GAGers: If your SO wanted you to sign a prenuptial agreement, would you do it?

Let's say that you and your SO are engaged, and one day they ask you to sign a prenuptial agreement. Would you do it? And how would him/her asking you this make you feel? Would you feel offended that they would ask you think because you wouldn't marry them for their money? Would you think nothing of it and just sign? Or would you be glad they asked you?

  • I would happily sign it.
    25% (10)51% (18)37% (28)Vote
  • I would sign it, it's just a prenup.
    22% (9)6% (2)15% (11)Vote
  • I would not like it, but I would still sign it.
    15% (6)6% (2)11% (8)Vote
  • I would not sign it because I'd be too upset. (Really? 😒)
    25% (10)11% (4)19% (14)Vote
  • I would be the one asking them to sign a prenup.
    13% (5)26% (9)18% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd sign it. If he didn't suggest it, I would suggest it instead. It's something that would help alleviate some of my worries. Divorce is by no means cheap and usually one person gets fucked over when finances are divided. If I ever get married, I don't know what our situation would be in 5 or more years. Maybe I would earn significantly more than him and maybe it would be the other way around. I don't want to risk it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd be the one pushing for it. I don't understand these women who see it as an affront to them. It's an insurance policy, nothing more. We get car and home insurance for the same reason. We don't expect to get into a car crash or a tree falling on our homes and hope it never ever happens, just like we hope to never get divorced, but sometimes a tree falls on your house. Best to be prepared and hope you never need it.

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What Girls Said 16

  • While i can understand the need for prenups, I would probably be hurt by him asking me to sign one. If you marry someone, you should know them weel enough to know whether they would try to hurt you through your assets or not. If you feel that someone is the type of person to do such a thing, you probably shouldn't marry them to begin with. The person i marry will be someone that i love and trust. I don't want to get divorced. I won't marry someone who i feel will not last. I have already been through that type of relationship and i don't intend for it to happen a second time. The first time was through no fault of my own. I believe in doing what you have to in order to keep a relationship going. Yes, I did make the decision to split from the last one, but the acts that were down to me and against me are unforgivable. If a man or a woman cheats, is abusive in any shape or form, etc, then this is grounds for a split. Otherwise, you do what you have to in order to keep a relationship going. Money, property, etc or lack thereof shouldn't be a factor in marriage or divorce. You marry someone for love. Without that, you have nothing and shouldn't marry.

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    • Whether you want to believe it or not, marriage is not just a romantic relationship. It's also a business relationship.

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    • I think Anonymous made some good points, even if I don't agree with them lol but it's not the worst way or looking at marriage, hopefully you find someone awesome.

  • Might as well I don't want them to end up taking my money and I don't want theirs. My boyfriend and I keep our finances mostly separate and I like it that way.

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  • I would sign it because I would like to have a pre-nup as well. It's not something that I'd insist on, but I would rather have one than not.

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  • i would sign it and regularly put away money on the side just in case we divorce. also id have my own lawyer look over the prenup and make sure its favorable and fair to me too

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  • Considering that I am the child of divorced parents and I've seen the struggle my father has had a prenup for me please

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  • I would expect us to build something together. Even though I'm currently projected to earn more, I wouldn't ask him to sign one. And I would hope he didn't want me to sign one. I would want to build a foundation together, both people adding their fair share.

    If my current partner asked me to sign I would be confused but marriage is a long way down the line and maybe he'll become a millionaire in a few years. In that case, I would sign because I could support myself very comfortably. And though I would be confused and a little hurt at first because he currently knows my sentiments on money in a marriage, I would be ok because I could take care of myself.

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  • I'd be a bit hurt that he would feel the need to sign one, not only because it sort of seems like he expects the marriage to fail, but because he doesn't trust that I would enter into a hypothetical divorce fairly. I'm not the type of person to try to screw someone over, or to take more than my fair share of something we built together. So it would be hurtful to me if he asked for a prenup. I think, assuming it's my boyfriend that I'm with right now, I would still end up signing it and going through with the wedding, because I think it's just the way he is - he's a cautious person. I understand that. And assuming it's him asking me to sign a prenup, after the initial surprise of it and being a bit hurt by it, I'd understand it's not about me or our relationship, but just something he needs to include in the preparations to ease his anxiety.

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  • I actually prefer and want a prenup, I think it makes everything easier.

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  • Nah. I'd refuse. Marriage is not a business deal. I would assume he doesn't believe that we will last, or that he wants the easy way out in case he finds another girl.

    I'd kind of understand it ough if you are selfmade rich, meet her later though and you have a huge risk.

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    • Marriage actually is also a business deal. Marriage is a contract. A government enforced contract. And without a prenup, it is a contract that you have no right to make, only sign.

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    • And let's say, hypothetically, it came to that. Would you really trust the state to decide who gets what? Not just the property rights or your finances, but your children too if you had any.

    • Yes because if he really cheats, and i fill in divorce i think i am the one who gets the children anyways. As i am the mother. And usually the women benefits more in that case anyways.

  • It is kind of a morbid thought that a marriage might implode. However, if he made (or I made) substantially more money than the other, and we thought a prenup was appropriate, then yeah, I'd sign it. Certainly, it's not romantic, but maybe it's the best thing for certain couples.

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  • wouldn't be into it. It doesn't seem genuine at all.

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  • I would ask, it's only a safe procedure if anything happens.

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  • The prenup gives me the vibe that he is preparing for divorce before even getting married.

    It's as if he knows it won't workout.

    I wouldn't sign it and I would not marry him.

    Ohh man don't downvote me... lol

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    • It's just being careful. You deciding to not marry him because of him being careful would only prove him right.

      Would you ever buy life insurance?

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    • I'd like to explain more about it, but it would take to long, so read these links when you get the chance:
      www.fidelity.com/.../what-is-life-insurance
      www.gatewayfinancial.biz/advantages-disadvantages-life-insurance-0

      Anyway, I know it may seem weird that I would randomly talk about life insurance, but I'm actually talking about it in order to make this point:

      People buy life insurance in order to take care of their loves ones, in case they were to die unexpectedly. They're not being cynical about life. People buy car insurance when they get a car just in case they get into accidents. They don't buy it because they think they WILL get into an accident.

      Yes, some people have the bitter mentality that the Anonymous guy has, but that's not the reason why most people sign prenups. They're not EXPECTING a divorce, they're just being smart. Marriage is not just a romantic relationship, but a business relationship as well. Everyone who gets married learns that at some point.

    • I'm not trying to convince you to sign a prenup, I'm just explaining the reasoning of those who DO sign them.

  • I guess it depends on what it says on there.
    There could be some crazy stuff in it. O. o

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  • well, people my age usually have more assets, so it's not something i'd mind completely since i understand why, although it is very unromantic

    i will just read and discuss with my lawyer before signing

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    • Well not every single thing about marriage is supposed to be romantic :P

  • Yes, we should see a lawyer about it and then both sign.

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What Guys Said 21

  • I would be hurt and I would not sign it. In fact, I'd probably even feel insulted. And even further, there's a chance that I'd end the relationship then and there.

    I'd tell her "Marriage isn't something that we 'roll the dice' on or that we 'try out'. I don't want to marry you because we're 'compatible'. I want to marry you because I love you. This tells me that you don't trust in that love that I have for you and that you don't think I trust in your love for me. This tells me that you think that we will encounter problems that we won't be able to work through."

    If and when I get married, I will give my wife all of me - my body, my heart, my mind, and my soul. If she wants me to sign a prenup, then it means that she's not willing to offer me all of her - her body, her heart, her mind, and her soul.

    People anticipate failure because they expect it. These things like "no-fault divorces", "irreconcilable differences", and yes, prenuptial agreements give people this idea that that can't, won't, or dare I even say (in some cases), SHOULDN'T look at their own lives and choices and make the changes that must be made when they enter into a lifelong commitment such as marriage.

    It's like this scene from The Dark Knight Rises...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjffIi2Pl7M

    Bruce Wayne eventually realizes that he has only one choice: Make the jump. If he doesn't, he's going to die. It's that simple. People are so surrounded by the fear of a divorce that I'd be so bold as to say that they almost welcome the fear.

    We need to stop entering marriages with that fear. When we get married, we need to make that jump and make it "without the rope".

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    • You do realize that people don't ask for prenups because they "expect" their marriages to fail, right?

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    • If their assets become one, then why do they put that barrier around them?

    • And see, in some ways, you and I would actually agree on that first part. And in a way, that would spill over into the second. My defense there is that people have very short-sighted understandings of what love truly is.

      Plus, in marriage, even if it were only a contract (and I think that's another reason why we're taking this in the direction that we are; more than anything, I understand it to be a COVENANT and I'm going to write a myTake on that sometime down the line), it's a unique type of contract because it still commits two people to each other.

      And here's something else to consider. How many people do you hear say "We don't need to sign a contract to prove that we love each other"?

  • Yes, absolutely. It is the most logical choice. Nobody should be naive enough to think with 100% certainty that their relationship will remain rock solid for the rest of their live. Absolutely anything could happen. Anything. It's best to be prepared.

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  • A prenup protects both you and her from your future attorneys who will keep both of you in the fight until your resources are exhausted.

    Both of you will know exactly what to expect.

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  • I highly doubt I'll be marrying any rich people but if she wanted me to sign one I'd look it over and have a lawyer look it over and if it is good and no one would be getting screwed then I'd sign it.

    I'd probably feel a tad hurt but at the same time I can understand the reason for needing one now a days.

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  • It depends. If the terms and conditions are outrageous (me not getting a job, staying home, taking care of kids, making supper, etc. or vice versa, she does all of the above) I'd say no. If she hits me an ultimatum, then I'd just break it off. Neither of us should have to sacrifice things that form our personalities or anything that makes the other the domestic slave. If the T&C are reasonable, yes, I will.

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    • Correction: Or accept anything that makes the other the domestic slave. Really need to stop typing so fast.😒

    • Of course, as Sara413 stated above, prenuptial agreements demonstrates a degree of distrust, like you expect the marriage to fail. If you didn't trust her, then why did you ask her to marry you?

  • Show me the papers!

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  • My feeling has evolved on this.

    California is a community property state, so I used to think it'd be no biggie, it could protect both of us.

    Thinking about it more, though, I can't help but shake the feeling that it'd bother me a little. And if I asked her to sign one, I'd expect it to hurt her a little, too.

    Would I sign if she really pressed the issue? Yeah, I'm sure I would. But it might put a funny taste in my mouth.

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  • Oh just noticed the last option I chose the first one without reading all of them lol.
    I would be the one asking them to sign a prenup but if she asked for one than our lawyers would sit down and discuss terms that are agreeable.

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  • Safer that way so sure.

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  • I would be the one who would have to ask her

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  • yeah, i would

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  • I would sign it with my reasoning being that I could be hypnotized and something could go wrong so I better sign it just in case.

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  • I'd sign it. A prenup is the responsible thing to do!

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  • Never get married. Period.

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  • Actually I'd be the one handing it to her to sign.

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  • I'M not gonna do anything stupid.

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  • Prenup is useless in a court and you'd end up losing (without a drastic change in the laws). Why marry? I'd just live with my lover without signing up any sh*t made by the society.

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  • Who the fuck wants to get married? lol

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  • Like it or not, a marriage is a contract between two people. But it's a contract written by some other bunch of people without your input. And I don't find that appealing at all. Getting a prenup is like writing your own contract, or at least having a chance to make a few amendments to the default one you've been offered.

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    • Exactly, that's exactly what I was trying to explain to some of the people here who are against prenups.

    • Read what I was trying to explain to BCRanger10

  • Yes. A trapezist doesn't expect to screw up and fall but they have a safety net there anyways so they don't get killed in the unfortunate even they do fall. People saying it's like believing a divorce will happen is a terrible argument. I'd have no problem signing one I marry them for them not their stuff and I'd refuse to marry someone that didn't feel the same way.

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  • I'm not stupid. A JUDGE DOES **NOT** HAVE TO HONOR THE PRENUP.

    Don't fucking get married. Simple.

    But if you **insist** upon marrying anyway, get a prenup.

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