my 9 year old great grandmother when he was only 13.
    It worked for them!

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  • not going to criticize your choice.

    I'm just going to point out that in general, the younger the age of marriage, the higher the rate of divorce.

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    • That is true. But higher rates doesn't mean everyone has a divorce. Even if 99% of early marriages end up in divorce there is still that small 1% and that's what can keep a boat afloat.
      Thanks for not criticising. :) That alone means a lot.

What Girls Said 27

  • People formulate opinions based on their observations and well known stereotypes.
    The stereotype is when someone gets married too young, it ends in divorce eventually.

    Why?
    Because this person didn't explore other options, they settled down with one of the first people that gave them the attention/affection their heart desire.

    I think you should do what's right according to you.
    Chances are you can defy all odds and show how strong your love for each other is.

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  • I personally do not think that I would/ should get married at my age (19). I think I am far to young and I know marriage and a family is not what I want at the moment but only in a bout 10 years time. That being said I think that every person is completely different and they have different goals than me (wanting a family and the married life) so i do not think that being married young is a problem. If you know it is really what you want and you do not have other goals you want to first achieve or can not se yourself doing something else then i do not think you have made a wrong choice:)

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  • i don't think that there is a "right age" to get married.. people are free to get married when they want to and no one has the right to judge

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    • Tell that to cinderelli and Takada...
      It's people like them that make me feel like I've grown a second head. Nothing we did was that drastic. All we did was get married.

    • Ao they can marry at 10yrs old? Thats too naive for kids to marry that early on cuz they will surely find sumone new

  • If you meet the right person early, it's wonderful. Good for you and good luck in your life together. :) <3

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  • I hear a lot of people talking a lot of Bull s***! Shut up its her life and I can relate to it and better yet I will tell you my story. I met my boyfriend at 16 & a half almost hitting 17 years old. I got married at 20 years old. Like 3 months later I got pregnant with my first daughter. He is 3 years older then me. I am 28 years old now. We have been together for 11 years but married only 8 years. We have a 7 year old daughter and a almost 4 year old in December. It will work if you want it to and if your still in love. People are always going to talk and judge. Some people ask why did I get married so young? It was the best choice I ever made. Now in days there are guys that just want to play games. Congrats on your marriage and baby!

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  • To be honest, I'm early married too well we didn't have a ceremony and our marriage isn't made very public but I got engaged at 16 (something like a unwritten marriage contract, in my religion if there's at least 5 witnesses it's considered a marriage) and truth be told I'm enjoying it, I don't have to get the extra tension of girls trying to flirt with him or that he would break up with me, it's all going well, it's very romantic too
    If you know what I mean 😉 and you're older than me too 😊

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    • I understand all you said and I enjoy them everyday too. I wish people like cinderelli and Takada (below) would understand. They're missing out on certain things.
      Congratulations on your marriage :) I hope you two stay happy forever.

    • Thankyou, congrats you too I hope you two stay being love birds forever 😊

    • To be honest it kind of reminds of a anime I watched when I was young, I think it was called Clannad it was sweet and romantic but also quite sad

  • Awww congrats! I always think thay there isn't a right age for marriage, so long as the two of them are financially stable and is willing to take up the responsibility, then I don't see why not?

    It's amazing that you got married this young (the fact that we're only two years apart dayum!) and have a kid already. I mean, imagine in few years time you can bring your kid out and people might assume you both are siblings. Isn't that cool? My friend's mum is only 19 years apart and they're literally like sisters. Ahah I've always wanted to marry early, like before 25..

    p/s: we're living on the opposite sides of the country ahah

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  • I think it’s a good idea to get married young. A common buzzword nowadays is “work-life-balance.” You know, managing a career, parenthood and even taking care of your own parents simultaneously. Making work-life-balance a reality seems much more feasible at a younger age.

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    • Work-life-balance works for us right. And I agree that it's more feasible at a younger age... or that could be because I'm still young.

  • I think it's different in your case. Most of the time I disagree with young marriages because they rush into things. They date for a year or less and then they get married. You were together for four years and you lived together for two. So I think you two knew what you were getting into when you decided.

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  • I think that as long as you two love each other and are in a stable relationship where you two can financially and mentally support each other well, then getting married early is totally fine! Congratulations to you and your husband! I wish you two a lifetime of happiness. :)

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  • Fuck people! They won't like it if you're married or not actually they will never like anything! I'm married too and people still got shocked when they know that and keep asking the same questions over and over again but I learned to ignore everyone and live my life like what I want because it's none of their business after all.

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    • That is true. If you're not married in your late 30s, you're asked why you're not. If you get married early, they ask why you are.
      Congratulations on your marriage. :)

    • Thank you 😊 and congrats on yours too <3

  • i am not at all in favor of getting married early.. that's just plain stupid thing to do.. people change a lot.. and teenage years are just full of dumb emotions.. and stuff.. we cannot think clearly.. you should have graduated.. find a job.. then get married.. and then spend time together.. and then think about baby.. you have no goal in life.. and you haven't achieved anything.. you will regret this decision soon..

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    • Actually, I graduated high school and I'm in my first year of university studying law. Oh, and we're both on a high achievers scholarship. I have a job at a law firm as a receptionist but I got scouted for my high marks so I'll be working my way up as I progress through university. He had a job as a manager but is going to quit it because he just got accepted into a paid internship at a big insurance company in Sydney.
      I think we've achieved most of what you said.
      I do have a goal in life.
      I don't think I'll regret it soon but thank you for your tactless input. :)

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    • I didn't really have a reason to put so much information in the question.
      It could be seen as rambling to some people.
      And I got pregnant because I wanted to. I love children and later when we are able to handle it I want to have a big family, but for now we're only able to raise one. Isn't that why people have children? Because they love spending time with little ones. It's funny how people who are maybe 10 years older than I am who achieved less overall are not criticised for getting pregnant but I am judged because I did when I was 18.

    • well after all it is your life... not mine.. . i wish you have a healthy baby and stay happy :)

  • That's a sweet story an congratulations on being fortunate to meet the one straight away. Wish I was that lucky 😖

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  • It's not common that marriage of any age is successful like yours. I think if you got a stable lifestyle its ok, but not everyone has the luxury to spend a big wedding. Congrats with the baby and best of luck! :)

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    • We had a very small wedding. I think we invited 30 people or so in total because none of our family is here.
      Thank you :)

  • If you are ready for marriage then its a good time to get married but it may be harder for young couples since they usually have less money then older couples but everybody is different.

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    • We had enough when we got married, and we still have a lot because previously we both worked two/three jobs at a time so we can have more in our savings.

  • It is a bit early comparing it with the ages that people get married now, but I really don't see any problem with it ! If u guys love each other and were great together all the time u weren't married then u did a good job.. I mean why marry later on, if u guys have been years together already and everything was perfect ! Congrats and I hope u guys stay happy together forever 😊 and don't listen to people that say u r mental lol yesterday I saw I girl on TV that got married at 17 so yep...

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  • my cousin got married at 20 and she's been really happy. if you know for a fact that that person is the one for you it should be ok. Everyone is different and not everyone wants to get married at 28. If you evaluate and know its the right decision then why not?

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  • If that's what best for you.. go for it!
    My best friends grandparents were married for 72 years, he was 17 and she was 18 when they got married!
    He still loves her deeply, sadly she died 2 years ago. :(
    I'm 18, I want to marry my boyfriend when I turn 22, but wait till I finish my medical degree before having kids!!!
    I have a no sex rule too! :*

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  • It's stupid. People change a lot in their 20's. You can start having different desires and grow apart very quickly. Early marriages almost never work out. Plus, you're having a kid? Is it really necessary for you to get pregnant if you're still a kid yourself? This idealized version of married life with kids will soon shatter and you will make the same mistakes countless people have made before.

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    • Actually, I already have a child. A healthy 13 months baby girl.
      I never had an "idealised" version of a married life with kids, thank you for assuming things.
      We haven't grown apart for 5 years... It's not going to happen anytime soon I believe.
      We have a mutual goal in life, we have different ones too.

  • Some people find the ones they truly love young. It's fine. You have the commitment and drive... That's what matters.

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    • Thank you. :) It's nice knowing that somewhere there are people who respect our decisions no matter how ridiculous it may sound to them.

  • I'm 20 next month, but got engaged not too long ago.
    Same reason, we've just been together.
    We aren't waiting for sex, I'm not pregnant.. We just want to.

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    • I turn 19 next month. We waited for sex because we first met when I was 16 and I thought myself mentally unprepared for everything.
      You understand what I mean right? It just feels right together.

    • By the way, congratulations on your engagement. :)

    • Well that's different, and certainly it worked for you guys:)
      I got with him when we were 17.
      I definitely get the overwhelming feeling, especially once they propose. It's kinda scary. I sure wasn't expecting it yet.. But its awesome:) you say yes because you want to, not because of any other surprise circumstances.

  • I think, "A young couple getting married? suckaaaaaaaaas"

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  • I think there is no right or wrong age... its your life and if you two love each other and are good to each other by all means if getting married makes you two happy then that is great news:)

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  • so when you were 14 he was 18?

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  • awwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhh thats so sweet ^_^

    i think 18 might be a bit too early... like 20s i think is just perfect or maybe 30s
    and i really dont see anything wrong with it if people do it right

    you can carry on with your life same way you would when you were single except you would have a supporter and a lover
    OR
    you can do the stereotypical modern marriage... lots of fights and problems and not sticking through thick and thin... etc

    you are good girl... good luck !

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  • What I heard is that people that young are naive, inexperienced, don't know themselfes and are going to change a lot in this age and I personally think it's unlikely to find the right long-term partner this age.

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  • Age has nothing to do with maturity. I've seen some young men who have their shit together and are wise & respectful and I have seen old fools who think it's ok to be a player and they want to settle down at 50. Some men do marry a woman because she's pregnant

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    • As long as the woman and the man have a stable job then I think it's ok as long as both partners help each other not just one partner depending on one

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    • My mom got married at 19 my mom and dad were together for 20 years. Now they both are in long term relationships with other people

    • There is no need to get defensive you are already married. No one is trying to break you up on here

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