Why do people think I'm being irrational and immature towards marriage?

My family thinks the way my fiance and I are handling our relationship is immature and irrational. I've wanted to be married for awhile now and so has my fiance. We are in our mid twenties. We are madly in love and he is my first serious relationship. He proposed to me a little less than 4 months of knowing each other and we are getting married on our 9 month anniversary. We are so in love and wanted to get married sooner but agreed to wait. We met on an online dating site and were a 100% match. I believe that's a really good sign and helps guarantee us. I don't understand why people think marriage is hard. I honestly don't think my fiance and I will have any issues. We haven't fought once and we love everything about each other. Why isn't my family supportive about this?

Updates:
We're also Christians and met on a Christian online site. We were meant for each other

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mind telling us how old you are? Either way I think not only you two are immature and irrational but I also think you are dumb. I mean you have only know each other for 9 months, how well can you really know someone in that amount of time. Also the fact that you haven't fought once and thinking about getting married is insane. Best of luck to you on getting married and I hope it works out for you. But my guess is that you two will be divorced within the first 2 year.

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    • We're 24. And we've been together for 7 months. Marrying in two. And why shouldn't we get married if we are in love?

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    • You sound like your just in love with the idea of love.

    • @Solstice88 YES!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oooh boy! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE'S OPINION, WHY DID YOU ASK FOR IT? For fucks sake, you keep dismissing everyone else's opinion & advice. You make yourself look like a naive little girl. If you want to pretend you're all grown up, pretend nothing is perfect! You can love him all you want, but he's not pooping gold nuggets! You haven't even had an argument? So you have no idea what he'll be like when you DO argue, because you WILL argue. It's highly recommended for couples to decide on permanent decisions at LEAST 3 years into relationships. It gives you time to "settle in", find out how you are after the sparks have smoked out & you're waking up with matted hair, smelly breath & grumpy faces.
    Take a deep breath. Rationalize your thoughts. Get off your high horse. Not getting married doesn't mean you hate each other. He's your FIRST "serious" relationship. So learn this- it takes more than just love to hold a home together. Rethink this whole thing. If you're madly in love, the love will still be there in years' time. With some glue & stitches to hold it together after a few adjustments have come & gone. Discuss your futures you want. EVERYTHING. Kids, kid's names, house location/s, education, jobs, death wishes, everything you can think of. Politics, how dedicated you are to things, etc.. Religion & dating sights can't guarantee anything. Don't be a little girl in big girl pants, because they won't fit. If you didn't need to hear what anyone else said, you wouldn't be here. There's a reason for some advice- for you to take it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • it's not immiture so much as it is stupid. for 1, usually weddings take place about a year after the proposal. 2nd, usually you save 2 months worth of savings to buy a ring, meaning that the dude started saving up midway between dating you and proposing. 3rd, y'all barely know each other, although i've heard about people proposing after 6 months and it working out. y'all met online...

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  • I wouldn't say you're being immature and irrational but I would say you're trying to push it to happen too fast you probably should wait until at least the two year mark so you really know each other and know that the relationship will last you're sort of in the honeymoon stage where everything seems to be perfect and the sun shines out of his ass figuratively speaking

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  • "We're different. Our love is real and true. "

    Yeah... "Why do people think I'm being irrational and immature towards marriage? " Just answered your question there.

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  • People are delusional. Because Marriage is hard for them, they think it will be hard for others too. I suggest you see videos by "Mark Gungor" on Marriage. It sure will keep you together longer.

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  • So what's their issue? I was looking for some details?

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  • I thnk u r not intresting to produce baby

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  • You're going too fast. Sure the relationship may be fine now, but after living with another person for a year or more you may find out you aren't in love as much as you thought, and you may end up hating each other.

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What Girls Said 9

  • on one hand, i can understand where you're coming from; my future husband and i almost met online and we just celebrated our 1-year anniversary, though we've been madly in love from day one; the difference is that we're older (he's 31 and i'll be 29 next month) and that we're waiting until around the 2-year mark before getting married.

    while not irrational per se, i do think that you guys are rushing into things, and @LeoLionEye is exactly right~ at this point, you barely know each other; you can't possibly know everything about someone in such a short timespan, and that's likely why your family isn't supportive.

    as much as i do hope that it all works out, odds are it won't~ a good wedding and a good marriage are not the same thing, and i hope you're prepared for what lies ahead.

    good luck~

    -von

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  • Because you’re talking about marrying someone you’ve only know a few months? Every relationship has a honeymoon phase where there’s no argument and everything is totally perfect, it usually doesn’t last. Also, although im sure he is fine-narcissists (like one in 6 people I’d guess) who are usually really charming and loving in the beginning, can take a while to show their true colours. It’s the same with psychopaths. And, why rush into a marriage? If you love each other then surely you owe it to one another to go through some life experiences together before rushing into that, you know, to see that you cope well together in tough times as well as easy ones. I’d at least wait 18 months :/

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    • We aren't just talking. We have a date and everythings set

    • I know, that's what it meant. Seriously honey, even by your relpies on these posts you come across as really young. I'd actually go as far as to say that you are making a mistake getting married. And I don't actually know you, your family does and they say the same thing. Just because you have wanted to get married since you were twenty doesn't mean you should marry the first guy that comes along that you like. You know what god would say? He'd say marriage is sacred and should not be entered into lightly, that you should actually know the person you are marrying before going ahead with something that ties you to them for life. And NO-ONE KNOWS ANYONE truly after just a few months. Wake up and smell the coffee.

  • Well you haven't fought once? So be prepared that if and when that day comes its going to be an extremely rough patch, but hopefully you will work it out. Your family isn't supportive about it because 9months isn't really that long at all, you will not be able to know all of them in a span on 9 months, you will always learn something new, even 3 years into a relationship your learn something new, but thats what relationships are about learning about each other.

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    • If we haven't fought now we won't fight later. I think my siblings are just jealous because their fianc├ęs have taken longer to get married. We knew we wanted to from day one

    • Trust me you probably will fight, after all you've only known him for 7 months. Fighting and arguing isn't bad.. I wouldn't say your siblings are jealous because not everyone wants to be married that quickly, even after 3 years of dating my boyfriend I was in no way shape or form ready to be married.

  • There is NO way to guarantee a relationship will last. The only way to guarantee it is to promise yourself that no matter what happens you will make it work, because no marriage is perfect. Let's me honest, your love will wax and wane. The success of marriage doesn't depend on "love" it depends on commitment.

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    • But we are madly in love. As long as we love each other we'll be fine I think.

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    • There is no worst side of him. He's perfect

    • No... no offence but the more you say on the subject the more I am sure you have a lot of growing up to do. No one is perfect and the best relationships are not perfect.

  • They love you and just worried about your well being.

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  • Because it's a time consuming energy eating effort stealing constitution where you legally bound yourself to someone. People aren't simple creatures, healthy marriages take lots of work to maintain and many people don't realize that when they jump so quickly into it.

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  • because you met him online.

    but fuck them , if he's your happiness go for it

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  • Your family is only worried about you I think.

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  • You're also most likely still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship.

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    • I have to disagree. I've never felt this way before about anyone and I will always feel this way towards him. He's my soul mate.

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    • People are just jealous because we are so in love and realized we wanted to get married sooner than them

    • Oh yeah, I'm totally sure that's it. Or they have more sense than to rush things.

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