Do you think men who are against marriage are bitter? Or do they have valid, logical points?

I'm asking this because I've seen a few responses that the single men on gag are bitter, and thing women are only after them to steal their money. For me it's not an issue of bitterness, or a distrust of women in particular. If anything I distrust the legal system, and I don't want to get legally married, or condone what in my mind has become and exploitative money making business as far as the courts are concerned. A private wedding or ceremony is fine, and I'm not against committment or monogamy. For some reason, some have this tunnel vision that true love = marriage. Life isn't carved in stone, and you can be perfectly happy and committed in a cohabiting relationship. Legal statuses and contracts don't really change or guarantee anything, people's behavior and intentions do.

Alright, that was my long rant, so how do you feel about it?

  • Most men who are against marriage are bitter, and angry towards the female gender.
    66% (39)22% (15)42% (54)Vote
  • Most men who are against marriage are not bitter, they simply are against the institution of marriage itself
    34% (20)78% (54)58% (74)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
think* instead of thing
Forgive the typo's there's a few of them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well I do see it as kinda bitter and false belief.
    It's one thing to say you don't want to get married because you don't believe in monogamy in general or something. But your reasoning...

    "has become and exploitative money making business as far as the courts are concerned" well you know, courts aren't run for profit. They don't make money off your marriage. They charge you yes, only because we don't want your personal futes paid by tax money

    "Legal statuses and contracts don't really change or guarantee anything" well actually they do in many ways. Marriage IS a legal contract and it comes with benefits. When you marry you get to decide your next of kin. And that is the person that, if worse comes to worse, may have to decide if you live or die. If you'e not married they might not even be able to see you. And if you do die, there is something estate tax you know. Two strangers leaving each other expensive stuff such as half a house, that's taxed highly two married people no tax mostly. AND if you're married your widow will get survivors benefit. Even without a will everything you have goes to your spouse
    Then there's taxes and health insurance and stuff like that

    My uncle died young and never married my aunt and frankly they weren't quite prepared for that. Them not being married was nothing but trouble. It weird that someone you share your life with has no say in what happens to you.

    SO ya that's that. And then I hope you understand you're not picking a random stranger to get married to. You should be able to pick someone who won't totally screw you over. So what guys are really saying here is, they have bad taste in women and they don't want it in writing

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    • That is a good point, probably the best pro-marriage argument I've heard, aside from just "wanting" it. Of course, laws and tax laws can change if we push for it. I've actually supported the repeal of the "death" tax. Many families particularly farmers had to sell off most of their land to pay the tax, then they couldn't make a living anymore. It's theft in my opinion, but that's another conversation.

      By legal statuses and contracts don't really change anything, I meant in terms of a person's intent or love towards you. There are married spouses who are addicts, abusers, cheaters, etc. A person's actions is what defines true love, not a legal agreement. Also, the estate tax varies by the state you live in.

      There is also clearly a business side to it, I'm not talking about alimony or child support. Courts charge a minimum of 450 dollars, an attorney will charge someone over 1,000 dollars just to file easy paperwork. I filed myself and only had to pay 450,

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    • I mean examples of family court rulings, not necessarily just marriage. It's ridiculous when a woman has to pay her rapist alimony, or a man has to pay for a child that isn't his.

    • well I agree, but I don't get what kind of utopia or rather dystopia you're imagining? There are faults in the legal system and loopholes. It doesn't make it a bad system.
      Had that guy been found guilty of rape or even she had wrongly accused him of it to avoid paying alimony, then you would agree she SHOULD pay it

      And lastly I don't see how family court making some questionable decisions, if you see them like that, has anything to do with getting married?
      They have a saying here in germany which means as much as "In court and at sea you're in gods hand" and do you think you won't be going to court after a break up with someone who you're not married to? Not if you have children and joint property. I mean if you assume you will fight your wife over that you have to assume you will fight your long term girlfriend over that

Most Helpful Guy

  • It all depends on their reasons.
    "I don't wanna get married because all women are sloots who will marry you, fuck the neighbor, divorce you, and take all your money. UGH!!!". That's a bitter guy cause he's generalizing that every woman is after his money and that that is the only reason she's getting married.

    "I don't wanna get married because I don't see the point of marriage, when it's simply a paper. You can have a great life, a great family, and a great relationship with your girl, and you don't have to get married." That's not a bitter guy, cause he has a valid reason.

    I don't know if I wanna get married, cause personally I don't see a valid reason when you can have the same relationship without signing a paper. Also, marriages can fail, and if my marriage fails, I don't wanna go through all that trouble of the divorce (huge waste of money) and risking half my stuff.

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    • That's true, but I wanted to see what people really think of most men who are against marriage. Do you think the majority falls under category 1, or 2? Your first example, or your second?

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    • Ok haha I'll ask it tomorrow though cause no one's gonna answer tonight.

    • Thanks for the MHO

What Girls Said 20

  • People who are against marriage have every right to be so.

    People who are against marriage and try to force their views on others - just like every religious extremist group ever - are annoying pricks who come off as bitter asshats and all need to just go live in a cave together away from people who want to get married.

    So. In conclusion. If marriage isn't for you, that's awesome. Don't get married. I'm glad you figured that out before you got married. Congratulations. I don't understand that mindset fully (but I do respect it) but my mindset is very pro-marriage. I have every desire in the world to get married so don't rain on my parade.

    Nothing more annoying and worthy of an eye roll than someone who, when they hear I want to get married, goes off on some rant about how *they* could never get married. Like, I'm not marrying YOU, yo so pipe down. My choice to get married literally doesn't affect you at all lol

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    • That's understandable, out of curiosity which option did you go with?

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    • Okay. I decided to go with A.

      Here's my reasoning. I think, that at some point, in every man's life, some woman turned him down or he was made bitter for even like half a second. And I think that it sparked the whole idea on some level and then that made them look at the institution as a whole and then slightly compare the female population with the one that denied them and decide that marriage just wasn't for them. So... based on the arbitrary reason that they've been scored at some point in their life... even if that "some point" was when they were six and little Junie wouldn't accept their shitty V-Day card in Kindergarten... I'm voting A.

    • I wanted to force people out of their comfort zone, if there is ever a PC option people roll with it in overwhelming numbers. I wanted a bit of a challenge and thought process to happen. Thanks for voting.

  • Oh not at all, why wouldn't they be?

    If a guy gets divorced he loses half of his stuff, his kids, and his wife... that is A LOT to lose, so I am not at all surprised when a guy admits he's not all for marriage. It's extremely sexist and unfair if things should end between him and his spouse, so he kind of has a pretty good reason to be wary.

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    • True, and they're are also many women who received awful divorce agreements. One woman in California was ordered to pay her spouse alimony, even though he raped her and committed spousal abuse. He was even convicted, but once he gets out of prison she has to pay him. They amended the law to prevent future scenarios like that from occurring, but I'm not sure if it applies to her since her alimony case predates the law change.

    • "his kids, and his wife." well it's not like he'd get to keep that after a break if they weren't married. Property obviously is more complicated when you're not married and you buy stuff together but for the most part it will still get split in half if you can't agree on otherwise.
      So married or not, the outcome in a break up is exactly the same

    • finally, a girl with a bit of introspection..

  • When guys say they don't want to get married it's usually followed by "because women will divorce you and take every cent you have and ask for child support"
    And it's not usually followed by "because it's just paperwork and dance words, I don't need that to define my love"

    So yes, most of the time it's from bitter men who've had bad experiences with trashy women (or from virgins who only pay attention or seek out negative stories to justify their bitterness)

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    • True, I have seen many of those statements. Unfortunately it actually hurts the cause of marriage reform, or the alternative of cohabiting. If people in their minds believe anti-marriage = anti-female, then yeah we're not going to see as many people push for reform of divorce laws. Anyway, thanks for sharing.

    • I keep seeing the same complaints from guys: "if we get married she owns half of my shit" as if half of her things aren't yours? "She'll be able to deny me sex all the time and I'll never get laid again" ok wow, and women are the sexist ones? Love and marriage doesn't mean 24 hour sex, and especially after giving birth it's disgusting for a guy to expect sex from his wife when there is no time/it would be painful. "She'll have kids and drain all my money" then don't have kids. Don't marry a woman who works minimum wage. Don't have kids if you're going to resent them and not love them as YOUR CHILDREN. "when we divorce she'll take everything and demand hold support" you can ask for custody or joint custody, it's more common than you think. And if you think you're going to be divorcing this woman then DONT GET MARRIED. don't marry someone YOU DONT TRUST?

  • Marriage to me is very important. I would not want to be with a guy who didn't want to get married. To me it symbolizes our commitment to one another and is the final step in sealing the deal. I wouldn't say I automatically assume that a guy who doesn't want to get married is bitter or angry. There are women who don't want to marry too and I wouldn't label them as bitter either. It just depends on what you want out of life. However with all that said, unfortunately the men that I've had experience with who were very vocal about being anti marriage did come across as very resentful and angry. It's one thing if you don't want to get married cause you don't see the point in it but another if your reasons are based off being judgmental about all women.

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    • Bullshit. It symbolizes your ownership of him. You're right in that it "seals the deal." Because it's definitely a deal being struck: "You can get your dick wet every now and then at my option, and in exchange I own half of your shit, and if you ever step out of line I'll have you removed from the family and exercise the state force behind my ownership of you."

      If you can make it so that marriage isn't this deal, more men will be willing.

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    • @Transigence

      Well then it's basically no different than me saying men are abusive and will be out to hurt me emotionally/physically/sexually. I also can't really distinguish between ones who are "like that" from the ones that aren't. There's also a chance that the police won't help me especially if you're from a country like mine where plenty of murders and rape cases go unsolved.

      I think some men need a reality check. It's not just men who run the risk of losing a lot. Plenty of women go through terrible ordeals caused by men as well. The difference is just that I don't always the assume the worst nor let it get the best of me. I have every reason to hate men if I had to go off with how I was treated and how a lot of women I know were treated by father or husband figures but it doesn't make me a negative, bitter person like many men on the internet. Heck, i'm sure a lot of people who do this hating on women don't even have direct experience with it but just go off stories of some.

    • I can't stand how some men promote the hate of women. It's just disgusting and awful. I have NO respect for men who choose to hate on a entire gender and make us out to be terrible monsters. The man who chooses to hate on women when some of us never even did anything to deserve it is no different than the monsters who abuse and hurt women. It's all based on hate, control and wanting to make us out to be of less worth. I'm done fighting about it cause I'm sensing you have no sympathy or empathy towards anyone other than your own gender which is a pity.

  • I don't think every person against marriage is necessarily bitter, and if they are... so what?

    I don't want bitter people getting married, they're just setting themselves and their partner up for failure. It's a personal problem if someone chooses to hate men or women as a whole. It shows a real inclination toward melodrama and immaturity. So... no thanks anyway.

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  • I can't say most are. There are some who have valid points but the others are just making up excuses. If you dont want to marry, cool. If you're wanting to cut and run whenever you feel, you're pathetic but whatever. Some think that men are stuck with having to pay his wife after divorce, but if you marry someone with no job or something less than you, what do you expect? The only valid one I have heard is "Its not for me/I have commitment issues/I feel like im tied down"

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  • If you are that worried about your assets, sign a prenup protecting them with every potentiality covered (cheating, etc).

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  • the men i've seen here are mostly very bitter and rude. it's really funny how they complain about how horrible women are but when i take a look at their profile pics they are overweight and look like they haven't showered in days. as for you, you actually have a valid reason so you go glen coco

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  • I don't think they're bitter if they don't want to marry. I think they're just scared and have a tendency for pessimism.

    Those who think "women are only after them to steal their money" sound bitter though. Just like the women who complain that men are only after them for sex.

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  • i would never think that just because he has a certain opinion of it. he is entitled to it.

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  • I go with numb 2!

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  • I don't think men who don't want to get married are bitter. The drawbacks of marriage can definitely outweigh the benefits, especially if you're male. So I think it's perfectly reasonable to not want to get married.

    PS: I don't want to get married either.

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  • most are bitter. it's really sad.

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  • Not all guys want to get married. I know a fair share of guys who say that they never want to get married, yet were in a relationship when they said so.

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  • I don't think the ones that don't wanna get married are bitter, but the ones who shame others for doing so are.

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  • Some people probably have valid reasons why marriage wouldn't be beneficial to them. It's not for everyone. I am not sure if I ever want to get married myself. But if you find someone and decide to get married, I would suggest a prenup. I know that's what I'm doing if I change my mind and get married, my guy better be ok with that. I'm not saying there aren't bitter men (and women) out there against marriage, but there are some that aren't bitter or resentful. It's just not for them, and that's ok.

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  • Some are fine, some are not. Ask their opinion on feminism and you'll know.

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  • There are some of both types on here. Lots of women are also skeptical of marriage these days, for the record.

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    • What does a woman have to be skeptical about regarding marriage?

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    • True, they're are many women out there who've received unfair divorce rulings. At the very least, marriage law needs to be reformed.

    • divorce laws I mean

  • I think some men have valid points and everyone is able to make their own decisions about marriage and whether they want to get married or not.

    The thing is, I don't like it when people who don't want to get married try to force their opinions on me. Don't want to get married? That's cool! I am not going to judge you on your decision. But don't try to force me to change my views please!

    I honestly don't care if people think marriage is not for them. There is no shame in not wanting to get married, and there should be no shame for wanting to get married. It's a personal choice.

    I can certainly see why some guys say it's not for them. But the argument that marriage will end in divorce only works for some marriages because the divorce rate is not 100 percent. There are plenty of people who still get married and stay together.

    I'm not saying the laws are fair, that's a whole other issue. But don't shame people who want to get married and give it a shot.

    There are plenty of women who get used for money and get taken advantage of too. I've had that happen with me. I was dating a guy and he would always want me to bring him food, buy him stuff and drive to his house (he also had a car). Even though he made more money than me. There was no reciprocation so I stopped doing it. Then I wasn't good enough for him. It hurt like hell, but I'm glad he is out of my life :)

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  • It's one thing to not want to get married but it's another thing to be against it and shame others for doing it.
    The first group of men are okay in my book but I think the guys who belong to the second group are mostly bitter.

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    • So for you it depends on the reason why they don't want to get married? Or if they insult others who choose to do so? Which option did you end up voting?

    • I just don't like it when they insult others that choose to get married. I didn't vote because I wasn't really sure what my opinion went under.

    • Ok, think of the option that includes the vast majority of men against marriage. From your perspective.

What Guys Said 39

  • Men who are bitter are men who are stupid. Either protect yourself with a properly executed prenupt, or if neither one of you ever expects to earn more than $100,000 a year, don't get married.

    The marriage contract is as traditional as lynching black people under the hot sun. Its origins date back to a time where women were incapable of entering into a contract! THINK ABOUT THAT! Let that sink in. If women were incapable of entering into a contract, then who are the parties of the marriage contract? The wife's "father" and the "husband" (Origin: 1250-1300 A. D., Middle English, "housebondrie" meaning: careful or thrifty management; frugality, thrift or conservation; the management of domestic affairs or of resources).

    Essentially, it was a "trust" agreement. The wife's family were the "grantors," supplying both the "corpus" or "res" of the trust, as well as the "beneficiary" of the trust. The "husband" was the "trustee," having the duty to "maintain" the "wife" (i. e., high maintenance property incapable of self-support).

    It is a relic of the past as demeaning to men as it is insulting to women. The reason men strongly oppose and object to marriage is because they do not want to contractually volunteer to be a privatized social security system. The reason some women use the "tradition" excuse to continue to advocate for wanting marriage is because some women genuinely are high maintenance dependents incapable of self-support, and "need/want" a "husband" to lean on... like a child.

    It's so easy to try to reframe what marriage is. But all that marriage is... is a "contract." That's it. It's a "legal" relationship between two people. It's a "legal" status. That's marriage. Nothing more.

    "Commitment," "love," "loyalty," "family," etc., all of those things are not necessarily bound up with marriage. Marriage is neither a pre-requisite to those things, nor a sufficient condition to those things. Married people cheat. Married people get divorced. Married people remain together, miserable and not in love.

    So, please, stop trying to sell men your bullshit conflation of what "marriage" is, just because you want a "husband," without feeling guilty or ashamed for being a dependent lazy child incapable of self-support, and wanting to save social face and present yourself to others like a holy angel fairy of goodness and love.

    Additionally, that $100,000+ spent on the wedding is better spent saving for your children's education.

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  • meh, depends. Usually easy to tell

    example: a man thrashtalking about marriage, using subjective arguements, and refuse to aknowledge that some people think it's an idea to get married... he's bitter.
    A man not wanting to get married based on objective arguements, but aknowledge and accept that other people have other opinions... not bitter, it's just a choice.

    an other example: a person not wanting to accept some people don't want to get married... is either bitter, or closed minded.

    does that make sense?

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  • "Do you think men who are against marriage are bitter? Or do they have valid, logical points?" Naw NOT AT ALL and hell the only people who usually choose to complain about those types of guys are women, right? Why because if ___ doesn't wanna get married to them that could potentially kill their life long dream (Disney style marriage) + an easy chance at financial security in an/the IDEA situation, right? Which is why they try to shame them/us now about this whole topic.. cuz they're not going to be the 1's who ever get the short end of the stick if and when things go bad (stereotypically speaking) LOL #TellMeImLying? i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

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    • Women get BITTER if and when we oppose marriage way too often, right? Think about that... I wonder why... LOL

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    • You'd be surprised how many women are fucked over in divorces, it just seems like our courts don't have a grip on reality. Or they're just that corrupt.

    • Umm, they get ass fucked by the system? If so YAY!!! + it's about damn time. Cuz I'm tired of hearing about how niggas decided to OFF themselves after going through "horrible divorce stories" while the girl is just smiling in their old home Lol

  • Not all guys want to get married and it is a man's right to not get married. A man does not have to get married because a woman wants him to. I actually do not blame men for not wanting to get married after just how poorly many women act these days and the bad deal men get in marriage. To not want to get married for those reasons is not bitter because why would you want to if women are treating you badly and you will loose pretty much everything you have ever worked for.

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  • A few reasons I would prefer not to get married:
    1. People change over time. Just like you're not the same person you were 10 years ago your SO won't be the same person you married in another 10.
    2. Family court is a travesty to the American justice system designed to pit both parties against one another for the most insignificant things in order to bilk money out of them.
    3. Beyond the legal aspect of marriage which is mostly about joining two people at the hip financially, if you're not religious it really serves no purpose.
    4. Two people can be committed to each other and live together monogamously without the church or legal system getting involved.

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  • Well, I am not against marriage as such, but I never want to get married. To me it's just illogical and unnecessary. That's what I believe strongly.
    Yes, I have my own logical points for not getting married ( ever).

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  • I think there are valid reasons not to want to get married depending on a person that aren't necessarily due to bitterness but just that person's personally feelings about relationships

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  • Well firstly, im not interested in marriage until im like 35. And at that point, im not sure if i would get married to like, the typical woman i see about. There aren't a lot of girls with a lot of introspective intelligence these days, and considering what men tend to loose in marriage, you've got to be quite careful. It wouldn't be an issue if she were richer than i was, but girls often marry guys who earn more than they do... so yeah. If i left Canada for another country with fairer divorce laws though, I'd probably be more keen on making that commitment

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  • I am one of these men that does not like the institute of marriage and I have no intention of marrying ever. I am not bitter, I don't hate women, I don't look down on the people who do get married or want to get married. I wish those people all the best.

    For me there's just far too much to lose and very little to gain and because of the unbalance of marriage means it's a risk that I am simply not prepared to make.

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  • They can be both.

    Many of them do show bitterness but there is a case to be made that men are better off not marrying. At the very least, it's not as attractive as it once was.

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  • I'm against the institution.

    As far as I'm concerned, marriage is one of three things;

    A religious ceremony,
    A personal commitment
    or a spiritual binding

    I fail to see how it has anything to do with the law, for me it's a personal decision and is not the business of the law.

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  • I don't see the point in getting married. You can be committed even without buying 2 pair of rings and signing papers.

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    • ORIGINALLY the purpose was:
      For men: Her fidelity allowed him to know that the children she produced were his
      For women: His life-long commitment provided security for her after her reproductive capacity was exhausted.

  • Some probably are bitter. However, that doesn't mean marriage isn't a good thing. It just means that they may not completely understand and grasp the concept of marriage. The same goes for women, though. Some women may not entirely grasp the complete concept of marriage.

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    • Some people do take the traditions and values of marriage very seriously. If you have a private marriage would that not accomplish the same thing?

    • Also, people do have different concepts of marriage. Religion, culture, and beliefs play a huge role in it.

    • Private marriage accomplish what same thing?

  • Maybe most men who are against marriage share the same view as you, that they don't trust the legal system, but the majority of the "men" on GAG are against marriage because they're bitter towards women.

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  • I've never understood "bitter shaming". Most morons these days think that if you can call someone "bitter" or "angry", that it somehow nullifies their arguments.

    Imagine if I said the following:

    Hey, you're just bitter that you're a slave.

    Women are just bitter that they can't own things, lmao. Dumb hussies.

    etc.

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  • I think they are just bitter

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  • No, just don't want to get married because of the fucked up legal system

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  • I love women, consider myself a feminist, and I don't want to get married.

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  • A combination of both. I do believe most men in question are bitter, but it doesn't mean that they don't make some good points.

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  • Marriage to me is when you are together and had sex. No need no court or whatever to be together. No need to promise to be together no matter what because that's a given.

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  • I think a majority of men that are against marriage bring up logical points. The reason that groups like MGTOW are so ostracized is because they get taken over by misogynistic people, who practically go against what mgtow preaches yet say they are part of the group. I think that it carries some of the same aspects that feminism brought as well; the crazies will always be heard in those types of groups.

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  • the problem is that women aren't women these days. men are only adapting.

    why the fuck would you work your ass off, build a material life, and have a women hold the keys to ruining everything youve built?\

    i seen it happen many times

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  • I'd say it's a mixture of logical and bitter people.

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  • really stupid question to bring in the feminists

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  • they just dont want to marry the modern women in the modern legal system. thats a recipe for disaster.

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  • just look at divorce rate and who's initiating it.

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    • True, but to be fair men can also be the scumbags. Just because a woman files, doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't have a valid reason to. Though there are good husbands and wives who are divorced against their will, and screwed over. I just wish common sense existed in the court system, but it really doesn't.

    • Actually, the "reasons" why were included in at least one study that supports this claim. The most common reason was, "wasn't completely satisfied."

  • I don't think they are bitter, a guy can commit to one women and not need to put a ring on her finger. If she is satisfied with that, then that is all that really matters.

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  • Nah I am against marrige, not for me at all.

    I dont hate it per say I just feel its an old ideal that we dont need any more, hey if you want to get married then go ahead i won't stop any one i just dont need marrige to have a long term partnership with some one.

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  • Prenups are not considered legal documents here and they will usually be dismissed in the court.
    That is really the only reason why I'm not getting married.

    I don't care who, I'm not giving anybody my property, that is just illogical.

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  • Some are in one camp some are in the other.

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