I`m still a virgin and in my late tweenties. I aim to only get married once and intend to marry a stunning girl. I`m like a 8/10 myself with a good job. I have rejected several girls this year they have met my personality standards but fell short when it came to looks please don`t judge me for this I feel so shallow already I tried to lower my standards for looks but just can`t. Im open to all races by the way.
my standards are: 1) someone friendly and kind with a big heart. 2) witty and hold a university degree but not that important TBH 3) Mellow and helpful 4) loves kids As for looks I`m onto tanned brunnetes mostly that are athletic like these:
I feel so depressed for not finding her..
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+1 y
To make it more difficult then it already is I'm also looking for a similar virgin as me but willing to let that criteria go. I thought it would be special if both of us lost it to each other. I feel like I have wasted a large chunk of my sexual life and so feel like I need to make up for it by marrying someone beautiful. Like I owe it to myself.
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+1 y
WowI thought these girls were like 9 and 8 /10 not solid 10's I could think of more beautiful girls but that would be pushing it so included these
I`m a virgin and wonder if my standards are too high for the girl I want to marry photos included?
Well honestly you're allowed to have whatever standards you want. Also since you have most of the traits you're looking for in a partner it does seem like a fair trade.
So I think you're standards are justifird, however that doesn't mean you're going to find what you're looking for. Just because your standards are fair doesn't mean you're entitled to getting what you want.
There's the issue of rarity. 1. You want a virgin (don't blame you, personally I'd like one too) but virgins are statistically less common and become increasingly harder to find the older you get.
2. Additionally you want a girl who is an 8/10 which once again statistically less common.
3. That's one or the kther, but to find a girl who is BOTH an 8/10 AND a virgin is even less likely. Although I think it's true that the most beautiful girls often have less partners than the more average looking girls, it's still unlikey to find a girl that beautiful who is a virgin. Obviously she's attractive so a woman that attractive must get lots of offers, surely in 20+ years of living one of the many offers she's received must have been tempting... no? It just doesn't make sense unless she's religious and also waitint,... but once again it narrows down your dating pool.
3. Then on top of being a really attractive virgin she needs to have a compatible personality, be single, and live close to you. I'm not saying it's impossible but you are looking for a needle in a haystack.
I had the thought recently that contrary to popular belief really desirable people Dont really have an easier time dating. Sure you might have more options but like most people you want your perceived equal and if you have rare traits it makes it hard to find an equal who has those same rare traits.
Well enough rambling... I wish you luck 👍
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Asker
+1 y
I know about the slim possibilities Im afraid that I have to settle with someone less than I hoped for I know by time I would grow into her I have this ability with people to let them open up to me in a short time. If that happens and I settle for less in terms of looks deep down I know I won't be fully happy.
I can completely understand this, and there is nothing wrong with you having high standards. I have very high standards myself. There is nothing wrong if you want a woman who is 8/10 in looks and say 8/10 in personality, this thinking is absolutely fine, you don't have to reduce your standards, you don't have to lower your standards, don't compromise with your standards. Please don't feel bad.
However you have to remember one important point, if your standards for physical looks and personality are going to be equally high then you have to prepared for the consequences of your thinking. Meaning you may get what you deserve or you may not get what you deserve, you may find such a woman just like the way you want or you may never find her, you may never come across such a woman.
Hence it's possible that you may have to stay single for a very long time or forever. Hence be prepared to face the consequences of your thinking.
For your information I am also in my late 20's and I am also a virgin, I have always been a virgin and I intend to remain a virgin till death!!, so you are not alone young man!!
Well if you want to limit yourself like that and reject every girl that doesn't fit all those standards to a T, nobody's going to stop you. However you should realize that you might just end up alone down the road due to never finding anyone who fits your narrow standards. And considering that you have 0 experience, it's a bit crazy to have all these standards already when you basically haven't even TRIED to date someone who wasn't your perfect ideal girl. I'm not saying that you should go for the total opposite of your current standards, but would it really be the end of the world if she was, say, blonde with a somewhat average build (as opposed to a brunette who's extremely slim)? Who knows, you might just end up liking it. And if not, well, at least then you'll have the experience to back it up. Like @DieselBarbie said, it's best if standards are based on actual experiences, not just fantasies. You might surprise yourself. And like I said, if your standards are too high then you're only setting yourself up for failure and a lonely life. Compromising a little should be acceptable. You're not settling, you've just realized that the perfect girlfriend doesn't exist.
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Asker
+1 y
I hear you I said I prefer brunettes but open to any girl regardless of ethnicity but she has to full fill the criteria of the fit athletic girl with beautiful face.. My problem is that Im not looking for a date so can`t be flexible searching for the mother of my kids.
You SHOULD be looking for someone to date. You don't just jump into a serious relationship with the snap of a finger and get babies within a week. These things take time. So take your time and experiment a little.
It's very rare for people to find the love of their life on the first try anyway so you're putting an IMMENSE amount of pressure not only on yourself, but also on your future girlfriend. Instead of shooting for marriage and kids, how about actually shooting for having a successful relationship first, and THEN start thinking about marriage? You don't win a marathon by taking shortcuts or by just running around the finish line.
I get what you mean, I'm going to start to know the person something which I already have done in the past with hot girls but they didn't measure up personality wise, then I would get engaged again a period where I would get to know her before tying the knot.
Your standards are way too high. If you expect high standards of your prospective woman, then you need to be a very desirable and competitive man, because the points you say about your ideal woman are extremely desirable by any man, and why would such a perfect woman marry you when she can just find someone better? You have to look at dating as a competing field. You have to know how to woo her, or she won't come to you.
You say you are a virgin. Are you a virgin because you cannot attract a mate, have poor social skills, or are you a virgin because you deliberately turn down women who want you or are attracted to you? I say if you are the latter, then you have a very good reason to seek a virgin wife yourself, because she may preserve her virginity for the same reasons and thus her life habits are similar to yours. However, if you are the former, then suck it up. No one wants to marry a virgin-loser.
I'm just saying... you should really consider what you are like and what you expect from your woman.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I saved myself for marriage I have had plenty of chances of ONS with gorgeous women but my morals don't allow me to do that
At first, reading thisi was like "WTF dude"... I was about to give you the you might find her but no one can guarantee you will be the perfect match for her. Then a realization hit me. I was just like you. Throughout middle school i rejected guys who just fit somewhat of the criteria. I needed and wanted the guy that fit everything: colored eyes, tall, handsome, intelligent, funny, romantic, athletic, and adventurous... Disney kind of instilled this criteria within me. I carried on with this criteria throughout high school. I waited and senior year i found my perfect match. He had everything i was looking for. My first boyfriend was my dream boyfriend and he was white! I always had and have a thing for them, being the hispanic chick lol sadly last month we broke up due to me trying to findnsomething wrong in our relationship. We are both to blame for. But i know i will get him back. Soo if you are waiting for that person, wait and they will come but you have to believe as well. Read The Secret... Best of luck 😘
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Asker
+1 y
thanks and hope you get back with him and don`t mess it up again :)
dude im sorry but honestly you need to get over yourself. do you think that you're a perfect 10? even the girls in the pictures dont look like that when they wake up in the morning, when they are sick, and definitely won't look like that when you are 80 years old. so you need to think about whats important to you in life... do you want something deep and meaningful that will last... or do you want a girl to just look at? because if your searching for perfection you'll never find it and just spend your days jacking off to pictures of fake photo-shopped images. do you a girl so focused on her appearance that all she eats are protein bars and spends all her free time at the gym? or do you want someone that makes your life better just by being herself? you need to rethink your view on women of you ever want a successful relationship.
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Asker
+1 y
Your points are valid, but I want someone close to those girls as possible I know they look different in the mornings and it takes hard work at the gym to look like that. But try and see it from my perspective I have never dated and would only be with one women for the rest of my life so I would never experience a good looking women that way.
Have you thought that maybe a girls that you are after usually already have boyfriends, are not virgins or not willing to date you? You are after a solid 10 and won't accept anything less than that. How do you expect a girl to accept you with all your flaws and shit? And I get you want a girl for the rest of your life but life doesn't work that way. It might freak girls oit if your goal is immediately to spend rest of your life with them.
Sorry, didn't mean to only write one sentence. I accidentally picked "send" lol Well, I think your standards are fine. I have my own standards too, and everyone has their own standards. So, don't worry if your standards are too high or not, just go find a girl like that. I'm 21 now, have been on so any dates, but I'm still a virgin and never been in a serious relationship before... People say I should try seeing someone, but I don't want to lower my standards just because I don't find the one yet. Cheers!
What your looking for is a unicorn. Unicorns don't exist. Even if she existed, it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Don't ruin your financial success by getting married and divorced to a girl who is pretty. If you do get married have a prenup and get to know her well. Readin all the comments from the girls is hilarious. Not going into those can of worms. Anyways, if you have money, power, or fame you can get hot girls easy. Their personality will not likely not be what your looking for though. I get where your coming from. Your trying to settle down and you want a woman who had a good personality and beauty. I would recommend looking in foreign countries. I have travelled and I have noticed that women there are generally better than western society. But for god sake don't settle down with a girl because of you being 'desperate'. Besides, when you will be 30+ you will get the attention from the girls who are your age and desperate but their looks have generally faded and that's what your not looking for.
I'd say ur standards r too high. Even if ur a perfect 10/10 u still shouldn't accept only other 10/10s. Life usually doesn't work that way. But on the other hand if ur not attracted to her then it can't work out anyway. So if u can get urself to be attracted to a not quite so perfect girl then good. Otherwise I'm out of advice for u. Sorry bud
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Asker
+1 y
thanks for the advice, I see where you coming at and life deals you cards and you sometimes got to accept. if this was dating I would have gone out with those girls i rejected but since its marriage Im going to be stuck with the person so have to choose wisely
Very true. But u could try dating those girls and u might end up finding them more and more beautiful as u get to know them better. That's usually what happens when u fall in love. Ur partner just gets more beautiful to u as time goes on. And besides, ur gonna b with that person the rest of ur lives right? She won't always be as hot n sexy as she is now. So it's really the inner beauty that counts cuz that's the only thing that lasts.
I'm just worried that if u keep on searching for thus perfect woman that u will never stop searching. Perfection doesn't exist on thus earth. Just b careful with how precise u r with ur search or u could very easily end up never finding anyone
You have totally UNREALISTIC criterias. You want a perfect looking woman who has a perfect personality who's a virgin too with your insane standards. First of all she will be almost impossible to find and then she needs to like you back as well, im sorry to break it to you but that's an impossible mission. You're already in your late 20's still virgin and still looking for your miss perfect im sorry honey but the clocks ticking you don't have forever, if you keep looking for her you'll just end up and die alone. Maybe if you drop your crazy criterias and standards and let people in you'll maybe find yourself fall for an amazing girl that wasn't maybe the girl in your description but still a desirable person and woman.
Also you may find this a cliche but a beautiful personality makes someone beautiful. If i was to describe my dream man he would probably look something like ryan gosling, but if you'd look at all the men i've been dating and been head over HEELS in love with they have been NOTHING like my perfect ideal dream man, far from to be honest. But they were more perfect than my dream man because they are real and my feelings for them were real. Seriously you should start letting people in and get to know them more and not be so shallow.
@Asker Not all guys go all out on the physical part. Most would not say my girlfriend is pretty because she is a bbw but I love how she looks. There is more to her because I got to know her as a person. She had to like me also or it would not have worked out. What I am saying is because if someone comes along that meets your criteria does not mean you will like them and they will like you.
So what if men tend to be a little bit more shallow than women, that doesn't mean they are all shallow to your extent? You're not just a bit shallow you're being unrealistic, see the difference? I saw further down that you said that you'd date girls that aren't perfect, but now you want to get married so you think it's right that she should be this perfect. Are you kidding me? The woman you marry will be the woman you love SO much that you want to live by her side forever, have kids with her and die by her side, share everything with. How can you find someone like that if you're just gonna be insanely shallow? You're gonna chase after someone's pretty ass and put a ring on her finger, but she won't be the girl that will make you genuinely smile every morning you wake up next to her because that's the average pretty girl you just rejected over someone you probably have nothing in common with. And with this said I'm so out of this stupid conversation...
I value love mostly and see beauty as a bonus, Im a chancer by nature and willing to keep searching a while longer for my girl. Im willing to compromise on the virginity and if she is fit the fitness part we could work on together by her joining me in the gym, but face I can't fix by exercise so she would have to have a pretty face to begin with.
Your standards are... shallow. Lol. You recognize it yourself but you don't really understand that you're setting yourself up for disappointment. It seems like you have VERY little experience with women, since you've been so picky in the past. I feel like you're missing out on experiencing something real, because you're so focused on something superficial. When your dream girl becomes old and less attractive, you are just going to look for the next great thing, and never feel fulfilled. And thus, always feel empty and in the end you would have wasted a lot of time.
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Asker
+1 y
I know looks fade and what Im left with is her [personality but what people in this thread dont want to understand is that I want to enjoy a temporary bliss with her good looks whilst it last!
So you're looking for a casual sex partner. Good luck buddy. A girl who is often really pretty holds a higher standard than probably do. Goodluck once again because you're going to remain single for a long time. You've rejected a few women in the past, but none of those women who have approached you have ever met your standards because those women are out of your league and are chasing better looking guys.
Your wants for personality aren't unreasonable. Most people want that.
Athletic, tall, gorgeous brunette? Eh... even if you're a stud muffin that isn't very likely to happen. Probably a small minority of the female population is athletic, tall, and gorgeous all at the same time. I would suggest looking for your personality wants the most and probably shooting for more "average" women. Why? "Average" women make up a HUGE amount of the female population, and chances are at least some of them will have what you want in looks. even if it's just a thing or two.
And? So is pretty much everyone else. You're looking for the best woman you can find to get married to--and women are looking for the best men they can find. If you want to marry a woman that 90% of guys want, then you've got to be better than 90% of guys, because that's what her potential dating pool looks like.
Did you just not fancy anyone you went on a date with? Because if you didn't then its fine to go for this ideal woman you have in your head... but if you are rejecting women even though you are attracted to them just because they aren't an 8/10... that's would just be silly and vain. Also, assuming you are saving your virginity due to your faith, doesn't the big man up stairs tell us that ultimately it is the soul that matters.
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Asker
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Her personality matters the most to me but I want the added bonus if someone beautiful in reality Im surprised by the girls answers here these girls I picked as an example aren't they most beautiful I could think. of I thought them to be more like 8's and9's /10/lol not solid 10
I would have put them at 9's too but I guess it depends on taste. But I mean, have you never fancied a 7? I mean its all very well being like 'I want a 9' but if you go on a date with a 6 or 7, their personality could bring them up to an 8 or 9 don't you think. When you like someone they start to look even better I think because you have 'like-goggles' on. I don't know, it just seems like you might be missing out on a person who is better for you by limiting yourself to 'must have this'. I think you should just scrap it completely and go out with anyone 6 or above. I mean, the 8's and 9s in your picture aren't gonna look like that for ever, they might have kids or even just the passing of time everything sags so just find someone with a nice face that takes care of themself is probably your best bet.
Yeh, a couple of points can make all the difference though. I mean I put myself at a 6.5 on a good day looks wise so I probably would be looking to date a 5.5-7.5. I don't shoot too outa my league but I'll consider under it because I know a good personality could bring them up a point easily.
TBH I don`t believe in leagues I like what I like and most times I get reciprocation from the person I fancy, its been shown scientifically people that look similar go for each other, but i don`t box my self in a number
Ditto. Am just using numbers because u were there and it makes things easier to explain. But yeah people tend to go for a similar level of attractiveness. Tbh I feel even if I was a 10 I would still consider a 5.5> tho.
Dude you need to date more women before you set standards. Like standards are good and all but how do you know what you want when you never had what you don't want. I use to be all into rodeo men and said I'd never date otherwise, until I dated a few. Now that is definitely not the case. Standards are good, but set them by experience, not fantasies.
Honestly, if you don't want to settle, dont! You can find a girl that meets all that you're looking for, you just have to be patient. I suggest you don't compare the vast majority, to the minimum amount of girls that can pass as supermodels. You'll only disappoint yourself, because it's not everyday you see a Miranda Kirr walking around. Maybe find the major components that you cannot settle for at all and pick out the less important things, things people can't really help about themselves, keeping them in the back of your mind, but not forgetting about them I. e. Perfect teeth, a really nice nose etc.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Those girls look like models. A pretty brunette should be possible to find, but girls that look just like those are few and far between. It's nothing against you, they just aren't very common.
If you like sporty girls, try hanging out where they hang out. Are you in America? If so, 5Ks & marathons, crossfit and yoga are all really popular right now.
No, your standards are just fine, this is what I'm looking for: -Catholic (most important) -Good relationship with mother/sister -Loves kids -Loves animals -University degree -Nice body I don't plan to accept less than this...
Here's something to consider: if you refuse to date anyone other than your ideal woman, how will you know HOW to date or be boyfriend/husband material when she finally does come along? A girl like that isn't going to want to be with a guy who has zero experience in the dating department.
I like that... but a girl can date and still remain a virgin. I didn't say either of you had to have experience in the bedroom. But getting married is like running a long distance triathalon. If you train and warm up a little beforehand, it will help immensely. That's all I am saying. Because when you do find her, you're going to want to have all the tools you need to win her over. Just... be ready. That way you won't miss the opportunity when it presents itself.
That girl is a 9.9 out of 10 and if you are not a millionaire you will not have a good chance with her.
Also just because you think you look good does not mean other girls think you look good. How a girl perceives hotness is different from how a guy perceives hotness.
If you make less than $120 000 DONT BOTHER!!!
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Asker
+1 y
I thought they were like 9 and 8 /10 I could think of. more. beautiful girls but that would be pushing it so included these
Its one thing to have a type, and another to only consider those who meet all your criteria. You shouldn't ever date someone you aren't attracted to or someone you don't like, but it seems that if a girl isn't a leggy tan fit gorgeous brunette you won't give her any consideration at all, and that's not gonna get you anywhere. I'm sure there's blondes and redheads and pale girls you can be attracted to, but you're focusing on your "type" so much that it might be a fetish.
Well... most people date bc they want to marry one day. You can't meet a girl and marry her next week. You date first. Regardless, what I'm saying is that hair color doesn't mean that much. I also like darker hair but I've found plenty of light haired guys attractive.
I agree with what @MargaritaPeach has said I also think that you must be on the same level as this girl, and someone that looks like that has probably already dated or is a non virgin so they would have experience (this is just what I see though)
You can keep your standards if you want to, or if you feel like you can't change them. Just realize it's going to find someone if you make your tastes too specific, especially as you get older. There's still a chance, especially if you look good yourself (if you're picking girls based off of their looks, just realize they're probably going to do the same to you.) Good luck dude.
If you're mainly going for looks, you're setting your self up for a heartbreak. You'll feel like you wasted your time trying to hold up your morals/standards.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
If you don't want to lower standards then fine. But if you're having problems attracting gorgeous women you may not be as good looking as you think you are. It's one thing if you think of yourself is good looking and there's nothing wrong with that but it doesn't make others think the same thing when they see you.
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Asker
+1 y
I have attracted those type of women before but they weren't marriage material
Yep, your standards are way too high, you won't find a girl that looks like that, fits that personality AND on top of that, actually is attracted to you as well.
Also, you really think everyone's first love lasts forever? Majority of people will never experience that, they'll break up, find someone new and even then it might not work out. You've set yourself impossible standards without even having any experience in dating at all.
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