Guys, would you marry a feminist?

And can you please give your reasons?
There is big clash of feminits vs non feminists on Gag so I'm just wondering.

  • Yeah sure! I would only marry a feminist.
    8% (7)8% (15)8% (22)Vote
  • Why not
    5% (5)7% (14)7% (19)Vote
  • Yes as long as she's not a feminazi
    17% (16)31% (59)27% (75)Vote
  • No, I don't want to get married to a feminist
    4% (4)52% (97)36% (101)Vote
  • I'm a chica
    66% (60)2% (3)22% (63)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, I would not. Why? Because I want someone who wants true equality, like myself, so I'd rather marry a woman who identifies herself as an egalitarian, than someone who identifies as a feminist.
    Like I always say, there's a reason why egalitarianism and feminism aren't synonyms.

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    • See, this is another reason why I don't wanna. You say you support true equality, but you're not a feminist, and still get downvoted. How's that even possible? xD

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    • Thanks, my lady :)

    • Denada <3 :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • i don't identify with femi-nazism. some aspects of feminism appeal to me. egalitarian certainly appeals to me. i can't imagine getting with a guy who believed that me being a woman means that i'm lower than him or worse than him or worth less than him.

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What Guys Said 97

  • Oh god yes. Again, as long as she is not some "feminazi".

    Oddly enough, many "anti-feminists" and pro-male feminists think along the same lines, but mostly disagree on whether or not helping men is a "feminist" cause or an "anti-feminist" one. Basically, it is the ones who are more gender-liberal, rather than looking for "the real men" (AKA traditional men). Here are the advantages I've had with dating them:

    - Who pays for the date? You both pay for your own shit. Unless one of you wants to surprise the other. If I don't buy her meal, she doesn't go ape-shit, call it "ungentlemanly", say I "obviously must not be interested in her", call me "cheap", and ask for where all the "real men" went. She's just like "OK, cool" and buys her own food like a grown-ass adult. I've even had some girls pay for MY meal as a treat; something other girls would completely shit a brick over, at least in the US.

    Think "Jenna Marbles".

    - They want to be judged by things other than looks, yes. More like being wanted for the "whole package" rather than a decoration. This is a good thing, because they won't expect to be treated like some princess just because they look good. And the ones I dated DID look good. Again, think "Jenna Marbles"

    - They don't subscribe to the model of the "asexual female" who must "trade sex in exchange for resources." Rather, they more follow the idea of the bonobo, "Make love, not war." That sex is something the two of you should enjoy together. Not something she is entitled to and you must earn.

    - I can be feminine as hell. This was also an advantage when I dated a bisexual girl. I don't have to thump my chest or "man up". If I want to squeal when I see kittens or get excited when the couple finally kisses in a rom-com, they had found it more endearing, not unattractive, and certainly not "beta" as many guys would say.

    - I actually described the whole idea of the "alpha male" to a girlfriend once. She said there was nothing less attractive than a man who "thinks he is some goddamned alpha-chimp." She was also majoring in behavioral science in animals, so she knew EXACTLY what I was talking about.

    - An empowered woman is more likely to be smarter and more ambitious.

    This all varies greatly from girl-to-girl, of course. I don't date based on whether or not you call yourself a feminist. I judge you based on WHY you do or don't. I've dated enough girls like I've described for it to be my new standard.

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  • I could not see myself dating or marrying a girl who was not a feminist. Key distinction is between being a feminist and a female supremacist.

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  • No thank you, All feminists I known or have talked to have all been very sexsist. I dont find anything attractive about that, but I also never planned on getting married anyway, but certainly wouldn't still if was the last type of females left on earth.

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  • Too often (but not always,) "feminism" is an excuse for hostile women to vent their anger on men. Who the hell needs that shit?

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    • Yes, I get fed up with women throwing names around that don't even apply to the situation just because they don't want to accept things they actually do.

    • @Applefan1 Get accustomed to it, brother. You've got plenty of years of that stuff ahead of you!

  • No. Feminists by their own definition only advocate for women, while claiming to be for equality. Just as a man that only advocates for men, clearly isn't for real equality, neither is the feminist movement. I want a woman that supports equality for BOTH genders, and by definition, that can not be a feminist.

    egalitarian - of, relating to, or believing in the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities.

    If she claims to be an egalitarian, then I could marry her. I would never marry a woman so sexist that she thinks a moment that only advocates for women, could possibly be a movement for equality.

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  • I would prefer someone who doesn't identify as a feminist, but shares feminist views like gender neutrality and gender equality. For example, wtf is a "girly drink", drinks are just a mixture of alcoholic beverages it doesn't have genitals dammit

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  • No way.

    Reason 1. I have a girl that is not a feminist and is awesome in ways that words cannot adequately describe.

    Reason 2. Feminists are extemists who are completely out of touch with reality.

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    • How can you lable an entire group as extremists? Has feminism ever done anything bad to you? How are feminists out of touch with reality?

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    • @heavensgifttogirls so what you're saying feminism is the advocacy of womens rights on the grounds of equality to men. Therefore the ultimate goal of feminism is for women to be equal to men. So if Women = Men doesn't that mean Men = Women? If if both genders are equal to each other, doesn't that mean total gender equality?

    • @Cherokeehp women ARE equal to men, they can do anything a man can do that their biology doesn't limit (you're just going to have to accept that men are physically stronger than women and that will never change).

  • An egalitarian, definitely would be a requirement. A feminist, not even close.

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  • I voted C as it is probably the most reasonable option, though ideally I would prefer a very traditional woman as I'm religious and somewhat reactionary to a fault. But I would be open to a feminist provided she was reasonable, non-selfish, loving, and actually took our marriage seriously whereas I tend to worry that feminists are more likely to divorce, be unfaithful, and/or not want to hear my point of view. Furthermore, I behave in a very chivalrous manner which a feminist woman may find offensive since it contradicts their egalitarian worldview, so another question may be if a feminist would even want to marry a man like me.

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    • A feminist can be reasonable, non-selfish, and loving. We aren't offended by a man being courteous we just expect you to accept our courtesy in return. We don't want you to be polite to us because we're women, we want you to be polite to us because you respect people. In return we'll treat you with respect and kindness too.

    • @Cherokeehp And unfortunately that's something I have a bit of trouble with. Not with accepting your courtesy and respecting people in general, but not respecting you just because you're female. As an older brother with a younger sister, I just can't help but see girls as being more fragile and delicate, warranting special attention. Simply, you're all so cute to me and the big brother instinct automatically takes over.

    • The thing is though, we're not delicate flowers. We're just people, just like you. Although there are some physical differences and women are generally smaller than men, we aren't fragile flowers that need to be protected. I'm sure the girls around you appreciate having you as a protector, but it usually isn't necessary. Just make sure you're polite to everyone, not just females.

  • My wife is feminist. :)

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  • I don't want to get married ever in my life.

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    • Marriage is just not worth it I feel. Maybe 60 years ago marriage was beautiful and nice but nowadays it is a waste of time, money, effort for what nothing. Sorry but that is how I feel.

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    • I think most men give up on marriage when we realize the quality of women thats out there

    • @dudeman yes that is true and that is why I have given up.

  • There are feminists and then there are feminists. While I do not believe the sexs are equal in all ways, I do think they are entitled to equal opportunity. At the same time, the old "wage gap" thing gets old. I've worked in healthcare for the past 30 years, and I have always out-earned the women I work with - by a LOT. Sexism? No! I worked the shifts the women wouldn't take, I worked in places where women wouldn't work, I did jobs women turned their noses up at, and I did more overtime than the women did. I also took off less. I see this over and over, Two EMTs carrying a stretcher: first six months, the woman is in there carrying the load -even though it's more like 50% more of a load because she's smaller. Great! Six months later, she's doing the desk job for less pay. It's like that all over. Women MAY BE discriminated against in upper-level management jobs - I never worked that type of jib so I don't know - but everywhere else, they're not. But still the feminists are complaining about unfairness - that's unfair!

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    • As a feminist the wage gap isn't even my biggest concern so I hear what you're saying. I know I worked harder than male coworkers often exceeding them in weekly work by 10 hours and got paid less for the same job. But like I said, I understand the pay thing is running it's course. I'm more concerned about making sure I'm not left holding the bag on everything. Like having to care for children, work, cook, clean, etc all by myself. Perfect feminism would be a doing those things equally together. Feminism means equality of the genders.

    • @SparklingFirefly or at least i agree to equal expendature of effort in a relationship, even if that means doing different things, but participating equally.

  • It's very unlikely, it's very hard to find an feminist who is not too obsessed about feminism and is not a slut. I am fine if she is not shaving her armpits, don't wearing an bra, and having some boyish hobbies, but I am not fine with all the bullshit about objectification and staff like that, I also don't like women that try to make me an henpecked, also women that know to cook it always nice. :)

    https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/henpecked

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    • You've obviously never even spoken to a feminist if that's what you think they're like.

    • Actually I know quite many feminists on my life, and it's always the same story for me. Feminism is one thing on paper and other thing in real life, so I know exactly what I am taking about. If you have found one feminist that is like that, then you was very lucky.

      i3.kym-cdn.com/.../376.jpg

  • Never. And how would that happen. Those militant feminists hate men to begin with. They have a good cause but are turning half the people that might agree with them against them due to being giant cunts. Just because I am a gentleman and hold the door open for a woman, doesn't mean I don't think she is strong enough to open it herself. Or have some hidden meaning like "without a man opening doors for you, you would go nowhere...". no, I am just being a gentleman for the woman I am pursuing or love.

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  • depends... if we're talkign radfem or "feminism is the only way to get eqality" i won't even date her.
    She needs to see there's more ways to equality, and actually stand for equality and be willing to work to achieve it. Even with cases not benefiting women.

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  • Not a chance.

    Reasons:

    1. Their views and the way they present them make them seem to be boring, annoying and easily offended people.

    2. They will raise the "sexiest" card in your face for the most ridiculous and nonsensical reasons.

    3. I don't wanna marry a girl who will lecture about "gender equality" every time we are on the table.

    4. Feminists are mostly hypocrites, they claim that they want equality, but in reality they just want superiority.

    5. Even the good ones who believe in "equality" misunderstand the meaning of it, they think that being equal means being the same. Of course men and women are equal as human beings, but they are not the same, there are huge biological and psychological difference between the two. That's undeniable... That's why there are things that suitable for men and are not suitable for women and the opposite is true. Feminists tend to ignore that.

    (Example to show the difference between 'being equal' and 'being the same':

    You are your classmate had a text that contains 2 questions, you both scored 90% in total, you got 100% in the first question while your classmate got 90% ... But in the second question you got 80% and your classmate got 90%. So in total, you both have an equal mark, but in some areas one had an advantage over the other.

    And that's it with men and women. Generally men have advantages over men in some areas, women have advantages in others. Thus they can't be treated the same in every single situation.
    6. I like the femininity of women and the masculinity of men. Feminists want to destroy that by their "gender equality" views.

    7. Feminists tend to be liberals, pro-choice, pro-gay, pro breast feeding in public..( things I'm against).

    8. I don't like the 'us vs them' philosophy that feminism created.

    Women in the west already have all the rights they want, I'm not sure what these feminists are whining about? While I really admit and realize that women need more rights in some parts of the world but I don't think that feminism is/was the solution for that.

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  • Voted C, although I would prefer it if she classified herself as an egalitarian.

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  • C.

    Feminist is a very vague label these days and I've learned not to take the decision to identify as one or not seriously. Some awesome people aren't feminists, some self identified feminists are awful people. The decision to take the label or not says nothing about that person.

    If she believes in gender equality but does not identify as a feminist, then I'd still marry her as that's the same as me.
    If she believes in gender equality and does identify as a feminist, then I'd still marry her.
    If she clearly has issues with men (or just a twisted view on gender equality in general), then it'd be very unlikely the relationship would work whether or not she says she's a feminist.

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  • Personally no I was raised traditional and my core values and morals and just overall personality is very old fashioned, to date much less marry a feminist would be a hassle to say the least, especially with such conflicting and clashing views, plus a lot of feminists are also more liberal and being a conservative and religious would further add to it not working.

    In a different time and a different age back in the past I could see my view being different but here and now in the present, it'll be a cold day in hell before it happened.

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  • nothing wrong with feminists as long as it's not a "feminazi"

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  • i would and did marry a feminist.

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  • Yeah as long as she's e real feminist, and not one of those bitches that use feminism to get what they want.

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  • I'm all for gender equality. But at the end if the day, I'm a masculine man that needs a feminine female.

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    • Believing people should be paid the same doesn't affect people's personalities.

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    • Feminists can be feminine just like they can be masculine and every other delineation in between. Thinking you want to be respected as a person doesn't mean you can't like paint your nails, like pink, bake cookies, and wear skirts or whatever.

    • @BellePepper sounds like we are in agreement then

  • I'd say beliefs are important for chemistry and getting along; it's important for seeing eye to eye, but I think too many feminists are going to believe things I disagree with or perhaps defend the crazies.

    So if you don't believe in this and that which feminism goes on about then well you might as well not call yourself feminist, and while there could be plenty of exceptions I'm probably going to say no to dating a feminist. But I wouldn't drop everything and leave just because feminist, I'd question your beliefs.

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  • Ideally no, but it really depends on the individual. Not all feminists hold the same views on every issue so I can't say no.

    Online most of the girls who make a point to identify as feminists comes across as condescending and easily annoyed.

    It's not the fact they identity as feminists that make them condescending, it's the way I've noticed they talk to people.

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  • Yes I would, I support feminism.

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  • Of course not because id like to have a good life.

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  • If she is a good match and a good person why not.

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  • I lean towards no, largely because a lot of the feminists I've run into/seen (regardless of whether or not they are feminists or feminazis) don't posses certain qualities that i look for in a potential partner, we often don't agree on a few key issues concerning what they view as sexism, and lastly, i often find that i have to walk on too many egg shells when im around a feminist, and so im not able to be my true humorous self. Much safer /funner for me to date a woman who doesn't ascribe herself too strongly to feminism

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  • Probably not, they tend to be the hyper sensitive types and I don't really get along with women who are highly sensitive. They literally indoctrinate themselves into believing they are oppressed. lmao, stfu none of them have any idea what oppression truly is. When you try living under a brutal regime, you come back to your first world country and let me know how oppressive it really is. I just hate victim mentality. There are countries where families sell their children to go work, or marry them off as child brides. Some even train young boys to be soldiers and to kill. Don't give me this "wage gap" myth shit. I know plenty of women making more money than I make, and it wasn't a handout. They simply have a skill and a job where they EARN it.

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  • More from Guys
    67

What Girls Said 12

  • I wouldn't marry a feminists because I think it is bullshit and that people should be equalists which is different from feminism.

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  • As long as she had big titties. Because it's the inside (of her bra) that counts :,)

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  • I wouldn't consider marrying someone who wasn't a feminist. How could a person ever be happy with a partner who thinks they're lesser than them?

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  • I'm a chica!

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  • I believe that the men who would marry feminists are likely to be feminists/allies themselves.

    People who say no probably don't understand what feminism is actually all about.

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    • "feminism is actually all about."

      Yup that's it! We don't like feminism and therefore we must not understand it. We understand it, and we don't like it, if you have a problem with that, tough shit motherfucker.

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    • @Squidward not yet, darling. Give me time.

    • @KoolStoryBrah She said that PEOPLE who say no, don't understand what feminism is all about. Not "men".

  • I am a feminist and/or egalitarian, call it however you want it, I don't think women are above anyone, okay? and many girls like me who identify themselves as feminists don't think that either

    of course I would marry a feminist, if she fights for men rights too, I don't want a crazy feminazi who wants to end with men, I don't need such negativity in my life.

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  • Pretty sure the boyfriend has no problem with it :P I also would prefer to marry a feminist.

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  • I would hope a guy could, not all feminists are evil man haters. Some of us are actually quite swell. My boyfriend is down for it anyway.

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  • modern day feminism is trying to get women to have more rights then men, not equal rights.

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  • calling women feminizi is a cowardly way of claiming you're an equalist, while not let go of sexism.

    every time i see a woman attacked for being a feminazi it is subsequent to her rejecting some gender role or theory about natural felinity and masculinity,. which just coincidently would put the guy in a place of power or entitlement. and the woman in a place of lesser power but invariably getting praised for being a 'real' woman... knowing her place. which usually means being pliant and receptive to the guy and cooking and cleaning. . i guess thats intoxicating for some and hard to alert go of.

    just a thought since i noticed the pole choices. the outcome did not surprise me.

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    • Another typical example of a clueless feminist "If you don't agree with the movement, you must be a sexist in disguise". That's one hell of a script you laid out here about feminazis being called out... So the SCUM manifesto? Just another move by sexists trying to keep men in power? Oh my what a poor victim you are <:( to say otherwise would be sexist right?

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    • Feminism is a man-hating cult driven by angry lesbians and bitter women who like to brainwash younger women with lies and anti-male propaganda. The good news is that feminism is falling off a cliff as more and more people are waking up to what feminism is really about.

  • they wouldn't cause then who would do the washing up and make them a meal when they come home? oh and feminists are evil and only here to eradicate men from Earth I forgot

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    • See, this is why I don't want a feminist, this kind of victim attitude is what I dislike.

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    • @AleDeEurope I think it's very easy to make blanket statements about how people portray themselves. I have only very rarely seen feminists portray themselves "negatively". Scare quotes added as that is a highly subjective word. I have seen a *LOT* of men freak out when they see a woman say anything they perceive as being related to feminism (for example: "people who dislike feminism probably don't fully understand it" which is a very bland and general statement got me a very negative reaction). Is anyone at fault? Or is everyone at fault? Willful ignorance is a problem on both sides, I think.

    • @AleDeEurope actually feminism is mostly about egality and against gender roles. making women stronger, you know? not whining over our own lives. And yes it was sarcasm.

  • I'm a feminist and I'm getting married very soon ☺️☺️☺️

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    • You'll be divorcing your husband soon after.

    • Naw, he's a feminist too lol we treat each other with respect and love ☺️ @stephen10

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