Cheating on my wife?

I'm married with no kids. I go out with my female best friend/college ex girlfriend. after a night of drinking with friends, I spend the night at her house. we sleep in the same bed. we flirt and I make her laugh. she even rubs my abs when in bed. we have had numerous sex and dated in college. we have even once had sex in a library. and we go to raves and bars together. my wife is forbidding me from seeing her. but I sneak out and lie that I'm at a male friends house. and I sleep with my arm around her and once even kissed her on the neck.

Updates:
is what we are doing inappropriate? I think some sleeping (especially since I don't want to drive drunk) is ok

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol are u a child?

    My wife phorbids me but I sneak out

    Lol lol lol

    Grow up!

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    • That is not something that u do to ur wife

      Besides its inappropriate for a married man to spend te night alone in female company

      Not to mention she was an ex!

      U r wrong in so many levels

      U think she is even a good influence on u? Making u sneak arounf behind ur wife's back.

      Is this a mid life crisis or something?

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    • Of course it is cheating

      Its a matter of loyalty even in emotions/thoughts

    • Thank you for MHO

      Although I am even afraid to ask about what you have decided to do

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. It is. It is on several levels. For one thing, you are being dishonest with your wife. I would consider such an action on my part inappropriate. For another thing, you are dishonoring her request that you don't see her. If it's that important to her, you should be willing to do what she asks.

    Finally, you are having an intimate relationship with another woman. Sex is around the corner. Yiure headed for some really big trouble.

    My advice is to figure yourself out before you have children.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Okay, good for you. Was there any question there or did you just want to let us know that you're a douche?

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    • I think I saw this same thing earlier today, without "we have even once had sex in a library."

      Ignore.

    • see the update

    • Yes, what you're doing is inappropriate and you know it is. You've asked this question dozens of time before. Your wife is upset by what you're doing. Your actions so far have been inconsiderate and disrespectful and I think that it's disgusting that you can't see that.

  • So what is your question or are you just confessing? You're a cheater and you know it, there's no sympathy.

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    • I mean, is our behavior inappropriate?

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    • Well you have to sneak out and your wife forbids you to see her apparently but you do it behind her back so yes it still is.

    • He's just trying to rationalize his illicit behavior to get ONE PERSON to say it's ok.

  • Cheating in a monogamous relationship is inappropriate. It is only not appropriate if the relationship is open and both parties are content with the concept of the other seeing and engaging in sex/relationships with other people outside of themselves.

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  • Why are you even with your wife at this point? You obviously married the wrong person.

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  • So you're a cheating scum bag. Is there any particular question you wanted to ask?

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    • And no, it's not kind of okay because you're not having sex with her. You're lying to your wife. Clearly you know you shouldn't be doing it. Grow up.

  • yes it is.
    it would be over if we were together. I dont tolerate that sh*t muche less put u on a leash and forbid.

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  • sounds like a high school kids imagining how to sneak out from his wife...
    are you a troll?
    if not, yeahhhh you're cheating in whatever you've done

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  • Thanks god you have no kids, devorce your wife for god's sake bc every woman wants a guy who loves her and care about her only her, no woman deserves a mf cheater plss leave herr ugh she shouldd step on your dick with her high heels 😤

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  • Are you seriously unaware that you're a piece of shit? Would you like it if your wife did this to you?

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  • What the hell is wrong with you? Get a divorce, your wife deserves better!

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  • Just ask yourself if your wife was in the same situation. Sneaking behind your back to hang out with and spend the night (in the same bed) with an ex even if they weren't having sex. Would you be okay with it and not consider it cheating? I didn't mean any of that in a rude way by the way, just hoping it answers your question.

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  • Emotional cheating is still cheating. If you feel like you're cheating you probably are. Don't be a dick, you need to sort your shit out because you're gonna end up hurting BOTH of them.

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  • You're cheating on her.

    You're having a relationship with a woman who isn't your wife, and the relationship is far more on the flirty side. And you sleep in the same bed with a woman who isn't your wife.

    there's a reason your wife 'forbidded' you, and it's because you both seem to still have feelings/attraction towards one another.

    How would you feel if the tables were turned and your wife was doing this with her ex boyfriend/ or another man.

    You should talk to her and confess what you've been doing or your marriage will never last.

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  • It seems like you don't want to be with your wife if your going through all this trouble to be with someone else. You don't even seem like you feel bad. Sorry but your being an Asshole by putting her through this

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What Guys Said 13

  • Sounds like maybe you should go on the Jerry Springer Show, or Maury.

    I think you should have been straightforward and honest about it with your wife in the first place. Why not come forward to your wife and ask if you guys could have an "open-relationship" or "open-marriage" in the first place? Such as way before you had planned the wedding. If she was open about it then you might have just hit a jackpot. Ok, maybe that doesn't mean you guys would become full on swingers or something, but it may have been better than the situation you are in now.

    Now you feel worried that if your wife ever find out that you have been cheating on her and that something really bad is going to happen as a result of your actions?

    Well at least, you do not have kids. So maybe recovering and restarting after a divorce and possibly marrying the current lady friend you are spending time with may be the outcome which may not turn out to be too terrible. But I don't know, it's ultimately on you and your wife to sort this out and work it out somehow. And if it really doesn't then it's time to move forward and move on.

    I'd get ready for a divorce if I were you. I see absolutely no point of living a lie with a person you don't really want to be with anymore or is willing to be fully open and honest with. It will also depend on what and how your wife will respond.

    Will she be forgiving and open to give you a second chance when and if she finds out? If so, then will you promise not to be dishonest and continue to cheat on her anymore?

    Or can you finally tell her the truth that you haven't felt that you love her anymore, if that is what you are currently feeling right now?

    Hey, it happens, people change their minds all the freakin' time. Ask her if there is still something you can try or do to not make this situation any worse than it already is, since you cannot change the fact that you had cheated on her and that cannot be undone.

    If you really feel that you really love your current lady friend more than your wife then it's best to not waste any more of your time and your current wife's time.

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  • Inappropriate? what? you shouldn't be even asking this question.

    Of course it's highly inappropriate!. You are cheating on your wife and it's an unforgivable act.

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    • we are just friends! A little bit of sleeping isn't too bad and I need a place to stay after drinking!

    • Okay, what you are saying is fine if you are single, but as per your post, you are married, you have a wife so still you think whatever you are doing is correct or appropriate according to you?

      Is your wife fine with all this? I don't think so because if she was then she wouldn't forbid you from seeing her, right?

  • Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. Make men look bad. You're truly a piece of shit though.. just know that.

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  • Ask your wife if you're cheating or not.

    99% of the time if you have to sneak around and lie then yeah, you have your answer right there.

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  • Imagine your wife doing the same exact shit with her ex boyfriend, then ask yourself if it would be okay for her to do it.

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  • would you be ok if your wife was with an old college friend and they were sleeping in the same bed and hugging and kissing each other?

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  • This is very inappropriate. But i smell a troll anyway.

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater what you did was wrong and you should tell her what you did good luck man

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  • Good job dave man, Have sex with your wife's sister while at it

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  • Sounds like your wife is correct.

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  • Your an asshole, why the fuck would you have a wife if you want another girl? That's what being single is for...

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  • there's nothign wrong with cheating.

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  • Wtf is wrong with you.

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