I need some advice :( my marriage is falling apart?

so I've been with my husband for 9 years this year. Married 3years. We got engaged a couple of months after I found texts etc in his phone from another girl. before I knew it he asked me to marry him I married him a year later. things haven't been the same lack of trust etc... but I've tried and worked on it. All I've done is everything bills taking care of our home our dog car etc he doesn't do a thing and gradually over the years all these small things have became big things in my life. I'm scared it all over but feel I've wasted my time and his. i just want him to be happy and move on. i feel weak when it comes to actually finishing it all. I can't be in this circle but think of all the wrong things when breaking up like when he finds someone else etc :(

Updates:
Shaaaaayyyyyiiiiingggggggg

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The first thing you need to think to talk about this issue together, secondly maybe you can get help from marriage conselling... After all you can see if he efforts or not; if he doesn't do any effort, there is no mean to stay with him. But first thing he must change himself and have you completely anyway again...

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    • Thank for your comment. i agree. I don't want to change him as a person just make him see if he wants a family it's not Gona work for me because I want us equal. Il start putting into the relationship again if he makes me see changes. but until, then I'm all out of ideas.

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    • You have a very nice point of view, I hope everything will be very nice for both of u!

    • Thank you :) you too

What Guys Said 5

  • You'll leave when you're miserable enough

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  • Did you two talk about it? Was it sexual? Is he still in contact with her?

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    • No no contact. Still hurts me but i don't bring it up anymore. Just feel he's not making much effort in our marriage and I've now given up

    • If he has no contact, that's past history. You'd better forget she even existed. (She might have 4 kids and gained 100lbs since then.)

  • Talk to him about it. See how he feels about it and if he wants to change to save the marriage or not

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    • We chatted tonight but he's very stubborn :( he just sees me as a moan but am like I ask nothing of u apart from simple day to day things we need to be equal in a relationship I work and he works full time. but I do everything bills cleaning walking the dog the garden you name it. He doesn't even know how much our rent is he has it good. He's very selfish and I'm very very sad I don't want to be home so I work way over my hours so I don't have to even sleep there no matter how much I tell him he doesn't listeN

    • Well then it sounds like you need to have a talk about leaving then. I mean life is too short to go through it unhappy.

    • Yeah it sure is. Just feel it's a waste :( we cud have been so happy if he would just listen to me. Some people be like that's what us woman do cook clean wash up take dogs out pay bills etc. But not me I want everything equal god I couldn't imagine what he would be like if we had kids. He wants kids I tell him not till you change

  • "Doesn't do anything" does he have a job even.

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    • Sorry he works full time has a good job as do I. I just mean like to help me around house garden etc. He wants love attention me to be home 24/7 and things bought for him etc. I keep telling him that if he wants to come home to a clean house loving wife happy walked dog and luxury then he needs to go get a big fat salary and il do all that hell il be a housewife no problem. But until then things need done and I'm not Cinderella x

    • indeed I guess you are right in that

    • It's hard going wants kids I said not the now why would I do that what's that Gona change il be doing all that as well. And problems be a single , u, etc I don't ask a lot

  • Marriage counseling?

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    • I've suggested it and he refused I feel like I've made it hard I've made it easy I've exhausted everything. But it can only work if two people make the effort see now I've given up. Had a chat tonight but he is so stubborn

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    • Yepparoo

    • Lol, both of you didn't sound rude to me.

      It was cute in a friendly way. :)

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