So... I don't know what to make of this article. Stop the presses because this only happens once in a blue moon! xD
I've never read anything quite like what this author has shared. The woman in me and the hard headed pragmatist are clashing over it. What are your thoughts? Older/wiser GaGers - Can you understand where the wife and/or the husband is coming from? Honesty buffs - Should he have answered from the heart? Or white-lied and had her remain confused as to why the advances were one-sided?
"My husband is honest enough to say that he has never found my body particularly desirable, but still he asked me out on our first date three years ago because he found my way of being in the world, my sense of humor and my intelligence, sexy. “That matters more,” he says, “and makes you beautiful to me.” Sometimes that to me breaks my heart a little bit; sometimes it makes me feel loved."
Most Helpful Guy
Im not "older/wiser" but i want to respond anyways..
Well first thing that struck out was this
"In my mid-twenties, I had an affair with a man who had just turned sixty"
I'm wondering if she means she just had a fling before she got married or if she cheated on her husband :/
Its possible the husband night have a low sex drive which makes him put less importance on sex/sttraction in relationships. Maybe a sapiosexual or demisexual.
From the wife's perspective, I've heard that girls do like feeling beautiful/sexy. It's interesting tho, because the girls who are constantly told they are beautiful or are known for their sex appeal often long for people to value them for things other than her looks. It seems like the wife in this article has the opposite perspective. She's never experienced that and longs to know the feeling of being the subject of someones sexual desire. Could be a case of you want what you don't have.
Whether or not it wold have been better for the husband to lie depends on the result in my opinion. For example if the result of him lying was more positive than the result of him telling the truth. Unfortunately it can't be known.
In some cases the truth can give people piece of mind and relief. In other cases the white lie is better, it really depends on the individuals involved and what the topic is.
Also if he had lied and said he finds her attractive, would she have believed him?
Doesn't his actions say otherwise?
He never looks at her or touches her with desire, rarely initiates. She's probably know it was a lie based on the way he acts.
All he did was tell her what she's probably suspected all along.1