"Men become ATM machines once they are married"--do you agree with this saying? Why?

  • Yes, I agree.
    18% (21)65% (107)46% (128)Vote
  • No, I don't.
    82% (95)35% (57)54% (152)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Thanks for casting your vote upstairs.
I posted this question because I sometimes overhear women telling their children to postpone buying certain items and return to the stores another day with their daddies because then their daddies would pay for those items.
Wow, didn't expect so many answers. Thanks, everybody!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i voted no.

    more women are breadwinners in families today than are men. and they still clean and take care of kids,.

    as for guys who have maids for wives. maids cost money as do nannies. if you had to hire someone its cost more.

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    • when a woman or man is working from home cleaning and raising kids, they are providing as much as the person outside the home. without them the lifestyle weirdly not be sustainable. house parenting is a thankless job,.

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    • :- ) Very rational answer. I agree with @Unhappy_Sock 's answer too.

    • Thanks:)

What Guys Said 50

  • Voted B. Women these days are capable of earning and paying for themselves, and don't really need a man for that. If someone is doing this, then she's just a gold digger.

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    • I wonder why men still pay for the first date then?

    • @alfonsosloan45

      Not really. It's like the one who asks the other out, pays for that date. Since it's usually men who ask women out, they eventually end up paying for the first date. Nothing more to it, really.

      In my cases though, both my exes asked me out themselves so they paid for the first dates. After that, we just took turns.

  • Haha, well, kind of. I'm not actually married but we've lived together longer than many people have gone through the whole process of meeting, dating, getting engaged, getting married, maybe having children, and getting divorced, so I'd say we count. I can feel like an ATM machine at times, haha. She makes some money too but I'm the definite breadwinner, and I feel like I'm always just giving her money for this or that, haha. That Al Bundy swag...
    http://youtu.be/KAKaJE4gjYg

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    • Thanks for sharing your story :- )

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    • It's not really gender specific, then, is it? It's really all about who is the "breadwinner". The person who has the most money will most likely be the one paying!

    • @mekkalyn exactly. I've been Al Bundy AND Jefferson D'Arcy at times, haha. (You're probably too young for the Married With Children reference there😜)

  • That's proof these men made a poor choice.

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    • @VampireEmpree Yeah. And thanks for your participation :- )

    • @VampireEmpress

  • I suppose some men do , those that become putty whooped and spineless.

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    • How can a woman respect a man that just gives in and hands over a hand full of money just cuz she asked for it. If she can justify the need I'm good with that , but just to spend it frivolously ummmm no

  • Sometimes, yes, once you are a parent, that becomes the major role of a father, but these roles are breaking down and more dads are spending actual TIME with their kids, not just buying them things.

    Of course, it's still often the case that women raise the kids and dads just provide money.

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  • Ah Pingju AGAIN - 'thanks for casting your vote upstairs' :D

    1. Ok I vote 'A'
    2. What does a man earn for if not for his family and his responsibilities / those he loves and cares for
    3. When with me my daughter never needed to ask her mom anything to get postponed or hearing a no. She had to just tell me and pronto she'd have it.
    4. Likewise leave alone refusing money to my wife, I never asked her why she needed the money for or debate it with her. Yes there are times I'd deliberate just because I believe in brands and she didn't.

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    • by the way I had the same problem with Pingju. I followed her cause I liked her questions but she didn't follow me so I couldn't message her ha ha + she had a dog on her profile pic, you have similar ;)

    • Pingju's dog exploded ; (

      I have similar? O_o Are you sure? I thought my avatar is my favourite stray cat which was sleeping soundly on the ground in my neighbourhood? I love her and so took this picture of her with my phone :-D

    • A lot of similarities dear girl which is why I asked :D didn't mean to compare you :)

      Thank you for the up vote :D

  • Hahaha
    cdn.diply.com/.../...ea-4bcb-a706-f6083418bd1a.jpg

    I disagree though. When you're married, the money is both the man's and the woman's, it's shred. "What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine", that's what marriage is supposed to be.
    I would agree with that statement if the man is the one working all day and the woman does nothing but spend the money, but it's not usually what happens.
    I know for sure that I will never be an ATM, I'm not letting any girl use me for my money.

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  • This is on my wife's horse trailer.
    http://horseloversgifts.com/productimages/1854.jpg

    Of course, it's true. This is why divorced women find it hard to get remarried. Men will do anything to get laid when they are young, but then we learn... Once sex has less importance in our lives, we recognize the wallet succubus that a woman can be so, if we are single, we know not to get married again.

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  • Well, I am not sure but in some cases yes it can true. Plus if men make wrong decision in choosing the right woman they want in their life then it can happen like that. It's a possibility yes.

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  • You just need to forget about traditional gender roles it's about 2016. Both parties should work and pool their money if that's something they decide to do.

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  • I thought us men became babies after we were married.

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  • I don't even want to think about what crack she'll slide that ATM card through.

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  • Not at all, if you're in a relationship like that, you're not with the right person. that being said, even if you're with the right person, your soulmate may not have a job or one that pay's lower that yours does, so really, this stems back to the male role of provider.

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  • Hell no. I'm not going to be anyone's ATM machine. We can help each other out and shit but I like to have an equal partnership.

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  • still happens often, just not as often as it did 10 years ago

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    • I posted this question because I sometimes overhear women telling their children to postpone buying certain items and return to the stores another day with their daddies because then their daddies would pay for those items.

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    • Oh, really? :O May I know how you feel about it? Thanks.

    • Well im not a fan of it, but that's just the way things have been and will likely continue to be... especially going forward with where the U. S. and world economies are headed. It's not a pretty picture

  • No. Just be careful who you marry and under what circumstances you do so (goes for everyone). I think a lot of this sentiment is due to people marrying too soon and not knowing what each other is looking for in a marriage (frequently due to unplanned children).

    Oftentimes men are indeed seen as the providers of money and women are seen as the providers of home and childcare, but it doesn't have to be that way if you manage your relationships smartly.

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  • So in your vision the man hordes the money in the bank and the woman has no access? Is it the 1950's where you live?

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    • Haha, it depends on how you interpret my question :-D

    • The women that I mentioned in my update all have full time jobs and yet. . .

    • That isn't what I said. Women worked back then also. but then she handed over her check to the man and he dealt with it. Nowadays, it is direct deposit can everyone has debit cards. I was married 25 years. she had access to the money equal to me. I never asked what or why she bought or spent money on. I just needed to know the amount to enter into the computer.

  • It shouldn't be but this is fairly typically true. Even the home becomes all feminine with the man's "area" hidden away in the basement or garage.

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  • Generally the husband pays re mortgage, light bills, cell phone bills, food, kid's education etc. I don't agree with it but it's reality. Women look for financial and stable guys to settle down with for a reason.

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  • No you become a cash machine when your kids get old enough. All you ever hear is daaaaaaaad can you give me money for...

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  • Women do expect a man to provide for them. Most women, even today. And a man knows that appearing stingy is a negative point in her mind so (sniff), good bye money...(sniff)

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  • Women find 80% of guys not attractive, while remaining 20% who are seen as attractive, are common for all girls. Mathematically it's impossible for every woman to get a man, who is attractive. There is no other option as marrying such guy, but at least let there be some benefits - money, wealth, someone to rise kids. Average man is very likely to end as provider.

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  • Voted yes I know of several women that don't earn and depend enterily on their husbands money whenever they need cash they go to him that's on top of their personal allowance set aside for them

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    • And I know several men that stay at home by themselves or with the kids while the wife works. Idiot.

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    • And most women don't u twat

    • @yowza67b
      "A straw man is a common form of argument and is an informal fallacy based on giving the impression of refuting an opponent's argument, while actually refuting an argument which was not advanced by that opponent"
      I1m done I won't reply to you!!!

  • Not always but if and when their have children then yes

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  • I don't see the comparison.

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  • In case of irresponsible wives, they do. Not always.

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  • i was married 22 years, never saw this

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    • I posted this question because I sometimes overhear women telling their children to postpone buying certain items and return to the stores another day with their daddies because then their daddies would pay for those items.

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    • but does it matter if everything is shared, if the woman is the one deciding everything?

    • or vice versa for traditional men... I just think it depends on how sharing is defined, especially if one partner is really dependent.

  • not just marriage. even dating and bf/gf situations

    if the man doesn't have enough money, the relatiosnhip will end 95 percent of the time, if the girl doesn't have enough money, the men will help out with her resources.

    womens income is seen as her allowance while the mans income is seen as a necessity for him to even have a girlfriend or family.

    women are bought, i just think hookers are cheaper and more honest. you just can't have a child with.

    i use to beleive in love and the fantasy of all this. but i dated and saw the fall of men.

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  • Only after marriage?

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  • Of course women would say no.

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What Girls Said 37

  • i call bullshit~ if a man is relegated to atm status after marriage, it's because he made some bad life choices.

    my man and i have been together for a year; i work full-time, and he looks after his elderly parents while putting in a couple hours per week at his part-time job.

    (he also drives me to and from work, takes care of the house, and always has supper ready when i get home. yes, i pay for most things, but i'm rather spoiled to have him at home~ i call him my hardworking house-husband, lol.)

    when i got laid off last year, and he was still working full-time, he made sure we had food on the table and i kept the house clean; it's not called being an atm; it's called supporting the person you love.

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    • :- ) Thanks for sharing. May I know how old are his elderly parents?

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    • watch the movie don jon and remember what you just wrote

    • @alfonsosloan45 will keep that in mind, lol.

  • I think that's a very old-fashioned way of thinking. Everyone should pull their own weight in the relationship. I don't agree with one party not working, mainly because it's not a financially stable arrangement in this day and age.

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    • Let's say it is financially stable to do that. I would still want my wife working. If I was a stay at home dad I would be called lazy.

    • @alfonsosloan45 "everyone should pull their own weight in the relationship"

  • I disagree. The thing is, men have typically made more than women have in the past. And I think sometimes guys feel as though they are paying for more stuff.

    If their wife, whom they chose to marry, makes significantly less than they do, then of course he will be paying for more. When people get married, their lives are joined together. If their kids need new shoes for school, mom and dad have to take their combined budget and finances and buy those shoes.

    Sometimes combining lives means one person who makes more is going to be burdening more of the expenses. But that doesn't mean they are ultimately going to be paying for everything while their spouse pays for nothing. It's supposed to be an arrangement. Some people do have arrangements where the wife stays home and the husband works. But I've seen the opposite sometimes too, where the wife is the breadwinner and the husband stays home.

    It comes down to choices. No one has to get married. And when someone is looking for a partner, they have to choose wisely. If someone is being treated like a walking ATM machine, then it's partly their fault for the choice as well as allowing their partner to do this.

    The thing is, people need to take responsibility for their choices. If a woman is using a guy for his money, he needs to put his foot down and stop giving her money. If she leaves, then she isn't really in love with him anyway and he is better off.

    When I hear about people being used for money. I ultimately think they choose poorly when it came to choosing a partner.

    Also, people can always say no and stop behaviour from happening even if it's been going on for a while. Stop having a joint bank account, stop giving her the ATM card, change the pin, make a budget, and have a plan. Don't just allow someone to have complete access to financial information and finances if they are just blowing the money.

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  • i think that is how it used to be, for the most part. men were the providers, women were the home-makers and child-rearers. each had their role to play. one could argue women become babysitters once they are married. that is how it used to be.

    some people still believe/follow in that convention. i do not. i do not want to rely on anyone to support me. i want to be able to support my family by myself if my husband turns out to be a complete dud and i have to trash him.

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    • Every woman willing to have a mans baby deserves to have him there supporting them both financially now if she takes advantage of him thats a different story.

    • @MrTexan37 or unless she has to kick him out because he refuses to be responsible about anything. the only problem with that, is that lots of those deadbeats need to be dragged out because they know they can't support themselves all alone. so I agree with karahiri it's a really good idea to be self sustaining before having kids.

  • LOL! it depends on the guy honestly. some guys view themselves this way and think their families do. others understand that they decided to take on the married life for many reasons, and one of them was to provide.

    no guy in his right mind is gonna get married if he isn't aware of what he's getting himself into.

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  • When a woman stays home and cares for the children then her only source of income may be from her husband, and why shouldn't it? How money is the families money, same as here is. That's the way I see it anyway.

    Yes moms may wait to get extra cash from the dad. Do you think moms should support the child on their own money? Where does that come from if she can't work?

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  • A woman should not use her husbands money to buy herself things.
    But just because some of the man's money is going out to buy household items, groceries, to pay bills, etc that doesn't make him an atm. Someone is going to be making more than the other, the one making more would be paying for a higher percentage of the split bills.

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  • No. I think everyone should be pulling their own weight, even in marriage (unless it's traditional and one stays at home and there's only one provider). I could never leech off of someone, I'd feel extremely bad and guilty. I also love being independent and paying for my own shit. It feels like I've actually earned it.

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  • It's actually quite the contrary. Most people in relationships, especially legally binding ones, realize that their SO's money is now also their money. This usually means that they would be more conscientious of their spendings, so that they can buy a house, car, etc. I guess I'm sort of biased, since this is how my parents are, and I'm sure that there are some exceptions. It all depends on your income.

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  • This poll is so dividing. No, all men don't become ATM machines after marriage. Some women, and this may be a crazy idea, have higher paying or equal paying jobs as their husbands. Yes, some men like paying for stuff. But this isn't true for all relationships. It's sometimes.
    A woman who expects her husband to pay everything, probably can't provide for the life she wants to live or acts helpless and can't get off her butt to buy those things or she's a housewife-then her only choice is to have her husband provide for most of the expensive stuff.

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  • Are u trying to start yet another uproar among the sexes? This question has been posted enough.

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    • Oh really? Apologies, I haven't seen any :(

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    • I see. Thanks for the info.

    • No problem

  • It depends completely on the individual couple and what each person's financial situation is, and what the couple agreed on.

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  • As much as it probably still occurs, it wouldn't apply to me so i voted no.

    Currently i earn more than my boyfriend and i've been brought up to be independent nothing feels better than doing things equally. I would feel incapacitated if i got married and he paid for nearly everything : /

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  • In the beginning of time, when it was cold and icy and women had no say in anything, there was just this common thing that women would nog work, not earn moneyz and just stay at home. Then some time passed and society accepted women and gay men, lesbian women and all other kinds of gender sexual thingy's. Then people wanted children but with two working parents, babies can not live. So mommy stays home because for once she earns less than the man and second mothers. Moms are great. Now I think you have to come to terms when you decide to live together, spent your life together or whatever. Will both work? Will one provide for the other? There are also lots of stay at home dads! When you don't want/have kids, just figure out what one will pay. I think it's natural for the one who earns more money, will pay more. Not all of it, just more. It just depends on the couple. Okay bye. love and peace for alle. The end.

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  • I don't agree. If they marry a gold digger, sure lol if they don't, they don't have this problem.

    Some women out there like me dream with bringing food to the table and buying lot of stuff for her, her partner and kids.

    Not all women want to clean the house, cook and wait for money. That's like my worst nightmare.

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  • Its easy to see the signs of a gold digger before marrying the person. They are materialistic and money hungry before marriage. If you end up marrying someone like that then that is their issue.

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  • I think it's more when they have kids that men may become similar to an ATM. I just know that I am/ was a daddy's girl so if I ever needed money, it would be my dad I would go to. He always expected me to pay him back, but sometimes he would forget or let it slide.

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  • Life is to share. I believe everyone in the family need to contribute; less or more. I think the point is helping each other. Not just expecting everything from them.

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  • No I don't agree with it. I plan on earning an income while I'm married just like he will. Our incomes will be put together to make our lives comfortable.

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  • The majority of households in America have multiple incomes. If any wife wanted to be that way, she could simply NOT work.

    I'm not saying that there aren't two income households where the wife is as such, but I don't believe it's like that majorly.

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  • Only the stupid weak ones fall for that trap

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  • Only if the girl is a gold-digger who didnot love him in the first place!

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  • How is that possible I made more then my last 2 boyfriends.

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  • Some women work in the relationship too.

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  • My dad uses my mom as an ATM. He hasn't had a job since 2008 and takes half if not more of my moms paycheck every week

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    • yep. lots of guys are doing this now to women. that's why I don't get why guys on this site complain so much. it's not extremely taboo anymore for guys to not be providers. I see househusbands instead of moms all the time.

    • @VampireEmpress thank you!!! I rarely see wives digging in husband's pockets. I only see this in trashy reality shows. With many women working in today's time, I've seen a lot of men get comfortable and ask woman for money.

  • If he wants me to hold his dick, he better have me hold his wallet as well.

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  • No, because I like making my own money even when I'm in a relationship.

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  • Only if the guy marries a gold digger.

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  • that can totally be true. whether the guy is the breadwinner other not, these days it's usually the woman who controls all the financial things or has the final say on spending. unless it's a really traditional marriage where the guy handles everything himself, and she has no idea on where the $ goes or what bills there are.

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  • True for some women, false for most.

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