Getting engaged before moving in together?

My guy seems to think getting engaged after moving in is better, because it will help you fimd out if you want to marry that person. I think that being engaged before moving in would be better so that a woman isn't taking on the role of being a wife before she is even asked, and wasting her time. I know everyone has their feelings, I just like to get opinions or even personal experiences on this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • well for your own situation, why do you have to take on the role of wife? what is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend aside from some legal document? what is the different between girlfriend and fiancĂ© aside from a piece of metal on a finger?

    to me it's up to the couple on their own to decide. for me I wanted to live with a partner before getting engaged or married to see how we cohabitate. I know some people do it, but I can't imagine marrying someone without knowing what it's like to live with them first

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd rather live together first, at least in an apartment. A house should be fore people who are married

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    • What would be your time limit on living together before you get married? Just asking because some people end up moving in and the guy doesn't feel the need to propose

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    • A couple of times a week... we both work. We have taken time off a few times and had three day weekends. He comes to stay at my apartment

    • Is it weird when he's at your apartment

What Guys Said 10

  • Who says you have to take on the role of a wife? Im not sure I would want to engage a woman that thinks she is supposed to behave differently after she gets married... which is probably why im not married lol.

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    • Because of course she'll be expected to cook and clean and act like a wife not a roommate. It doesn't mean she'd have a negative persona after getting married, it would be that she takes on a more serious role. You are literally my fear, my fear, a guy who doesn't know the difference between marriage and dating

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    • I've been in the situation before of moving in with a guy without commitment. Are you marrying her?

    • I have not proposed to her yet, but I will before Thanksgiving. Her parents live overseas, they are coming to visit us at Thanksgiving, I intend to propose before they arrive here.. For me, it was the living together that made me recognize that this was the right thing and it took a lot for me to arrive here. In my mind, there was never a time where I thought to myself I was taking advantage of her by us living together. It was and is a commitment on my part as much as her.

      I would say this, if you are not comfortable living together without being engaged then don't do it. But i really would not recommend laying it out to him as a requirement in the sense of an ultimatum.. Stay living individually on principle. In the end you want to know that your guy is proposing to you because he wanted to, not because you struck a bargain. While it took a lot for me to get where i am at with my girlfriend, there will not be a day where the thought will occur to her that she had to negotiate for it.

  • Make him propose to you before you move in.

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    • What would be the reason a girl should do this?

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    • Thank you!!! That is exactly what my feelings are, I don't want him to become too comfortable and 10 years later I'm just a live in girlfriend 😕

    • If you want something serious (marriage) any time soon, he first needs to show signs of commitment.

  • Okay, but I don't understand if this is going to be like a "live in relationship" and more like a "test" so why get engaged and "live together"? just asking? what's the point?

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  • Why does living together mean talking on the role of a wife?

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  • Well, being a fairly conservative person, i think people shouldn't move in together before they're married. That's what a huge part of marriage is. You can easily tell if you can bare with someone for the rest of your life before you move in with them.

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  • it depends on what you both want out of the relationship but either way it should let you know what you need to know.

    The point is you are doing it before you are MARRIED. Breaking off an engagement isn't as stressful as ending a marriage.

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  • i think waiting till marriage is better. he doesn't seem to be displaying a good attitude here. i know a girl who's wasted 4 years with a guy only to receive a promise ring... even though he's been changing her view... of pretty much everything.

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  • I guess it can work.

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  • That seems like a better idea TBH.

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  • Before you do either, you need to do a trial run of living together, bring an extended overnight bag, and try it for two weeks-a month. If after a month of trying it out, you two can still tolerate each other, thennnnn you can think about moving in permanently, let alone getting engaged. Do you even want to be engaged? I mean, it doesn't sound like you do. I don't know, just arm chair psychology. Anyway, yeah, that's what needs to happen. I don't control your lives though, so, do what you want

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What Girls Said 5

  • I've moved in with my boyfriend before we're engaged. I prefer it this way because it does let me know what he'd be like to live with, whether I'd enjoy it, whether we work well together. I think that it's preferable to jumping in blind the way I feel getting engaged beforehand would feel.

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  • i'd rather get engaged after moving in or spending lots of time together over a few years.
    its true.. for me, it can be hard to live with people. it's different from just seeing them sometimes to hang out, and living with them and seeing them every single day. i think its a real experience that you need to have before committing like that.

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  • Does it really matter if the end result is engagement anyway? I personally wouldn't really care with either way.

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  • I think I guy should get engaged after moving in because he has the right to know what kind of woman he will be living with if he wants her as a potential wife. Who wants to buy a ring only to find out he girl is a psycho bitch

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  • I used to not ever want to get married but then I thought if it. Why would I let him get the best of me of making it a happy home for him and I have nothing to look forward to what if we have a child I don't wanna call his dad my boyfriend the word wife is more important than girlfriend.

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