Is it ok to cheat on your wife if she doesn't want sex?

No matter how much you beg, no matter how many dishes you clean, gifts you buy, and backrubs you give, she won't let out. And if you divorce her she takes half your shit plus lifetime in alimony. There's this really cute girl at work, much prettier than my wife, and she likes me a lot, amd I like her a lot.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Give it a go, but be discreet or you're in for a world of hurt.

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    • Yep, need to be vigilant, keep it a secret.

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    • She's hotter than that cow at home, that's for sure!

    • LOL! Very nice! Is she into you? dtf?

What Girls Said 12

  • Have you tried discussing with your wife why she's not feeling it? Have you tried doing anything spontaneously romantic, like arrange for the kids to stay somewhere and take her to a nice place? Or again, arrange for the kids to stay somewhere and let her come home to a romantic evening you've got planned.

    All the energy and effort you want to put in with the girl at work, put into your wife instead.

    You took a vow to her. Just because she is not doing exactly what you want her to do is no reason to emotionally abuse her like that. She doesn't HAVE to do exactly what you want and so you shouldn't punish her because she didn't. Discuss with her your feelings. Work out why she doesn't want to. Have some actual intimacy and honesty with her.
    Cheating is never the answer and you will have a lifetime of regret ahead of you, plus any girl who's willing to go off with a married man has no self respect and will most likely turn out crazy. Like what if she wants you for herself so much she tells your wife herself, just so that you'll break up and she can have you properly. Having an affair is not just as simple as that, you have to trust the women you have an affair with to keep it a secret from everyone, and if she likes you she'll probably brag and the more people who find out the more likely it is your wife will find out.
    Also how would you feel if she did it to you? Wouldn't you rather she'd just spoken to you about it FIRST so you could have worked something out?

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    • She also took a vow, and clearly it meant nothing of value to her; as she isn't exactly actively trying to fix the problem, if at all.

  • is it ok to cheat? HELL NO! ITS NEVER OKAY TO CHEAT!! hearing things like this make me sick... why not just divorce? or have you tried to talk to her about WHY she isn't interested in sex anymore?

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  • It's never OK to cheat. Cheaters are cowards. If you aren't happy then divorce. You should have signed a prenuptial agreement or thought about these things in advance. Besides in the long run you'll never be happy staying married..

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  • Cheating is never okay no matter how desperate how so ever you are. Either you talk to her before you do it and get her to somehow miraculously allow it or you break up and tbh it's your own fault of you didn't have the brains to get a prenup before marriage.

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  • yes. I don't care how many people get mad at me for saying yes, as far as I'm concerned, she's cheating on you by denying sex.

    the whole she'll take half your shit argument is bull though. no where near as many women as you all seem to think actually get alimony. evn those who do, only do for a few years.

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  • I have made ur thoughts a reality

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  • What the hell, NOOOO!

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  • love is love and you can't help your feelings but your wife needs you. talk to her

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  • What a coward. Just divorce or sit still man!

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  • Whos to say the new girl wouldn't be the same eventually? Maybe better to ask your wife whats going on than to gain two problems.

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  • Talk to her about why she isn't interested in sex?
    Stop with the cheating thinking... you can't understand how much women get hurt when they find out... don't even think of cheating.

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  • I think you already know the answer. Cheating is never okay, especially not in marriage. But this marriage sounds like its already on the fast decline. Sounds like two incredibly selfish people who don't know how marriage works. Seek marriage counseling NOW. Cheating will only make your situation worse. Do you even love your wife?

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What Guys Said 19

  • If you ask me, then if she had cared enough about you not looking for sexual gratification elsewhere, then she would put in effort! In fact, if she truly put in effort, you wouldn't even have to THINK about the POSSIBILITY of finding an alternate relation elsewhere! It's her own fault that she is unwilling to give you enough affection and devotion to make you feel emotionally satisfied in your relationship (or in this case, marriage).

    The only one who is actually hurt in this equation is the girl you're cheating with, because you can't really escape the clutches of your bureaucratically verified life partner without divorce (which, as you said, makes you have to give her half your stuff and lifetime in alimony, which is just ridiculous).

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  • Damn before the law was changed to allow gay marriage, hundreds of thousands of people fought for gay marriage and hearing shit like this happen irks me why do people who actually love each other are not allowed to marry but people who don't even love their wife are allowed to smh if you want sex just date women and don't marry plus if you want to reproduce just get a surrogate mother. You're obviously a troll and you got me but it's sad people like this actually existed before they allowed gay marriage

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    • Take it easy Lancelot, go save a princess.

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    • Lol nah I'd rather be at a brothel

    • And thanks asker I thought I was a horrible person but there's others that are way horrible than me

  • Rule #1. You can't change her. You can only change yourself. There is no rule #2.
    You are presently imprisoned and you have to devise a plan for your (at least emotional) escape. Develop a new central interest that is guy only and outside the house. Motorcycling. Fishing. Remote control airplanes. Real airplanes (get your pilot's license). Something she won't or can't do. Gradually phase out your appeasements. They aren't working. If she asks if there's something wrong, "vague out" and don't explain. Stop initiating sex entirely. Develop a routine of effecttve masturbation, enhanced with porn to slake your thirst for sex. So long as you are addicted to sex with her, you are codependent with her and she has you by the short hair. In routine conversations, deny there is anything wrong and fulfill your duty to the household vigilantly. Wait on her. Do not take a lover for any reason you can name. Your changes will cause changes in her you can't predict. Be ready to observe and act on them.

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  • come on!, what? are you going to cheat on your wife just because she doesn't want sex? no that's not a justifiable reason, if you don't like this, then divorce her, end your marriage and then you can do what you want.

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  • Most states don't have permanent divorce anymore... but if you cheat on your wife in a state that has permanent divorce just because you want sex, you're giving her all the reason in the world to divorce you.

    Better to fix your marriage, and if she says there's no way she's ever having sex again, then come to an agreement about having an open marriage before you start dipping your wick.

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  • That's depressing to hear. You sound pretty fucked, minus the fucking. You may as well divorce and pay the fees. If she remarries or cohabitants the alimony will stop. Of course a lot of people will try and find ways around that.

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  • No, it's never ok to cheat.

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  • i mean if you don´t want the alimony thing, you could cheat on her and make it blatantly obvious, so she will try to leave you so she can´t make any alimony claims.

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    • i hope you don´t have kids though and maybe you should tell her how bad it is for you.

  • Wait a little, you have to explore the origin of the problem. Why does she does not want your D?

    But yeah, the divorce and split stuff is bad, unfair for the person that have the most of it, but that's another discussion...

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  • You may as well divorce her.

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    • He doesn't want to give her half his stuff and give her a bunch of money in alimony, divorces and divorce procedures themselves are quite expensive

  • Invite the work girl round for a 3some maybe some lady love is what your wife is really craving

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  • Even if that's true it still is cheating man. Also why wouldn't your wife want to have sex? Maybe try out something she likes in bed next time you get the chance. If you have pleasuring her as a priority I doubt she won't want to have sex.

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  • hahaha!!! i know troll question when see it.

    i type one similar to this. people believe it.

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  • No it isn't! end of you made a commitment

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  • I'd say go for it.

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  • You need to understand why she doesn't want to have sex. You refer to your wife as ˇ"that cow at home" and people who do that usually don't try to understand where their partner is coming from. If you have any love for your wife, try to talk to her about what's really going on, you two make a commitment to solving your issues. If if doesn't work out, divorce her and be free to do whatever you want.

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  • I would say if your wife won't have sex and doesn't see that as a problem which needs to be addressed, that breaks her marriage vow. Inform her that you intend to seek it elsewhere. Just make sure you tell her before you start looking.

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  • I would just simply tell my wife before I fucked the other girl.

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  • Depends on what you vowed at marriage.
    Mostly no, I would assume a 25-29 year old would know that...

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