"According to Pew Research Center, the share of women ages eighteen to thirty-four that say having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose nine percentage points since 1997--from 28 percent to 37%. For men, the opposite occurred. The share voicing this opinion dropped, from 35 percent to 29 percent." Why?
I'm curious why people tink this is true as it is a fascinating subject and does really provide a fascinating discussion about the realtions between both genders in modern day Western countries (I'm assuming the rest of the English speaking West (Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia etc.) is in a similar position).
What will be the side effects of this?
Will this trend continue?
Why do you think this is happening?
- Men are increasingly averse to committment and want to sleep around, while women want to settle down more.Vote A
- OtherVote B
- Men are slackers and don't want to work on a relationship while women do.Vote C
- Men are tired of being blamed for everything and avoid relationships.Vote D
- Marriage, family and divorce law favours women so men effectivey punished for marying while women are rewarded.Vote E
- Marriage is more about benefitting the woman so the statistics reflects that.Vote F
- Men these days are more focused on their career and care less about family while women want it all.Vote G
Most Helpful Girl
Guys who are aged between their teens to their 20s were raised by my generation who have chosen to get married based on flippant, weak reasons that were based on nothing short of lust. My generation married for the wrong reasons and quickly learned that good marriages were not based on physical attraction and good sex. So what did [we] do? We ended up staying in these poor marriages for approximately 10 or so years because the generation before us [our parents] stayed married through thick and thin and rarely divorced. So long as not to disappoint our parents, my generation tried holding on to their weak marriages to try and show their parents that they tried.
Meanwhile, the marriage that lasted about that long created difficulties. Marriages produced children who lived to an age to see and understand terrific damage was being done through the courts. These kids (the generation of kids *my* generation is raising) became quite bitter watching how dad got roasted in court and mom became less attentive in the house because now she was trying to work AND look for another possible mate - something the kids resented, but with lonely mom in the picture also needing her *ahem* personal needs met and hoped to find a guy to complete the family nucleus, both mom and dad's divorce made guys bitter about marriage. Girls however, still dreamed of hope.
So here we are with my generation scratching their heads saying in their own way, "Look I need to be happy to you know" whether it's the man or woman, the child is then despondent, and grows in to a resentful person when it comes to marriage and just toward women in general. The mothers took their fathers for everything and made no apology for it, while getting right back on the saddle and tried to date again, thinking it would make the kids happy to have a new man in the house. No one wins.
Had my generation just used their heads and not married the first person to come along who they found goodlooking but had not a whole lot else in common to make it a true, loving, lasting marriage, and had they NOT sat there in their unhappy marriages thinking holding on will make things better or stayed for the kids, then the courts wouldn't have recognized that there was MORE to be doled out by the dads and more commitment toward the kids for child support (depends on where you live), then maybe a lot of you guys would have been born in happier, stable homes where marriages actually worked and lasted to improve your outlook.6
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Most Helpful Guy
I didn't vote, because all of the above are factors.
The biggest change, though, is that marriage used to provide men some pretty big benefits that most men couldn't get any other way, and the same for women. But since the late 1960s and especially since the 80s, women can get most of the benefits of marriage without being married (and STAYING married), and so can men. The difference, then, are the remaining benefits that still require marriage, and the priorities men and women put on them.
Men are defined by their careers and the money/status/security that brings, while women are defined by their relationships, and so these things are usually the top priority for each sex. Looking at this, it should be very easy to see why modern marriage is far less attractive to men than women - for women, they're still getting the "top level relationship" that is the defining part of their life, but men aren't getting anything they value nearly as highly that they can't get elsewhere (even from the same person without being married).
And the penalties for men when it comes to divorce are MUCH higher than for women, generally,
Finally, the ease that you can get a divorce today means that few people take marriage seriously in the first place - many accept that making a poor choice simply means the "inconvenience" of a divorce - so they don't take the process seriously, and often get married on a whim to someone they barely know, or worse, get married to someone they already know they don't have long-term compatibility with.
Marriage became important because for thousands of years, a families wealth, titles, and holdings could only be passed down to a LEGITIMATE heir - meaning a child born of wedlock. Children fathered outside of a marriage were BASTARDS and could not inherit. These rules meant that marriages were taken seriously, as they would have a tremendous impact on your life - and divorce was virtually impossible.
But we've made divorce easy and, in most countries, have legally removed the concept of bastardy and legitimacy, and thus have greatly devalued marriage itself.12
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