My girlfriend wants a big wedding but she is spending a lot of money now. How can I stop her from doing this so we can have money for the wedding?

[Anonymous]

So her family is rich. Mine not so. I learned to save every dollar. She has a good job and do i. We're both 24 and i plan on asking her to marry me in 4 weeks. She told me she wanted a big beautiful wedding. I'am no wedding person but i think they do cost a lot of money. She likes to spend her money on fregrences and cloths and going to eat out with her friends. I dont want to stop her from doing this but she needs to cut down on it. How can i say it in a nice way? Last night i told her to stop wasting her money cause she buys dumb things and then she is like "i can do what i want".

I want the engagment as a surprise cause if i tell her i'am saving for our wedding already she will know and i want to surprise her

*Also she might sound like a rich snop but she is not, just now that she has a good job she is starting to spend*

[Cmasterson]

Well you can start off by saying, once you two are married, you both have to take responsibility for yourselves, you can't rely on your parents money (hers) and you don't want to limit her however she does need to cut down because it'll be both of your guys' bank accounts involve and you want to take care of her but you can't keep up. You have to both be financially responsible, what is spent weekly, could be saved and spent on a future mortgage. Just get her to see that you're not trying to take control of her but it makes you uncomfortable not knowing where you will be financially in the future.

[Asker]

if she could spend 500 less a month that would be good, but I don't know how to tell it to her cause she cause this great job and she seems to forget she has to pay taxes on that income xD

[GirlyGal20]

maybe talk to her about coming up with a spending plan? like say she earns 1000$/month. Maybe 200$ could go towards eating out, 500$ towards saving for the wedding, and 300$ so she can continue to buy clothes, shoes, handbags etc...

[Asker]

she makes $3000 a month... $36,000 a year but she spends 1000 on stuff and then 100 every week for food. Does she really need to spend $1000 on all that stuff? i don't think so haha.

[GirlyGal20]

1000$ a month on clothes is excessive, espcially with a 36,000$/year salary. Maybe try cutting her down to about half of that? it's all about compromise..

[Asker]

500 is ok. I think she is just happy with the job and salary but 1000 a months is waaaaaaay to much

[GirlyGal20]

just try and reason with her, without making her feel as if you're controlling her

[lumos]

Just propose to her and then talk to her about it. Set up a clear budget plan. Otherwise she won't understand why you suddenly want her to stop spending so much money. You need to be honest.

[TravisG]

Y'all can set a goal together to keep with y'all expenses every month. I did this as well to see how much I was spending in food, gas, and entertainment. It made me cut back on some things because it made me question myself about making dumb decision on spending.
If she ask you why, you can tell her that you are planning a surprise vacation which, will really be for y'all honeymoon.

[Curmudgeon]

Typically the *bride's* parents pay for the wedding? Get some clarification on this. If her daddy is paying for the to-do, then worry not. Of course, you could argue that the extravagance is silly and why not spend on a honeymoon--or a car or a house downpayment--instead, but find out...

[Asker]

i wasn't too sure about that. i'll find out

[jakeofalltrades]

your best bet would be to go ahead and ask her, then you can tell if she doesn't stop spending so much money you won't be able to give her the wedding she wants

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a control issue in the relationship, she's walking over you because she knows she can

[imanf7]

she is spend her money, money that work to earn it

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't matter. He's letting her walk over him