Why does everyone disrespect and condemn my Plural Marriage to my husband and his first wife. Surely its my lifestyle choice?

Even liberal friends and family, some of whom live alternative lifestyles such as gay/lesbien or friends with benefits. Especially since everyone who strongly puts my marriage down is nearly always a massive hypocrite aa they are all divorcees, sluts, home wreckers, single mothers for benefits, cheaters, side chicks and so on. My husband is 30 years old, so handsome and smart and a great provider. I get on so well with my sister wife and I work 9-5 while she takes care of the kids. Its when people find out that the problems start and they start to judge and act prejudice especially those that should know better.
Why does everyone disrespect and condemn my Plural Marriage to my husband and his first wife. Surely its my lifestyle choice?








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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whatever works, I have no problem with it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • because alternative lifestyles can be "family friendly" if monogamous. and promiscuous lifestyles are forgiven because there is no relationship, and thus no devotion. it's just sex.

    a situation like yours strikes harshly against ingrained cultural norms that say romantic relationships should be strictly monogamous. and because he has multiple women to sleep with, it is seen as you, and his other wife, "accepting" a situation made for his sexual benefit.

    I'm not saying their criticisms of what you have is right, I'm just explaining why they have them.

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  • Im curious, who typically gives you the most judgment, guys or girls?

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    • Im not gay.

    • I never said you were...

      You said people judge your plural marriage and my question was which gender typically judges you the most?

  • There are many things that seem odd to me, this would be one of them.

    That being said, it would change how I would treat ya, I'd just be confused or curious.

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  • You do you nobody really cares what you don in your place💁🏻

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    • Then why the judgement

  • Because mormons are creepy

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  • No judgment from me, your conviction is dimissed.

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  • Hahahahahaha mad respect to the dude who got to keep his side hoe.

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    • Im not a side hoe im his his second wife.

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    • I'm not sure who that was addressed to, but I'm a Physics student at one of the best colleges in America, so I don't really fit the bill of 'obese couch potato'. :D

      For the record, I don't think the children of gays will have an easy time of it either. I'm not saying that's how it should be, but it's the way it is. In your case, I just have no idea how you explain to a kid that he has 3 parents.

      I mean, no offence, but do you want your kids growing up thinking your lifestyle is normal?

    • Have you seen what passes as normal when it comes to raring children these days. I don't want my kids raised by whats normal these days.

What Girls Said 8

  • When I read your post my first thought was that it seems to work for you. All three of you entered this relationship knowing the arrangement and consenting to it. Already you're a step ahead of the relationship where the man has 2 lives and keeps them secret from each other. I disagree with the commenter who go on about the children suffering from this. No child suffers from being raised in a loving and stable environment. There will be far less trauma or damage to the children than those watching their parents fight over an affair or witnessing violence in the home.

    Then I read the comments and, although my opinion of your relationship hasn't changed, my opinion of you has. What right do you have to demand to know why people judge you on your unconventional marriage then slate those who choose to live monogomously? Your responses to everyone who even slightly disagreed with you or dared say they preferred a conventional relationship have been hostile, rude and judgmental. You are the very prejudiced and narrow minded hipocrite you accuse everyone else of being.

    I am not religious, but I agree with posters saying you shouldn't use the Bible to argue your cause, any more than it should be used to support gay marriage or homophobia. You are not engaging in a plural marriage because it is your religious belief. It is your CHOICE not a divine commandment. You said yourself you're not religious so don't try to claim holy sanction for your alternative lifestyle.

    You cannot possibly be so naive and blinkered as to think that your three-way marriage is anything but a minority preference; an alternative lifestyle, yet you preach at and judge others for choosing the more commonly regarded (and legal) standpoint on marriage. You may not be a Mormon (as you are quick to point out) yet you eagerly embrace one of their defining characteristics - knocking on doors and annoying the hell out of peopyto "save them" and convert them to your way of thinking.

    I don't judge you for your plural marriage. The arrangement works for all involved and that is fine. I do judge you for your attitude and the chip on your shoulder. If you choose an alternative lifestyle you have to accept people won't understand and will judge. Your narrow minded, self-righteous and judgmental attitude makes people less likely to hear you out.

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  • You're quoting GENESIS? The first book of the bible? Really? An d Samuel? Really? Didn't god actually dislike his polygamy lifestyle?

    Look girl. Whatever rocks your boat. I'm someone who thinks: as long as you're not harming anyone, live and let live. But one thing you have to know is that society IS and will always be judgmental. You say your lifestyle is a choice? Well just like any other choices we choose to make and display in public, we might be judged for it. Especially if that choice is getting on the borderline extreme side and is in no way close to what is considered "normal" in public. Just like when someone choose to do drastic body modifications, he/she will be judged for that choice. Same thing goes with your choice of marriage lifestyle. You have to learn to accept that. It IS your choice, you say.

    What I don't like is quoting the bible, especially the most outdated parts of it, and trying to make it seem like polygamy is natural according to god. By doing that, you're also doing the exact same thing society is doing to you: condemning others who don't think the way you do. Besides, every good Christian knows that since Jesus was born, the laws of the old Testament is replaced by the lass of love from the New Testament. And tell me, where in the NT does Jesus encourage polygamy? Plucking single verses or even sentences out of its context just to seem justification for what someone does is very typical of religious "i'm holier than thou so I can do no wrong" people.

    Conclusion:
    - you do you
    - learn to accept that society will always judge your choice
    - but leave the fucking bible out of this! Don't seem justification for the choice you've made because that's just pathetic. Talk to your pastor first at least, before you quite the bible.

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    • Jesus was a jew who lived by the old testament and if gays can be allowed to get married why can't we.

    • Jesus lives by the lass of love. Not the lass of the OT.

      And like i said, and like you said. It's your choice. You can't expect everyone to get on board with every choice we make for ourselves. Accept it and stop complain ing. It makes people like you and want to accept your lifestyle even less

  • Oh, what a selfish man. What a foolish and na├»ve woman.

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    • Hey, he couldn't keep it in his pants with one housewife. Now he has another kept woman. Get the man a fleshlight or something.

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    • He fucks everything from women to goats to little boys.

    • Your father ok then seek counselling for the abuse.

  • I don't like those that uses the polygamy as a cover up for emotional affair or any type of affair (big or small).
    I strongly dislike cheaters cheaters.

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    • I dislike cheaters too. A woman who works in my office is very judgmental towards me and my lifestyle choice which means she is a hypocrite as she recently came out as a lesbien after twelve years of marriage and had been sleeping with another woman and doesn't care how it affects her kids or husband.

  • I can't really say much, but the pictures you posted don't really make me feel great about polygamy.

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  • You can do whatever you like, but it smacks of man worship to me.

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  • I'd be too jealous of the second wife if I was the first one. Why does she have to be his second wife? Why can't she just be a friend you let live with you for free while she does childcare?

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    • Thats kind of how it works but we all give each other a lot of support.

    • But doesn't she have sex with your husband? If it works for you, you're really tough.

    • Well he has like a high sex drive so it kind of a plus. Like if I have a headache or im tired or its my time of the month or pregnant again. It can be tough sometimes but it can really encourage you to stay in shape and not let yourself go if you have a bit of friendly competition. My sister wife tells me she has really upped her game and hasn't been in such good shape since she was sixteen. It really encourages a girl to not let things get stale in a marriage.

  • I don't care at all. If that makes you happy awesome :) i could never do it, personally, for a million and one reasons. I need my guy all to myself. But if you're good with it, ignore the haters

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    • Thank you. I will keep on truckin

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