Girls, Is commitment and marriage still attractive to you these days?

Girls, Im 28 and 5"7 tall, athlete body, i have a reasonable income (really happy ), i might need 5 years to finish my college (late started ). I decided to get my life to another level and get married, which made my girlfriend to leave. Unfortunately when you start to talk about this, people start to run away from you !!!
Qoustion: would you girls Concder getting married having kids and so, is necessary? Or enjoying life with no commitments to anything around is a better option?

Updates:
Its good to hear this (Cookies andmilk) traditional way is the one.
I can see my sis and brothers families and i can till you this ( they can't live without there partners anymore).
Staying home taking care of the family will simply make you the base of your kids, and a princess to your husband.
Well, thanks to all of you by sharing your wonderful thoughts, where it made me feel positive again.
As far it is successful discussion i would like to continue about commitment.
Question: would age matters? And whats the best age difference?
Example: male +3... Etc

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48

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say traditional values are no longer the norm, when it comes to me the exact opposite is true. I love my boyfriend so very much and I look forward to our future together. If we were to be married I'd feel so honored and happy, even more so when we have a family. I love kids and honestly if I could be a stay at home wife and mother I'd be really happy. It allows me to take care of all the household needs and just focus on raising my children and tending to my husband. Some women may not like that, probably because they might feel like someone is telling them what to do, but the traditional way is the best way for me. :) And my boyfriend would like it that way too, he wants to take care of me and have his family stay strong, traditional values just seem to be the best way when it comes to relationships.

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    • Its good to hear this (Cookies andmilk) traditional way is the one.
      I can see my sis and brothers families and i can till you this ( they can't live without there partners anymore).
      Staying home taking care of the family will simply make you the base of your kids, and a princess to your husband.

    • Show All
    • Indeed, well says.
      And on the top of this efficiently wise this is the only place to invest my time and money in with no regrets (family and kids)
      With there success, i feel satisfied.
      AND IT CAN'T BE WITHOUT LOVE.

    • Yes, 100% yes!

What Girls Said 47

  • Personally i've seen and have friends and family in loving caring relationships, so i know they exist and can work out perfectly...
    That being said, i don't want to get married or have kids.
    I haven't ever been in love and i feel like that's how i know. When you fall into big mega love you want to be married, you want to have their babies.
    It sounds to me like your ex wasn't in mega love.
    And i think you cannot fall into it if you're on a mission to be married (and settle for the first half love to come along) some girls can sense this and will avoid you because it's not them you'd be in love with but the idea of love or of settling down.

    Dunno though, i've never been in love so... take it with a bucket of salt.

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    • Simply, it feels strange these days.
      Why: what i ever hear when im a kid and all my life is there is somethings called feelings and these feelings have one feeling for each one of them, but feeling in love doesn't mean real mega love !!!
      What i mean here is (we are losing principles )

    • It is strange, the divorce rate is still high and i remember nearly all of my friends parents were divorced, many had really bad divorces. When you see that or go through that it changes you as an adult and you become weary of marriage. Maybe we aren't losing principles so much as losing faith in other people having them?

  • It is to me. Id rather be in a committed relationship than to date a new person every few weeks.

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    • Its good to hear this (Cookies andmilk) traditional way is the one.
      I can see my sis and brothers families and i can till you this ( they can't live without there partners anymore).
      Staying home taking care of the family will simply make you the base of your kids, and a princess to your husband.

    • That's true :)

  • Wow, I'm so sorry that your girlfriend left after you told her you wanted to get married :(

    I can definitely say that I do want to get married someday. If my boyfriend came to me and told me he wanted to get married I would be very happy. Unfortunately though, not everyone feels that way.

    However there are definitely those of us girls out there who do want to get married and have kids! Sometimes it just takes some time to find us!

    in my opinion I'd rather be in a committed relationship than be out in the dating world with a new partner all the time. I'm not against that, I know some people prefer that. But my preference is to be in a committed relationship.

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  • I've always wanted a committed relationship. It's something I definitely want. Marriage wise? I think I'll be one of those type of women who is engaged for a very long time.

    As for every single other women out there? I'm unsure.

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    • I don't think it will take long time for you to be married, as far as you think this way, but you have to be very careful with your relationships, and stay away from hangover level with your boyfriend.(keep control ) .

    • I feel like once being married that's it. It's not bad lol I just don't want marriage life to make intimacy and sex a chore when that happens. Like I don't want that spark to disappear. I feel like marriage does that. And I may be wrong , but I've known a couple of couples, who has known each other for several years, got married then divorced later 3-5 months. I don't want that to happen to me. So trying to avoid that as much as I can.

      But yes you're right. As much as I don't like taking control of the relationship. I like to have equal say in everything and anything. But I don't know, we'll see

  • I definitely want to get married someday! I actually had the same problem as you except the other way around.. when I brought up the idea of marriage/a longterm future my boyfriend of 1.5 years left and ran faster than I would've thought possible. He blurted out all these BS excuses about how he thought I wasn't "marriage material" and just cut off communication with me the very next day. All I can say is, those kinds of people are obviously not right for us. Everyone told me I "dodged a bullet" and I think you did too. But yes I definitely learned my lesson.. now I look for a long-term commitment, and if a guy isn't willing to give me that I end the relationship right away (instead of waiting for years)

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  • i believe nothing else is more attractive to me at this point in my life. <3

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  • When I was younger, I didn't want all of this and I totally changed my mind. I'm not such a big fan of marriage but I am all for the committed relationship. I also want kids, my own little family.

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    • Wish you the best dear, you well definitely have your own family one day, its just will be the right day

    • Thank you, I already found the man and he want it all

  • To me a guy who wants commitment and marriage is very attractive. I know my parents, especially my dad expects me to get married one day. I also really want to find someone who I'll spend the rest of my life with. Where we both can't live without each other, we raise our kids together and always keep the flame alive between us. "I'm not a hopeless romantic, I'm a hopeful romantic"

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  • My boyfriend was looking at wedding rings on his phone and I totally caught him, I was a bit freaked out at first but I'm okay with it though. I'm only 20 and we both would want a big fairytale wedding so we would have to wait until after university and everything. He knows I don't want to do the whole settle down and reproduce thing especially not young. But a big wedding and then travelling the world and sharing amazing experiences with him? FUCK YES! Nothing could be better! I want my career and my man, I'm not concerned about kids or even thinking about it right now. He knows what I want and wants the same things so yeah I'd get married just AFTER UNIVERSITY!! That's my one big condition education first for both of us, and in four or five years we will be a more acceptable age to get married anyway!

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  • Yeah of course I want to get married and have kids. Maybe your girlfriends age had something to do with it. Was she younger then you?

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    • Yes she was, 4years younger.
      I think she should be younger than me, so she push me forward with her positive energy and i will push her forward with my calm way of thinking and solving issues, which came from my more experience in life within our 4 years difference.

    • I wasn't trying to say there was an issue with dating younger but some people in their 20's (especially early 20's) might get scared at the notion of marrying young because they haven't fulfilled everything they wanted before taking the next step. I honestly I can't tell you what she was thinking but I'm sure she panicked or possibly just never saw herself being married. For me personally I always asks guys during the talking phase their thoughts on marriage and relationships. Some people are scared of asking because their afraid the other person is going to push them into proposing or is already picking out engagement rings. But you don't know if you want to marry this person yet. You just want to make sure you aren't wasting two or more years dating someone who hates the thought of marriage. Even though I haven't used an online dating site in a couple of year. I find the most useful function of it is that you know upfront what this persons thoughts are on marriage.

    • I guess I addressed your updated question. But it's kind of a mix up. Age can matter but it depends more on the person and what they want. I have friends who have married right out of high school or during the early years of college. I also have friends who have gotten married in their late 20's (27+). For me I like dating guys up 4 years older then me and 1 year younger. The 4 year and 1 year age difference seems to be enough of a gap where we might be on the same path in life. Guys older then me tend to have had their fun and want to take the next step (like you) and settle down. But like I said before don't let age detour you. Just find out the girls thoughts on the subject early on. By the way did your girlfriend ever give a reason why marriage wasn't for her?

  • Shit I don't know the only relationship I've had is the one with my TV

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  • Obviously, it comes with many legal benefits, and provides protection. Your ex girlfriend was an idiot.

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  • I agree at this point with @justbanANNAz

    I think the situation you're in makes you attractive I mean who doesn't want a guy who has everything settled and is ready to commit to you?

    Right now I am in the same situation I have my own place steady job while I continue studying and all thats missing is a guy who wants to be serious.

    So honestly, don't worry there are girls out there who would die for a guy like you. The girlfriend who left you probably isn't ready to commit yet. Thats okay, better now then later in your marriage right?

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  • Commitment is always a good thing, especially with someone you really click with. And, marriage and children is something I've always wanted. So, a guy wanting that will never be a problem for me.

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  • I would get married because you want somebody who is faithful and committed to you so you have to be faithful and committed to that person.

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  • I think it just depends on the woman, everyone wants something different.

    Some women would love to get married and have children but that's not for all of us.

    I would like to get married but it's not something that I necessarily "need" but I definitely never want children and I would never be a stay at home mom.

    You have to understand that, that life isn't for everyone.

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    • We have to give high concedration for time/age.
      Watching your kid's growing around you while you still young and healthy to enjoy life with them and your grand son's too, is something totally unique.

    • Yes but it's also not good to not live your life before you have children, in some cases. Some people may want to experience a life outside of children before they have them, you also need to be financially and emotionally ready and that may happen later in life for some people, it's not fair to your children otherwise.

  • It is the only thing I am looking for

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  • Hell to the yes!!!

    oh & I LOVE kids and I definitely want them!!!

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  • Hopefully I find someone like you when I'm older.

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    • Hopefully i find someone like you with age of 24
      Thanks

  • Even I am 27 I don't feel ready. But as someone said "If you found the love of your life"..

    I could consider getting married when I am 35, sooner.. Very difficult. I feel I am not ready for that emotional commitment.

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  • It NEVER EVER was x 10000000000000000000000000000000000!!!

    Love TO ME = total self delusion
    Monogamy TO ME = completely un natural.

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  • Definitely! I want to settle down some day and get married and raised a family. I talk about it with my boyfriend sometimes, I find it attractive that he plans to marry me some day! I want have a career and be a mother though, which may be tricky since I plan to be a doctor :/
    I guess i think this way because I'm traditional, I love a gentleman! :*

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  • I would like to see myself someday happily married with someone who understand me and love me so we can grow better together and build an empire.. lol ok I'm getting poetic. However, I wouldn't just get married just because I can/have to. It should be based on the consent of wanting to be married and not just a routine. Marriage -after all- is healthy and good for people who are in healthy relationship based on respect, trust and understanding. Good luck Motaz, hopefully you'll wed someone who deserves you :)

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  • That'd be the goal! Except I don't want to be a traditional housewife who stays at home and looks after the house (I'm a hopeless cook lmao). I want a career and would rather share the housework between us equally.

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  • would most definitely rather be committed to a guy then just date casually. mainly because i've tried the casual dating thing before and i know it's not for me.

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  • I have no desire to be a stay-at-home mom or to be anybody's princess, but I value being in a committed relationship and very much organize my life around it.

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  • I never understood the concept of marriage and children. It seems so old treditional to me. People can act like its a requirement of life. I've been single for a year now and I dont even want a realtionship. I'd rather play the field and keep my options open. I like being independent and incontrol of my life.

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  • No... I want commitment from a guy... and if he doesn't do that then I will leave... what is the use if you don't wanna spend your life with me.

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  • Very very atrractive

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  • Of course.
    It has been attractive and still is.

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