What do you think of this new "tradition" some women have started?

At the wedding reception the mother of the groom cuts the strings off an apron and hands them to the bride. She then gives a speech acknowledging that she is no longer first in her son's life and that his wife is.

I like it. There is usually a power struggle between a man's wife and his mother. I believe this new tradition is a way of avoiding that struggle and the issues caused by it. If my future mother-in-law does this I will be very happy. Since it would be her way of saying she accepts her new role in his life (and mine) I would feel more secure about including her in our lives more (and at least as much as I include my own mother.

  • Like/Love it
    18% (5)26% (5)21% (10)Vote
  • Hate it
    54% (15)47% (9)51% (24)Vote
  • I'll do it/want this at my reception
    11% (3)5% (1)9% (4)Vote
  • Other (explain in comments)
    17% (5)22% (4)19% (9)Vote
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Updates:
Thepoem normally used was written by Linda Weber and goes

"These apron strings I gave you from winding around my heart entwined around my little boy and now they are cut apart. I give them to you Jamie Lynn, Blake’s yours to have and hold. I promise there are no strings attached so your love indeed unfolds. That place of being #1 I pass to you sweet girl although he is special to this mom, his wife now makes life swirl."
"We prayed for you this man to take your vows till death do part. Commitment to each other speaks of how you are so smart. Now, when I cut these strings away to replace this cord of love, I wrapped my heart around you both till God calls me from above."

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i tihnk it has a good symbolism, even if it should be pointless.
    It's the same as a father seeing her daughter off in marriage, except now the mother is seeing her son off.

    But i think a mother should ALWAYS be aware that her son will put his closest family first! And that means wife and kids. And a son should ALWAYS know that mommy is not always right, and that sometimes family comes first. Also his mother should keep her fingers out of THIER affairs!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • lolol I think that's only fair.

    Honestly the entire dad giving away his daughter thing is weird to me. If you're old enough to get married, you should be old enough to have your own place and job as well. A dad giving away his grown daughter is just ridiculous to me.

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    • Also, I will never understand how women argue with their mother in laws in the first place or how they let some bossy, over bearing woman get the best of them and their relationship with their husband. If the mother in law is being intrusive then your husband should handle that.

    • You should also realize that you're not taking the place of his mother, you're his wife. No one will replace his mother and no one will replace you. The entire thing is petty and stupid to me and such a stupid comparison.

    • Thank you.

What Guys Said 8

  • The mother is only a problem if the SON allows her to be.

    Too many "Mama's Boys." Love your Mother - but the wife comes first... always.

    A gesture like cutting an apron string doesn't change the actually controlling behavior of an overbearing Mother-In-Law... if she is so inclined.

    So it's a useless gesture.

    I don't think my Mom was that excited about MY wife... but I made it clear to my Mom that we can do this two ways... she could accept my wife... or I would isolate her from my wife (and that meant isolating myself from my Mom).

    SHE KNEW I WAS SERIOUS - because she didn't raise me to be a Beta Male waffling idiot. So my Mom fell right in line.

    And - at this point - if I divorced my wife - my Mom would disown me - she loves my wife just that much.

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  • I think this is silly and there is no such power struggle in a household with mature people.

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    • Single mother's of adult sons cause so much drama and heartache for their daughter-in-laws that it's ridiculous. They treat their son as their husband and will do whatever it takes to remain #1 in their son's life (some going so far as to fake illnesses and lie). My hubby to be used to be a mama's boy like that. That's why I like this so much - because it would be a way of symbolically handing him over and her finally letting go. I was thinking of having him ask her to do this (he would do it if I wanted hin to and she acts like a request from him is a request from God). But, there's people like me who think it's cute, and quite a few people who think it's stupid. I added the poem that goes with and leads into a speech if you care to read it.

    • I guess this is cute only if this is relevant for your scenario.

    • The problem is... a gesture like this doesn't change actual "control" behavior by the Mom.

  • I'm sure it's meaningful between the mother and the daughter-in-law but for the guy in the middle it's like fuck off you don't decide this shit for me.

    I would tell my mum and my bride to fuck off, lol.

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  • Gross. If he's a MAN, the apron strings have already been cut. If he's NOT a man. no amount of disgusting symbolism will do the job.

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  • I don't know, i'm indifferent i guess. I mean it doesn't look appealing since i come from a male dominant society, but why not if my future wife wants it.

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  • This tradition does not apply to me, bc my mom is dead. So I would treat marriage as an asocial event.

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    • Aww. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • Hmmm... I'd have to think about this for a while.

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  • I'm a fan for it if it means I get food.

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What Girls Said 5

  • That seems very weird and unnecessary to me, I probably wouldn't like it honestly. My future husbands mother would not need to make a public announcement at our wedding about not being "first" in his life anymore. I mean... to me, that's just kind of a personal thing.

    I would feel uncomfortable if his mother just started giving this speech in front of everyone at the wedding reception. That's just my personal viewpoint though. I don't think I would engage in any "power struggle" either. If I have issues with his mother, that's something I would talk to my boyfriend/fiancé/husband about and let him handle it as he sees fit.

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    • Men tend to take thejr mother's side in the power struggle. I've seen that a lot with friends. A friend of mine had his mother do this at his wedding reception and his wife (and a few other women) cried at how beautiful her speech was. I looked it up online, and quite a few women have done it. Since my fiancĂ©'s mother still fights to be first, I think it'd be nice to have her do this.

    • Well, not all men are the same. I don't plan on being with someone who can't objectively see when his mother is out of line or overstepping boundaries. However, if there was legitimately a "power struggle" and a mother was seriously overbearing, I highly doubt she would even participate in this. I mean, if a mother really feels the need to have a power struggle with her son's girlfriend/wife then it's highly unlikely she would agree to this.

  • Yeah no, this will not be happening at my wedding.

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    • I added the poem that one mother of a groom wrote to go with it. I thought the way she did it was so cute that I'd like my future MIL to do it.

    • I mean, I like the poem, but I would fee really awkward if that happened at my wedding.

      Maybe it's because his mom is really stoic. I can't see her doing it. And frankly, the mere fact that she showed up to the wedding would be enough approval and acceptance for me lol

      She's already stepped back in his life I guess. She's already treating us like a unit and has accepted me into the family (even though it took forever haha)

  • I don't really like any of that. I don't want to be "given away" by my father, and I don't want my husbands mother to tell me that now that we signed a paper that I'm more important than her.

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  • I am okay with it. But...

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  • nope nope nope nope

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