Would you rather have a spouse who works full time or a stay at home spouse?

Would you want someone who works or stays at home and takes care of the kids?

  • Stay at home spouse
    14% (23)46% (46)26% (69)Vote
  • Working spouse
    86% (147)54% (53)74% (200)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, so I understand the stay-at-home thing, but I don't understand how people don't do other things WHILE they stay at home.

    I only stayed home about 1 month for each kid (3 kids). And even though these were new babies I was still like "fuck that" and did some telecommuting work. And the third time I got my old dusty walking-foot machine out, and made 3 diaper bags.

    And that was for just 1 month each time.
    With new babies (= basically zero continuous sleep).

    So yeah, what? I literally CANNOT IMAGINE what would possess someone to be a stay-at-home once the kids are at school all day. WHAT WOULD I DO ALL DAY GAAAAAAAA OMG.
    I mean, okay, I'm the girl with raging ADHD, but I just do not understand how some people can do so much NOTHING. I cannot do nothing. I can't do nothing even for 5 minutes, unless I'm asleep.

    What do stay-at-homes DO all day long?

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    • What do stay-at-homes DO all day long?

      -Hmm sounds like another interesting question to be asked here.

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    • #readymindtricks

      do you 'clean' at all?

      I've never been a mom but I've take care of sick people and between caring for several people and making sure everything is clean takes A LOT of work -- im very restless active and energetic i dont waste time, it still takes all day... if all you could find to do is balance meals and make bags maybe you live in a small place or have a maid.

    • @Azara Yea I clean things, but not, like, OCD level of clean. Acceptable level of clean.

      Our standard is, "clean enough so we don't have to run around at the last minute if someone is coming over".

      The secret, really, is cleaning up most of the messes as soon as they happen. I've found cleaning only becomes a chore if you let it accumulate.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Working of course. Any man who supports a woman these days is asking to be ass raped in court and forced to become an indentured servant to her for the rest of his life.

    Also you want to be with another adult and adults support them selves.

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What Girls Said 45

  • A working spouse.
    I wanna stay home and take care of kids 😛

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  • Working spouse, I'm traditional, I will work as-well, but if one of has to take a break to take care of the Kids, I will, I'm the Momma

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    • You sound pretty sure about that, what does dad say?

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    • I love ur replaying & agree with you 100%

    • @Universehateme thank you 😊❤️

  • I think this question really depends on the type of woman you are asking. Some women are career driven, some are family driven, some are both.

    So you will receive different responses from different women. I personally want to have a career and grow in that field, so I would not mind having a stay at home partner who takes care of the kids and does the cooking, cleaning etc.. However, I also would not mind if we are both working and share the responsibilities 50/50.

    I do not want to be a stay at home wife and my partner work full time. That is too much imbalance for me. But if my partner and I agree on what is most suitable and benefits both of us, whether that is us both working, or whatever, then it doesn't really matter once we both are fully okay with it and there is a possibility to change it should we not like it in the future. Maybe you can answer this question here for me please? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1840566-what-are-some-of-the-issues-that-men-face-in-society-simply-for-being

    It is along the same lines of this question :) Thank you!

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  • I would rather have a working husband, and I will be working too. When we have kids, I could take time off or work less to take care of the children until elementary school age. I also plan to really put effort into making a house a home... cooking, cleaning, laundry/ironing, gardening, sewing, shopping and couponing, decorating, hosting parties, facilitating family time, being a playful active parent, etc. I do a lot of this already and I like it a lot. If my husband knows how to fix things and do yardwork, that would be awesome.

    I'm not against a full time stay at home dad or mom! I absolutely respect that and think it can be amazing! I just would feel more secure in our family if both sides had a job/career and a hand in taking care of the house/raising a family in case something happened to one of us. I have experienced it first hand what happens in a traditional household where one side works and one side does all the housework/kids raising and then a parent dies or a divorce comes about. It's extremely hard. I wouldn't want that.

    But yeah, that's what I envision at least!

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  • I'm surprised so many girls on here want to be sahms, and even some guys want their wives that way. I though this was an egalitarian site?

    ideally I wouldn't want to stay at home, but I don't know how bad my during and after pregnancy symptoms would be. and I've heard they change with each baby... so if I could handk e it I would want to work.

    I'd also would want a working spouse... daycare is so expensive (I don't feel like the workers get paid enough though) that I hope we'd be lucky enough to have family help with childcare. and we could finally put the kids in daycare/preschool at 3-4 so they could enjoy all the fun stuff. I don't think they'll miss not going earlier, since they wouldn't have remembered anyway lol

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  • The guy I'm seeing would like to actually be able to financially support me so I don't have to work at all regardless of kids and although the lazy part of me is internally sighing and think "that'd be the life" I'd be able to stay home, bake and cook amazing foods for him and I, clean and decorate the house, make a garden (mm home grown potatoes anyone?) and play xbox of course 😉 but I'd feel wrong because I've been in and out of work from the time I was legally allowed to start working (14) I think if kids were involved I'd stay home until they were old enough for school and then I'd return back to work, I'd just feel bad living of my partner.

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  • My husband would rather I stay at home. He makes more than enough money. We have a daughter and I did stop working for a couple years. I'm working again and it conflicts with seeing each other as much. So he always says he'd rather me be a stay at home mom but it's what ever is making me happy.
    The job I have would be enough for us to live off of if he were to stay at home. If that's what he really wanted then I'd be fine with it. But I believe both couples should work. The one that takes care of the kids could at least do part time. But if you're struggling for money it's not fair to put all the stress of paying the bills on one person.

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  • As I've said before, I'd much prefer to stay home while my husband works. I've worked in the past and working in the home is much more fulfilling and enjoyable for me.

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  • I'm not very good at the SAH position, but add an M to that, & I'm ok. I go a little nuts being home most of the time, but I'm introverted, so I get exhausted being outside for long periods of time. Once my son goes to school, I'll be working so I can help out. I'm pretty good at keeping our place clean, but since I was never taught how to cook, my husband IS a cook, so he cooks & he's been teaching. Crock pot is where it's at! Lol. I have a few major mental disorders, so hopefully once I get a job again, it'll be a good, quiet job for me.

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  • I think If a parent is fortunate enough to stay home with the children until they're are old enough to go to school that that would be wonderful. Ideally in my opinion it would be the mother but I wouldn't discriminate against the father staying at home. Bonding with the children while they are young is very important and then returning to work when the kids are in school would be good for the whole household including the children seeing both parents working for what they have. Nothing in life is easy or free.

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  • Id love a working man. I could t b with a man who didn't work.

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  • I'd prefer to work part-time and have my husband work full time (based on my current circumstances with my boyfriend) as long as we could afford it, so I could do house work and bring in some money and when we have kids take time off until we feel comfortable with daycare or they go to school... My boyfriend would prefer me be a stay at home mom until the kids are in highschool but I would go crazy and probably get fat binge watching tv with all my spare time, better to have some work to do than hardly any in my opinion.

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  • I think my partner and I should both work, since it's highly unlikely that either of us would make enough money to support both of us alone. But even if my partner did make enough money, I'd still want to do something with my life. I'd go crazy if I was trapped at home with nothing to do but possibly take care of potential kids, cook and clean (although I don't want kids).

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    • I also think it's silly that people jump to conclusions and think daycares are shit just because apparently "strangers" won't care about your kids. I don't know about the USA but here in Finland the daycare system is pretty neat. I loved my daycare and the "nannies" working there, they always planned fun and educational trips for us to go on, crafting projects, art projects etc. They were good with discipline but they were also good at comforting children, making sure everyone is ok. They also made scrapbooks for every single child that we got to take home and show our parents. They contained photos and our drawings, and also descriptions of the trips we would take. I made a lot of friends there and I still talk to some of them to this day. I don't understand how anyone could say that daycare is the worst.

  • Both of us work, but if one of us *must* stay, him, not me lol
    I've been working since I was 12. Like half my life. This is all I know and I'm good for.

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    • This.
      If you want to drive me insane, make me stay home/not work.

  • I would want my spouse to work, same as me.

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  • I'd want a working man obviously. And I wouldn't mind staying at home taking care of the house and children cause I already do that now I clean the house and take care of my younger siblings making sure everyone is healthy, happy and safe. And I would be able to focus and interact with my children better. But I wouldn't definitely want to do something else like volunteering or a part time job if he didn't mind me not working cause I would feel like a parasite and it would just make me feel guilty.

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  • I want us both to work cause everyone should be independent as a person
    asking money from parents and then husband is not being your own person

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  • I'd want both of us to work ☺️

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  • We'll both work.

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  • I want someone who works. Even if I were to have kids in the distant future and marry a spouse who was able to become the main bread winner for the family and I could stay home I'd still work. I'd probably do something that was less demanding on time constraints if I had a kid though.

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  • We'd both work and have weekends, vacations and holidays dedicated to ourselves. That's what I want ultimately. A partner who is ambitious, family-orientated, cooperative and compassionate. I'm trying to be a teacher and would love to marry a teacher. That way we get the holidays and Summer's off to be with our children.

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  • I love home & my future hubby/kids will be my biggest priority it's old fashioned (cooking, cleaning, protecting, raising)
    old fashioned wives are my idol honestly they can be freaking cool and have extra time to be successful even make home business if needed
    So I love working man who protect me rather than think I'm money threat

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  • I don't want kids, so a stay at home spouse makes no sense.

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  • Bring me money, you gluck

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  • I'd like to work from home myself. it'd be cool to be with someone who also works from home, would give us more time to spend together. though, really as long as he doesn't practically live at his job, I don't care either way.

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  • Working full time, just like me - of course!

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  • If I made enough money then I would love a stay at home spouse lol but only if he wanted to of course. I don't want children though.

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  • Not working 24/7 but I'd like to have someone who can support me with stuff at home.

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  • I would want my guy to work.

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  • Both of us work our butts off and retire into pure, financially stable bliss.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 29

  • For me it doesn't matter. I want to be successful enough so that my woman doesn't have to work. She only works if she wants to. I grew up in a home where both parents worked and I would love to be able to take care of my wife so that she doesn't need to work unless it's her passion.
    I want to take my woman around the world. See the sites. Get a bit more cultured and when we're back home in America we follow whatever our dream is.. if that's a stay at home wife then awesome. If that's working full time, then I support that.

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    • good man

    • I hope all men would think like you, though, I think I will teach my daughter to focus on a career that can make her independent enough, I don't want her to turn to an ignorant mother who doesn't know anything but the price of the milk and cheese , even if she likes staying at home, I wouldn't encourage that, and that's for her own good.

  • If she stays at home, you're giving her the house when she divorces you.

    If she works, you split the house you both paid for.

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    • True but how cynical

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    • @VampireEmpress the concept of the thing you own end up owning you is absolutely true ime

    • yep, especially these days.

  • Only rich idiots would not want their spouse to work. If your spouse is working then you will have 2 income sources. That will GREATLY increase your ability to save money for an early retirement. A 65-with-enough-money future will be a 55-retire-and-travel-the-world future.

    Even if you don't save that much, a 2-people income means you can move to a much nicer place to live. If you have kids then hire a caretaker and split the duties with the kids. Take advantage of whatever pregnancy/kids policy from your company and help each other raise the kid.

    If you are making minimum wage then 2-income means you can save enough for your kid to go to collage or maybe just enough to help when things get tights.

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  • It depends on the situation. If she's a mother by all means stay at home and raise the kids. I rather have kids be cared for by a mother than some strangers at daycare who doesn't care around my kids.
    However, if she has no kids she should be working. The only exception is if she has a submission fetish or something and enjoys a guy being in complete control of her life.

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    • So why should she have to be the one to stay home and forfeit a career? I agree that the parents should care for the child, but what if you changed to part time work and she kept part time work?

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    • #the_adviser

      what if she makes more money than you? most doesn't mean all, and i dont know if most is correct lie if thats just your prejudice. anyhow, if she males more?

    • @Azara Then I stay home, especially if my child is a boy. With me being a man I can handle his boyishness much easier that a woman can. However, as somebody who going into technology it's unlikely she will make more that me.

  • I honestly want enough income from investments so that we both can stay home and do other things.

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  • Working spouse, love doesn't pay the bills!!!

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  • Well I was raised old fashioned so obviously I'd be more at home with a stay at home spouse but I'm fine with one that works as long as she makes time for the family, especially kids, children need their mother especially at a young age. So as long as she can fufill the duties of a wife and mother I'll be fine, and I'll do the duties of a father and husband.

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  • I guess it depends though. Sometimes the woman has no choice, but to stay home and take care of the kids. Daycare... talking about expensive, LOL!!! It's literally a job of its own, not to mention being a maid and cleaning houses for a living. Stay at home spouses would cook food for family the same as those at restaurants do for everyone else.

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    • In the past, women COULD stay at home, but because of womens lib and taxation, they have no choice now but to work.

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    • I've actually also read that women have always worked too. like how
      it used to be okay in the usa for underage kids to work dangerous jobs before the child labor laws? everyone used to work back then. I've read that having a non working partner was only for upper class people. these days, many stay at home because it actually costs too much for them to work... they literally can't afford to work.

    • #op

      other than the affluent -were women had no choice but to be confined to home and controlled by husband or father or brother. women never stayed at home--though her earnings and time and chidden were still controlled by her husband or father or brother or the state-- families were dual income and women died and were maimed and raped on the job as a regular event.

      learn some history.

  • Got no damn money for a wife who wants to sit home. We either both working or she's a maid.

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  • If we have kids, I'd like her to stay home, unless she's adamantly opposed to it.
    Doesn't mean that has to be ALL she does, I'd just hope that our children might be more of her focus, as if I achieve my goal in becoming a doctor, I am both likely to earn more and be much less inclined to not work in the field I've spent a decade trying to get in to.

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  • Considering my opinion is greatly influenced by my parents, my mother in particular, I'd want a working partner. Both of my parents worked and still do and everything's fine.

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  • I want a spouse that is happy, that I'm happy with, and... yeah lol

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  • A stay at home mom. 😊

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  • I would prefer her to stay at home. However, if she prefer to have a career, I wouldn't be against that.

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  • I'd like a stay at home wife when we have kids.

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  • Just want a loyal spouse. I'd if she works or doesn't just want someone I can trust u_u

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  • When the child is an infant or a tot, definitely a stay at home spouse is preferable. But by grade school age, back to work is fine. In fact, it is sadly an economic reality today.

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  • working spouse, I would love to work from home and make some money from home. but since love and life don't work in my favour, it isn't likely.

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  • A working spouse is my preference. But if she was/wanted to be a stay at home spouse that's fine with me too.

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  • I want her to at least work part time, or volunteer, just something.

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  • Seeing as I don't want kids, I definitely want a woman with other ambitions.

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  • A working gal

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  • she has to have a life outsid. Of kid watching I wanna get a maid

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  • Works dual income is nice

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  • Working spouse. If I'm paying the bills we're doomed

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  • If both work, both will feel useful and independent.

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  • one of both.

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  • Both. I want a wife who takes being a mother seriously enough to stay home and BE a mother to our children. Children deserve a MOTHER, not a "childcare professional".

    But I would also want her to go back to work once the kids are old enough that they don;t need a mom at home full time.

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  • It depends on her capabilities, cooking style, cleanliness etc.

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    • Well then, you could always trade places and let her work while you stay home. Or a have you both do part time duty

    • @SparklingFirefly I work from home and am actually a better homemaker, cook etc than most women I know.

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