What are your thoughts on having sex before marriage if you were raised religious/practice a religion that goes against it?

Let me start by saying I am a 23 y/o college student that isn't planning on getting married anytime soon, maybe my 30s. I'm in a relationship that is going somewhere (sexually) but I was also brought up Christian and my family would probably freak if they found out I am sexually active with my boyfriend I've been with for almost a year.

I guess I'm just looking for some opinions. I believe sex is a human need and realistically I'm not going to wait to lose my v-card when I'm 30 something. Anyone know where I'm coming from?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, my dad is a protestant and my mom is a catholic. They always told me only have sex with girls you really like. But you know what, screw that lol. Screwing any gir that liked me just seems like more fun so i just did that. You want to keep being sexualy with your boyfriend, keep doing that. If there is a god, i dont think. he really cares about who or when you lose your virginity lol. He is most likely more concerned with what type of person you are, a good one, a bad one, or just a really lost one (like me) lol.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand ya, and there's nothing wrong with it. That'd just human nature. It's expected to have sex before marriage, let alone just being sexually active in general. Pete need a healthy outlet of expressing their sexuality and having a sex life. That's just part of how you have a functional human in society. Forcing people to hide it and never acknowledging is wrong, and it has a big affect on them. It's like telling someone you cannot drink water, because it's sinful and wrong. Well, that's wrong because you need water to survive and function. Same with sex: you need it to survive and function.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I think you made a wise decision, and I am glad to hear you actually made the decision on your own, even in spite of being raised to be a specific way! I imagine it must be quite empowering to have the authority to decide your own actions yourself, rather than rely on the religion that was forced upon you as the only possible option by your parents.

    High-five!

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  • I don't judge anyone to have sex before marriage
    i just don't do it myself but I'm not telling anyone
    what they can do with their life that's their preference
    not that of mine. I'm a proud 47 year old virgin and
    maybe i want become a Ordained Priest but than
    again that is my preference not that of anyone else's
    business ,

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  • I know exactly what you are saying. I was raised Catholic and still think sex out of marriage is wrong. Even tho I have had sex with over 60 different women. Sex is a very powerful craving we all have. Even tho I know sex out of marriage is wrong I can't help it. When married I stayed true to my wife. When I was single I was as bad as a little whore lol

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  • I am a Christian and was raised with that mentality. That being said I think sex before marriage is alright, as long as you plan on marrying that person. I have heard a few compelling stories on why sex before marriage can be helpful. How can I commit to life with someone if I have no idea if the way they are in bed is right for me. I can love a girl for years and then find out she could never satisfy me, or I could never satisfy her. I would rather know that before taking the risk of marriage.

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  • I read on return of kings that women who wait until marriage are happier. Like there was a scientific survey or some other evidence.

    Anyway, I wonder if there was a way you could make a compelling non-religious argument to women to wait until marriage. It seems to me that all these women that wait only do it because God says so, without too much thought about why.

    Did you weight the pros and cons? Did you willingly risk forfeiting a potential future happiness for an immediate one? Or did you kind of just decide, fuck it, I want to have sex?

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  • you´re raised in a certain way but at a certain age, you start to think for yourself... if you are still not ok with it, don´t do it.
    if you´d like to have sex, then just do it. we don´t live in the dark ages anymore. sex is no big deal. be carefull though protect your and his feelings and don´t get stds or pregnant.

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  • Don't let the Christ cult or it's adherents ruin your life and your youth. Have sex and have fun but just be careful about it. You don't want any STD's or unwanted pregnancies after all right? So make sure your man wraps his rascal before plundering your treasures.

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  • If you aren't planning to get married anytime soon seriously it's not worth waiting until you are like 30. You are gonna regret and you will feel like you've missed out. Those who wait to have sex usually get married at around 25

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  • I prefer that you maintain it. If you are quick you should tell them you want to marry soon. But this is not a way to do.

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  • Don't be hypocritical and preach then

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  • The problem is, people don't marry early like in Bible times. In those days, waiting until marriage for sex wouldn't be so hard.

    Now... it's very different. Can you reasonably expect that men and women will wait 8, 10 years from when they're physically mature and wanting sex, to when they have it?

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    • i do. the bible clearly states that things would get worse. like this verse from 2 Timothy: But know this, that in the last days+ critical times hard to deal with will be here. 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, 3 having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, 4 betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 5 having an appearance of godliness but proving false to its power;+ and from these turn away. 6 From among these arise men who slyly work their way into households and captivate weak women loaded down with sins, led by various desires, 7 always learning and yet never able to come to an accurate knowledge of truth. the bible is full of warnings. people now are no different the way they were in noah's day: Matthew 24:37-39
      37 For just as the days of Noah were, so the presence of the Son of man will be. 38 For as they were in those days before the Flood, eating and drinking, men marrying and women being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, 39 and they took no note until the Flood came and swept them all away, so the presence of the Son of man will be.

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    • you're not wrong. ever ask yourself ''why''?

    • faults worship. Mark 7:1-8 Now the Pharisees and some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem gathered around him.+ 2 And they saw some of his disciples eat their meal with defiled hands, that is, unwashed ones.* 3 (For the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands up to the elbow, clinging to the tradition of the men of former times, 4 and when they come from the market, they do not eat unless they wash themselves. There are many other traditions that they have received and cling to, such as baptisms of cups, pitchers, and copper vessels.)+ 5 So these Pharisees and scribes asked him: “Why do your disciples not observe the tradition of the men of former times, but they eat their meal with defiled hands?”+ 6 He said to them: “Isaiah aptly prophesied about you hypocrites, as it is written, ‘This people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far removed from me.+ 7 It is in vain that they keep worshipping me, for they teach commands of men as doctrines.’+ 8 You let go of the commandment of God and cling to the tradition of men.”+

  • Im sure your parents wouldn't freak out if you were sexually active. And besides; do they wamt to/need to know? I was brought up by a liberal mother who just said to me there's some things teenagers do that its better for everyone if its behind their parents back.

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  • My relgion says so but I am convinced with it so I don't do it

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  • sure you're not looking for sympathy?

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    • if you can't even hold true to you're own faith... then how the heck do you expect to hold true to anything? keep this up and your future marriage'll fail before it even begins! do you have any idea what you've just labeled yourself? or the the kind of thinking you're encouraging? i hope you do.

  • Having sex on the wedding night is not economical any longer... lol. Seriously... marriage is a waste these days and most people get divorced after a year together. Not everyone is going to get married in this day and age. My older brother is almost 40 and has never been married, same with my barber... but they get sex

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  • I am from a religious family too, and i am 1 year younger than you so i would encourage you to wait till marriage, if you do the math, you are 23 you were horny (excuse my english) may be since 16, you survived all those years why not wait 7 more years, of course it needs dedication just make sure you avoid negative people who will tell you to lose it.

    There is many other options without having sex, try those options.

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  • I would have serious doubts about marrying someone who was happy to wait decades to lose their virginity. There has been no point in human history that waiting till you're 30's to lose your virginity was normal.

    In many ways your sexual peak is closer to 20. It's still good for a long time after... but still...

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What Girls Said 9

  • No. judging. If you want to do that, that's you. I'm not going to impose my beliefs onto someone else especially when they may not believe in my God. I wouldn't want that done to me.

    I think though that God wouldn't mind it if you truly love the person... even if it doesn't work out.

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    • God would mind, it's a sin he would forgive but he would still mind

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    • the whole point was that they were what was gonna happen... but they ignored.

    • and as far as the issues are concerned: we have teen pregnancies, std's, becoming an object of rumors, a bad rep... need i continue?

  • I'm from a super religious family, just told them I'm moving in with my guy.

    It's rough. Really rough.
    I bad just got degraded as a human being, shamed, guilted.
    I'm assuming they'll be upset.

    But you are an adult. You make your own choices.
    Do you beleive what they believe? If not, you go.

    Besides, why do they have to know?

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  • Why wait? It's your life and your body. Your parents have no say in what you do in your relationships or personal life no matter how you were raised. Sex is not some taboo sacred act that many people make it out to be. If you have already had sex , then kudos to you for doing what you want and not what others expect of you.

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  • I don't think I can do that.
    I would wait till marriage.

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  • I realized that Jesus said no sex until marriage because there was birth control pills back then so I decided to have sex but no children until marriage

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  • I was raised religious but my parents didn't care as long as I was taking the right precautions.
    My current bfs family is religious and do care. I took his virginity like 6 months ago and they think he's still pure. he's 25.

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  • I was raised a Catholic, but like a lot of Irish people, my family tend to pick and choose the bits we like rather than believing every word the pope says. So sex before marriage is no big deal for us or for Irish society as a whole, if anything, people would think it was really strange if you waited until your wedding day. As my religion teacher used to say, "No harm in tasting the goods before you buy them!" I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that saying you're a Christian doesn't determine your entire belief system, if you don't think it's morally wrong to have sex with your boyfriend, then don't let religion or anyone male you feel guilty about it

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  • There are a lot of Christians who are having sex or had sex Before marriage.

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  • It's just not practical. I think it's more realistic to not have sex with just anyone but to wait for someone great. But that doesn't mean you're be with that person forever. I was raised Christian and was told to wait.

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