Is it wrong to not want to get married and have kids?

I'm not trying to start some bitter, misogynist rant about how "feminists are trying to destroy men and control us!". But why do we feel it's necessary to have a SO and children in order to be happy? My great uncle never married and he was a great guy. Why do I have to give up pursuing my passions in life in order to support other people? Is that selfish? Why can't I be happy in life doing other things and being the person I dreamt being?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you feel like getting married and having children is going to mess up your life or your goals, and you know those are more important than a potential new family - then choose that - what is more important to you. Nothing wrong with that. As long as people whom you're dating for a longer time know you aren't intended on getting married or having children. Live your life, but don't stagnate other's lives just so you can get what you want. Honesty is important.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. My thoughts were the same when I was in my early twenties, but then I met my now wife, and changed my mind shortly after. Now, I'm not saying that that will happen to everyone, but it can. Also, some people just don't want to marry or be in a long term relationship. They'd rather do what they want, and have no desire to have to budge on the front. Which might sound selfish, but it really isn't as long as you're open about if you are seeing someone.
    On the kids front, it's perfectly fine to not want to have kids. My wife, and I never want to have kids and we're both perfectly happy with it. My sisters are married, are very happy in their 40's and neither of them have kids. Not having kids in a relationship or marriage seems to be less taboo now then it was 10 years ago.

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    • Yeah, this pretty much sums up who I am in the first paragraph.

What Girls Said 11

  • Nah, you do you. If you don't want a SO or a family then no one should stop you. It's not for everyone.

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  • No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asserting the life you wish to experience. If marriage and children are not life experiences you want taking up a massive chunk of your timeline, then it is your human right to not pursue them. However, you must be realistic about the fact that many women want to experience motherhood and they want to be wives. They would feel deprived in a massive way by being involved with you so they simply won't take you seriously.

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  • Well the cornerstone of feminism is choice and that no one should be pressured to live a different lifestyle than they want and no one should be shamed. Like some women want to be housewives that's awesome! BUT I personally would hate my life if I was forced to spend it that way because I have different interests in life. My aunt never married or had kids but she still got to spend time with me as a kid and watch me grow up and having a niece was good enough for her! She was too busy being an archaeologist to settle down which was her dream. She is living her dream and loving every minute of it which is all that matters. Sure people call her selfish for never having kids but I don't see anything selfish in pursuing your dreams and leading a happy life!

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  • i agree~ i don't want kids and, until i met my current man, i had no intention of ever being married either.

    just do what makes you happy. :)

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  • Hey man, if that's what you want to do, go for it. As long as you don't feel the need to tear others down for their choices, you're good.

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    • Nah, I just don't want people tearing me down for mine.

  • Do you, buddy. Lots of people don't want marriage or kids.

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  • There is nothing wrong with not wanting marriage or children. However it is wrong to get married & have children when that's not what you want. Don't pay attention to what society wants or expects from you. Stick to what YOU want out of life.

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  • No, it's not selfish at all! Do what is right for YOU, you will never regret it.

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  • Nope there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all!! Do you Dude!

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  • No not wrong ,, i don't blame u I blame the reason behind that

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  • It's your choice, you won't be forced to do these things.

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    • Yeah, but there's sort of this pressure from families to get married and have children. I feel like your peers will start looking at you weird after a certain age if you don't conform to those things.

    • You will always feel pressure from outside sources, and for many other aspects of your life. People expect you to conform with the majority. If you don't, you won't be seen as normal, which you aren't. It sucks, but it's something you'll have to deal with.

What Guys Said 7

  • not wrong, totally up to the individual and how they want to live their life.

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  • Its only bad if a large portion of the population decides to adopt your mentality. If its only a minority of people who choose to be childless then its no big deal.

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  • There's nothing wrong with that, each to his own and all of that stuff.

    For me personally I do want to have kids. I think that it'll be good to have someone to leave an inheritance too instead of the government taking it all. Obviously there are other reasons for wanting kids but I won't go into them.

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  • It's not wrong. Live your life the way you want it to be.

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  • Nope.

    I don't want kids and that's why I'm single

    Shit, ve made peace with it lol

    You do you man

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  • I am the same.

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  • I'm never getting married. I ditched the idea of getting married and never looked back.

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