So, I have been married for the past year and a half. It hasn't exactly been a good marriage either. I'm in that "just wait and see what happens" phase. So many bad things have happened since I had said my vows, but I just keep giving my spouse chance after chance. Even left him for 7 months and came back, to give another chance, and out of guilt because we share a baby.
But almost every single night for the past few weeks I have been dreaming of my ex. Of kissing him, of him telling me he loved me first. Of him telling me to come home to him (he lives back in my hometown)... every single time I find myself waking up missing him even more. I still have his number in my phone, although I haven't spoken to him since Thanksgiving. He was never happy with the idea of me marrying the man I am with now, and he was livid to find out some of the things my husband has done to me. I'm trying to just clear my ex out of my memory and just let him get on with life. It's not like he'd want me now with all of the emotional baggage he probably assumes I would have and a baby.
But every morning I wake up feeling guilty, guilty that I didn't take my time in my relationship with my ex and foundmyself a new one just because I felt like I was running out of time to get married and settle down. Guilty because he was right about the man I married, he hasn't been good to me (leaving me to go drink for days on end, blaming me for his loss of friends and everything bad that happens to him, barely working to support our son and I- I'm currently in a situation where I am not able to work). Guilty because I am still in love with my ex. Living in my husband's house and constantly thinking about my ex, even in my sleep.
What should I do? I have been debating all day whether or not to text my ex and catch up. Maybe I'll find out he's dating someone and that will force me to just get the hell over it.
Most Helpful Girl
Regardless if your husband isn't tending to your needs, you shouldn't text your ex. You would still be cheating and that's a shitty thing to do. I feel like you and your husband are on your way down and the only thing keeping you together is your baby. But that's not a happy marriage and your kid will eventually sense that and will eventually be affected by your unhappiness.
I say that you should either try to work things out with your husband and rekindle your love (assuming he hasn't abused you in any way because if he has just leave him) or just get a divorce. You're already deeply fantasizing about someone else and are on the verge on leaving him anyway.0