How to ask boyfriend for a certain type of engagement ring?

I have a feeling my boyfriend is going to propose within this upcoming year based on how he's been acting. Recently, he brought up the topic of engagement rings and asked me what I think of diamond rings and what I would consider the "ideal size" of the diamond. I tried telling him I really rather not waste money on a ring and instead get a nice wooden ring or something without a large-ass rock on it. When I said this, he got upset and tried convincing me that diamond rings are most appropriate for engagements... How do I go about convincing him otherwise? I dont want to insult him later by exchanging the ring if he does propose.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I like you already. My wedding band was less than a hundred bucks. It's simple and durable, like me.

    This is the kind of situation where you should tread lightly, though, for fear of trampling on emotions you haven't the faintest idea of.
    I mean, if he really WANTS to see you with a rock on yr finger, then there are probably all kinds of significance there that you don't even know about.

    At the very least, there's probably a deep sense of accomplishment, commitment, and investment that he feels, that would be symbolized by that kind of ring (for him -- mb not for you).

    Also, it's VERY possible that he's just turned on beyond all words at the thought of a big ring on yr finger. Yes, seriously -- this is a very big sexual thing, for lots of men, and I'd bet good money that it will be for yours, too... even if he's not aware of that yet. (If he buys you that kind of ring, and yr in the process of seducing him and you put the middle two fingers of THAT hand in yr mouth... ohh girl, the fireworks. Just try it.)

    I mean, I'm with you all the way on the plain simple ring thing, but, like everything else is a marriage, this is a matter of compromise. Mb you could wear a simpler ring most of the time, but a more elaborate one when yr out with him (or … in with him ::wink::).

    I mean, I’m assuming you are not SO fundamentally opposed to the idea that it actually disgusts you on some fundamental level. If that’s the case, then this is a … much more delicate conversation, and, frankly, it’s probably beyond my element to advise you on.
    But, as long as that’s not the case, you can probably just compromise. Inexpensive, utilitarian ring for everyday wear, and more elaborate ring for special occasions. (Where “special occasions” includes bedroom events and outside-world events.)
    I mean, that’s what MOST women I know with super-expensive wedding rings actually do, anyway. If a ring is worth five-figure prices, it’s not like its owner is gna be wearing it around literally every day to do random mundane tasks.

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    • Wow, thanks for the awesome feedback! I completely agree with everything you've said. I think Ill let him do whatever he wants since it'd be a very special gift from him no matter what he gives me (I just hope he doesn't spend too much on it lol). And thats a great Idea of what I could do with that ring when Im with him... I will definitely have to try it out sometime ;)

    • Tx for the MH luv. <3

      Oh yeah... Girl you get to work, NOW, on getting yr man (and yrself) to associate that ring on yr finger with blinding-hot lovin'.

      Do the same thing with marriage itself -- and everything connected to it.

      That's the kind of "hot" that'll last forever. <3

What Guys Said 5

  • Well there's ways you can subtly hint about that, you can wear one kind of ring or if all your rings are in a style you like he should realize that and get one based upon the stuff you wear or you can slip stuff like that into the conversation.

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  • First of all, he's trying to adorn you with something beautiful and expensive, and weather you deserve it or not, he deserves the right to put whatever he wants on you without you complaining or rejecting it; he's doing this for something to take pride in so you're going to accept it, wear it for him and banish the thought of displeasing him or trying to convince him otherwise from your mind.

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  • Better good at it if you plan on a long term relationship. Keep in mind that if he sees it as money centric and shallow, the engagement might be off, but the right person is hard to find. Worth while finding, but not an easy thing to do.

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  • Well what do you want? Keeping in mind that other people (women mostly - at least in the heads of men) will frequently attempt to gauge his success and level of affection for you by looking at the ring he got you. Men are quite accustomed to this by now.

    Diamonds are not worth much in reality though. There's warehouses packed to the brim with them. Then they're sold little by little to the market to control the supply and demand.
    This is one of rather few proven, confessed, documented etc etc conspiracy theories.

    So I suppose you could always want something more unique, if it also happened to be a little cheaper, well, that's up to you and him.

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    • Thats precisely why Im not interested in them. I've also heard about how diamonds are very common, yet are expensive because companies such as De Beers hoards them. Thats why I rather have a ring thats cheaper and purely symbolical. I suppose its up to him in the end what he wants to do. I'd just personally save the money for something more important. Thanks for your feedback!

  • 8 think he already got a ring and you just throw a monkey wrench into his plans and probably caused him to move back his proposal and giving the ring back is always a option I'd it doesn't work out

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    • You do realize you can't return a ring right almost all jewelry store all sales are final so if he had bought you one he has to ether sale it back to the shop or to a pawn shop eather way he is going to lose 50 to 70 percent of the money he spent

What Girls Said 2

  • just throw it into the conversation, or wear rings that are that style.

    a wooden wing? not sure what that is... but anyway, in all honesty, i feel like a girl shouldn't force herself on what a guy should get. if u have a certain style u like, awesome, but in the end, the choice for spending is his. he already knows now that u don't need anything fancy, and that's fine, but he wants to do something special for you. let him do it dammit.

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    • A wooden ring is a ring that's made of wood. And I suppose it is his decision in the end. I just hope he doesn't spend too much money on a small piece of jewelry.

  • just accept it and ask for a small size xD

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