After 5 years shouldn't the guy be thinking about marriage?

  • Yes, he should be preparing to propose
    66% (27)33% (17)47% (44)Vote
  • No, not at all
    17% (7)37% (19)28% (26)Vote
  • Maybe later
    17% (7)30% (16)25% (23)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yes right, because if you met at the ag of 15 you're totally ready to get married and start a life when you're 20.
    Totally

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    • This sarcasm is spot on. The answer to this question is such a function of age.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you've been together for 5 years and marriage is not on his mind at all, then I'm guessing he doesn't quite see a future with you. 5 years is a somewhat long time and at that point, I think the topic of marriage/proposing should have come up at least a few times.
    This is from an adult's point of view by the way, like say you started dating between the ages of 20-25, then obviously marriage is more relevant. But if you started dating as teens, it might not be as relevant. I voted A anyway.

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What Guys Said 26

  • Well, in the us at least, marriage is not particularly fair to the man. Divorce rates are high and its almost always the female who initiates (80%) and yet when it comes to children women are almost always given custody while the man almost always pays (80% of child support and alimony are paid by men) so this may very well be his reason for not getting married, that he sees it as an unfair system that will essentially take away every thing from him in the end. He also may not see a point if he is already living as if he was married because weddings are very expensive. Their are many reasons why he could be choosing not to marry, almost all of which have nothing to do with "a fear of commitment".

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    • 50% divorce rate is a myth, actually the divorce rate has been going done since the 90s. But you make some valid points 👍.

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    • Education level is also linked to date of first marriage (higher>later), age of having children (higher>later), and number of children (higher>fewer).

      The implication is that lack of education is linked to impulsiveness and lack of planning/foresight, which would also imply less stable marriages.

    • @Dandeus That is correlary but with the fact that education costs so much one cannot presume that lack of education is based on implulsive behavior. However the fact that they marry later would impact the quantity of children due to having less time and if you are educated you are more likely focusing on career which would again cut into your time and push your time table forward. You also wouldn't have as sever money issues which has been known to put considerable strain on a marriage. Then taking into account that as a woman gets older her sexual market value decreeses she would be less likely to divorce (80% of divorces are initiated by the wife) so all of these would be likely culprits. But again I never could find methodology or the duration of time that the study extended. If they only studied the couples for five years that really isn't going to be reliable.

  • There's no "should" here. Your guy is feeling whatever he's feeling and so are you.
    If you want to be married soon and he doesn't, then you'll either have to continue to wait or you'll have to find a new boyfriend.

    Don't enter relationships expecting the guy to do one thing or another unless you have discussed it with him. Did you say after a year "Do you plan on getting married sometime? Because I would like to be married by 25 and starting a family before I'm 28" If you haven't discussed it before now, it's definitely time.

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    • I totally agree with you. However, even if you have discussed it some people still lie. In most of my relationships the guys told me they wanted to get married and have a family within the same timeline. However, they use the reasons of not wanting to settle down as a reason to break up with me. Fair enough, but they are still single. They were honest about lying about what they wanted to get with me. That isn't right.

  • We started dating at 20, married at 25 but our local income taxes punished us for it by taxing us on family income, thus in a higher tax bracket than singles. ( Today, merely living in the same house or apt would turn us into a taxable family, even if not married. Laws are different in every country and change over the years)

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  • No. If the guy and girl are both happy together then why throw money away getting a piece of paper and showing off to a bunch of ungrateful, warty relatives they would otherwise never even talk to? Use the money saved for a house or a car or a vacation!

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  • Well, I think he may never want to get married, it's possible he doesn't believe in marriage in the first place!!

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  • No, he doesn't have to. This might be something that is in your head but not in his. This does not mean he doesn't love you enough by the way.

    When guys like a certain situation they wanna keep it that way while women try to always go forward.

    He might not ever have thought about. Why don't you bring it up? Who knows what he might say.

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  • Once upon a time, no doubt.

    Today... when you think of it from a practical standpoint, why? He's got no incentive to do so.

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  • maybe. it depends on the individual

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  • If the relationship is going well, why change things and make more complicated with marriage?

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  • Only if he feel like he is with the woman that make him feel complete as a man. Someone who is like a best friend as a woman can be good for a man. With that she knows how to listen to get an understanding on his point of view and who support him. If he's receiving this then, he should consider marrying her.

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  • There's no time table on when you "should" be thinking about it. But if you are, talking about the idea of marriage should happen before 5 years has passed

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  • Maybe he wants to devote the rest of his life to you without using a shiny rock to put on your finger.

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  • Not at all... if you are still both together when you are 26-27 then start thinking about it, but don't do it just because you think... its about time! Get married when you know beyond a reasonable doubt that he and you are ready!

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  • Everyone is different. Some guys (and gals) never want to be married, but that doesn't mean they also don't want to be in a committed relationship

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  • Not at all. Marriage is too risky for men.

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  • ehh, not necessarily

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  • maybe, maybe he wants to wait till he knows he is ready

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  • U should be long married after that

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  • Maybe it's not in his plans.
    Have you ever discussed that with him?

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  • Maybe later, depends on your age and financial stability.

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  • If you want to get married just fucking propose.

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  • Yes I think he should. What r u waiting 4 just get married

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  • Depends on age. If you're 32 when you start dating, you gotta talk about marriage in 12-18 months.

    If you're 17, you may not be talking about it at 22.

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  • You should go for it yourself if that's what you want, but no, not these days, I don't see why he'd need to.

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  • It's important to communicate, and to establish where the relationship is going.

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  • It depends on a variety of factors, not just the length of time you have been together.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I don't know if "should" is the best word.

    Some people, no matter how long they've been with someone, just don't want to get married. They're happy as is.

    Also, if four of those five years took place in high school then you should have like another five years to go before you get married.

    A lot of adult relationships have marriage thoughts in the works at the five year mark but not all. It's really an individual choice.

    If one party wants to get married and the other doesn't... then guess what, you're not going to get married no matter how long you stick it out.

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  • It depends. If you started dating at 15 years old, I would not expect you to marry by 20. But besides that, in a normal setting, after 5 years I definitely would think that marriage should have come up in conversation, and have been considered by him privately. That is unless you both have discussed the topic and believe that waiting/not marrying is the best option.

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  • To be honest, if he isn't ready then he has a right to not want to propose just yet. He may never want to get married.

    in my opinion you need to have a discussion with him. If you want to get married and he doesn't, then you need to go your separate ways.

    There is no distinct timeline for getting married. People can be together for 10 years and decide to not get married, or get married. It really depends what both people want.

    I think if you feel he should be proposing soon, then you need to talk to him. Have you guys talked about your relationship? About the future?

    If not, now is the time to do so. He deserves to know your expectations of the relationship so he can make his own decisions. It's only fair, because if he doesn't want to get married ever, then you need to know that information. Then you can decide whether you want to stay or not.

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  • Depends on his age, his priorities, and financial stability; not everybody sees marriage as a race to the finish or even a necessity.

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  • Depends on...
    1. How good the relationship is.
    2. If they ever want to get married.
    3. What stage they are in they life.
    4. If the couple can afford the a wedding.

    There is no specific time to think about marriage.

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  • Maybe he's just the type that's not into marriage at all. Otherwise, yes, you've been together for quite long so it would be normal to start thinking about that.

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  • you are still very young so maybe he wants to wait a little longer, if you were my age I would say its not a good sign though...

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  • You are far too young to have been in a 5 year relationship and expecting for him to propose. You haven't seen, or met anyone. Have not experienced life. Please do not tuck yourself away into a shotgun marriage so quickly.

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  • It depends on what type of relationship you have and their ideas on marriage.

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  • Well no not necessarily, there aren't rules and regulations on such matters.

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  • It really depends on your age. But if you're in your 20's and both are ready to get married then why not.

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  • Why don't you propose?

    Maybe it's a bit radical, but I don't see why not. If you really want to get married and you really love each other, why don't you propose? Bring us all a step closer to equality.

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  • A guy will marry the girl if he thinks she is the right one

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