Why did marriage in the past last longer than nowadays?

I really want to get married in the future, but I'm a bit pessemistic about the way it will work. I feel like nowadays, whenever you think about marriage, divorce comes into the package...
Even when I look around me, it's always the older people who have longer lifetime marriages compared to the younger generation... Why is that? :/

Why did marriage in the past last longer than nowadays?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i was just thinking of this image to put up as an answer before i saw it.

    it's really sad. i think that's because these days many people want 'convenience'. they want fun. a good time. they dont wanna struggle or accept someone wholeheartedly, flaws and all. man even if u look at phones, people upgrade just because they want something new, but their current phone could do them just fine. it's kinda like that with people. some just want the thrill of someone new.

    this is why i wanna get married. i wanna keep that old mindset alive and prove that it can be done amidst all the brokenness we live in.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Good question, I actually had this discussion with my mum once. I think many women (few men like my grand-dad) were forced into marriage... so it lasted a long time... even though both/or one of the partners were unhappy in the relationship. I also agree partly with your quote above... today i see many couples give up on their relationship too quickly and sometimes things in a relationship cannot be fixed and its necessary to end things. However i often see a separation between men and women today.

    For reasons i cannot understand the genders seem to be at each others throats and just keep fighting and using each other and trying to prove which one is better, which i find so sad because after marrying the girl i loved i have come to realize how dependent i am on her love and the same for her. We share so many moments together filled with happiness and joy. We married young and have come to grow together, finding and learning things from each other.

    I guess everyone kinda goes through that feeling of marriage and divorce, well i certainly did... but i guess you can't live in fear of that happening else it just manifests in reality. Focus on living in the moment and try not to live your life TOO worried about the future. Hope it helps :)

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  • The quote in the picture says it all. Divorce was not a popular thing back at that time. Couples fought but it was important to stay for the family's sake. People were more willing to sacrifice for the other. It's the change to instant gratification and expectation that the marriage will be easy. Also, society has accepted divorce as a normal thing, and it's pretty easy to do it as well.

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  • I think, at least here in the USA, the risk outweighs the love which makes me very sad
    My parents got divorced when i was 3 :/
    But my father was unfaithful :(

    I think for the most part people have become more selfish and unwilling to sacrifice, or compromise

    Relationships are about sacrifice, and compromise, but you do these things for trust and love not for your own selfish reasons

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  • Other people's marriages maybe, not ours

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDt26gJYVB4

    Why did marriages last longer? Because there was an odium on divorce and many women had no degree, no income, few ways to get a serious income.
    My wife always earned 10% less or more than I do. Thus she could be independent. If I started an affair she wasn't tied up to me to survive. Same if she started an affair. Thus women and men are less dependent from each other.

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    • Women gained their first (small) financial independence during the world wars, when the country needed them to keep the industry going while men went fighting. Small independence because they had low paid jobs. Then girls started going to college and university and got better pay.

    • Girls became less ashamed about their sexual needs. If their husband doesn't care to fulfill them, they can look elsewhere.

  • Society and culture was different. Women couldn't really make it on their own like they can now.

    Look at all the fiction from the era, and the tales of miserable marriages. Oh great, they stayed together. They hate each other. They're trapped. What kind of life is that? That's not something to aspire to.

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    • Indeed. I knew a number of these.

    • My parents' marriage sucks. They treat each other like partners in a company that have to work together. There is no romantic love... it's more like a business transaction.

      Honestly, even if I were born very early on... I'd rather be poor and have nothing than be stuck with someone I'm miserable with.

  • That's a good question actually. I think basically it's because:

    1. The way they were brought up in the generation.

    2. The morals, values they had were much stronger than what the generation has today.

    I don't know if these are the only ones, sure there can be many but I could think of these two.

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  • Back then people were far more whiling to sacrifice for the betterment of the family, morals and values were a bit better then they are now, women often didn't work or have degree's around the 60s that changed though and women started going to school and working and so much more.

    Really it just depends on who you ask I've met many, many couples from the 30s-60s who have been happily married for many generations, others weren't happy and got divorced, some multiple times it really just depends on who you ask, you'll find angles and reasons all over the place.

    Now a days though people place much more in convenience then they do anything else.

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  • Couples were more tolerant of their spouse's shortcomings. They tried to make the relationship work by trying to fix these shortcomings. Maintaining a long relationship takes dedication and love. Priorities are to keep the other person happy, to be selfless in a relationship.

    Also, there was a flip-side that severe domestic violence was often unreported. The couple would still try to reconcile if the violence was a one time small event, because as stated "if something was broken we would fix it".
    Another flip side was that women had no social security if she got divorced. That has changed now due to better working conditions and opportunities for women.

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  • Because old people did not get married when they felt butterflies in their stomach, expecting to live as happily as possible for the rest of their lives. They simply got married to have a friend in their bed. Plus, it's a lot easier to get divorced these days, because in the past getting divorced was one of the worst things that can happent to a person. It literally degraded your social status.
    The problem with today couples is, they don't understand what "for worse" means, they get married only expecting to see "for better" and they actually can get out of the öarriage when "for worse" arrives. You can have a life-long marriage, i bet there are people who wants it and understands the "for worse" part. You just have to make sure that person is aware of the reality and actually accepts being married through rainy days.

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  • Because women were more passive, they would tolerate much more male abuse, because it was expected from women to to shut up and live with her husband forever.

    The way i think is that women should value todays possibilities. Divorce is a tool for you own defense, for example.

    Also, and more important. Dont try to predict things. Marry or not, but be with the person you want until the relationship makes sense.

    Durability is really irrelevant.

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  • People expect perfection and leave at the first sign of imperfection

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  • Simplest answer: Because fixing something was far more important than throwing it away.

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  • People were afraid of being judged for sleepin around, or for being married multiple times, on top of that a divorce seemed quite shameful back then.

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  • Women empowerment?

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  • Just proof that humanity is moving away from God.

    :( :( :( :( :( :(

    ... God... Help us...

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  • A combination of lower expectations of marriage and higher sanctions against divorce,

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What Girls Said 4

  • How would you know if the past marriages were even happy marriages? More than likely in the past, they had the mentality of still sticking around even if things weren't right for the sake of their kids. That also meant that more women would put up with infidelity or getting hit by their husbands.

    It's no longer that way anymore. If a so called ''husband'' ever cheated he's out. If he lay on a hand on me during an disagreement, not only is he out but he's charged with assault.

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  • people have shorter attention span these days
    they also value characteristics a lot more than they do guiding principles that dictate behavior and action

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  • Because a lot of people in this generation don't know how to act right.

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  • Depends on where you go. I live in a conservative town and nobody here has had a divorce.

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