Why do people get married so soon after getting engaged?

I've never understood this. It seems generally frowned upon to be engaged for any longer than a year or so. Basically once you get engaged, you have to start planning right away so you can put this whole shindig together. Why is that such a big deal? What if someone wants the promise of an engagement but they can't afford the wedding right away?


0|0
7|3

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've never heard of it being frowned upon. My sister and her fiancé have been engaged since I was like 9. And they aren't planning their wedding anytime soon

    1|0
    0|0
    • That's just kind of what I've noticed among the people around me getting engaged and married. I just don't get the rush haha

    • Show All
    • She's 22 and I'm not sure how old her fiancé is

    • So still fairly young. So interesting.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's about the marriage, not the wedding!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Then why are there so many expectations about how weddings should be? Haha I personally find the whole system to be ridiculous. I don't understand so much of it.

    • Show All
    • Nope! Rejecting consumerism is becoming truly radical, though. Even with the feelings I have against it, I feel myself getting sucked it because it gets in your brain and triggers impulse. It takes work to avoid.

    • Yeah, we've been trained our whole lives to buy into that sort of thing. Naturally it's going to take a lot of work to re-wire our brains. I'm sure it's worth it though!

What Guys Said 2

  • Weddings don't have to cost

    1|0
    0|0
  • Why does the wedding have to be so expensive?

    1|1
    0|0
    • I guess I just assumed they're expensive, I really have no idea how much weddings cost. But you have to buy the dress, rent the suit, rent out the location (depending on whether or not you're doing it in a church), buy the cake, buy the catering, hire a DJ or musicians. There's a lot of stuff involved if you want the average wedding experience. I do realize, though, that you can do much smaller things where the wedding is at a house and the food is homemade and you wear a hand-me-down dress and things like that.

    • Show All
    • Same, I'm not planning on getting married. I was just curious because I saw some other people posting about marriages.

    • Yes Yes I want to spend www.gamesparks.com/.../100-billion.jpg
      for my wedding

What Girls Said 6

  • I think if two people really want to start something, a quick engagement is not bad. I married my husband after 3 months of being engaged. I know a couple who is engaged for 7 years, they are saving up money for a big wedding and honeymoon.
    What is the difference between them and us?
    We were in a long distance relationship, him overseas and me in the states. We were not physically together.
    The other couple are in the same town, they are pretty much together with each other except marriage.
    Big difference.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it's not bad to hurry, or to wait. What would be bad would be breaking this deal. Other than that, all good, time doesn't matter, you made the deal, right? the wedding is going to happen sooner or later

    1|0
    0|0
  • I know loads of people who have been engaged for years. But, if they CAN afford the wedding then whats the point in being engaged for longer than necessary, being engaged IS about getting married after all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because why be engaged just to be engaged. People these days just get engaged and stay engaged a lot, when you're supposed to be "engaged to be married" like there's no point getting engaged really if you're not getting married for years and years, you've just done it to say fiancé.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I guess to me, engagement and marriage are basically the same thing, except one doesn't involve legal documents and such. Engagement is basically a promise to get married, which is a promise to stay together forever, so engagement is pretty much also a promise to stay together forever. That's why I don't see the reason why you should rush through the engagement, because once you're engaged you're promising your commitment anyway.

    • See, that sounds just like a promise ring to me haha. I don't know, everybody just thinks differently I think. And i guess it might also be to do with my background, like everybody in my family gets married and wasn't engaged for too long, my parents married 41 years now, and I think only 1 family member had a kid when they weren't married. I guess it's just because it's what I'm used to.

  • My now fiance gave me a promise ring first and I had that for a year. He proposed in August and we're getting married in July. I feel like we've been engaged in our hearts but I never started planning our wedding until we were officially engaged

    0|0
    0|0
  • The thing with dragged out engagements is that they kinda miss the point. You tend to get engaged cause you want to get married. So if you wait years and years it defeats the purpose of why you got engaged in the first place. That's just how I understand it.

    2|0
    0|0
    • I feel like if people are in a long term relationship, they see a future with each other. So what is the difference between a couple that have been together 15 years, and another couple that have been together 15 years and engaged, say 8 of those years? Its the same thing. I agree, long engagements can often be a bit pointless and are the same as a normal relationship.

Loading...