Does marriage and having kids really feel as "magical" as people say?

sometimes i think about the whole marriage and kids concept, and i just dont really want it. maybe marriage, but not kids (i dont hate kids, i have a lot of little cousins i love taking care of but i do nott want my own. i dont want to go to pregnancy and i do not want to support a kid for the rest of my life no thank you). to me it seems logical and i feel like my reasons are good (there are way more reasons but im not going to go into that), but whenever i tell people my opinions and decisions, they think its because i just "havent found the one yet" and that everything will change ones i do.
but will it really?
will i really want to carry a baby in my stomach for 9 months and then take care of it forever just because of "the one". that does not sound like me. marriage is one of those topics that is said to be "magical" and that the feeling is unexplainable and blah blah blah. but the way its described sounds an awful lot like your first kiss, and your first time having sex. which for me were neither magical or unexplainable. i mean they were good and all but im just not a romantic person so things like that dont amaze me. at all. so i feel like i would not experience this "amazingness" that people seem to always talk about when trying to convince me to change my mind
what are your opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It’s nothing magical. Once the honeymoon is over there's bills to pay, toilets to clean, clothes to wash and jobs to go to. It’s figuring out how your going to pay $800 for a car repair and pay your rent, not to mention how your supposed to get to work until your car is fixed. In other words it’s real life and it’s not a fairy tale. It can fall apart real fast if you don’t have a solid foundation that your marriage is built on.

    I tell everyone to focus on yourself first. Go to college, get a degree, get started in a career, get some money put in the bank and get a place of your own to live. Once you’ve established yourself in a career and are financially stable then I would say be open to meeting someone, preferably someone that also has stability in the life. At this point whomever you may meet you will choose to be with them because you want them in your life and not because you need them to help you pay bills and make ends meet. You gotta a whole lot ahead of you. It’s not something you want to worry about being only eighteen. It’s a HUGE repsonsiibility.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • For myself and my boyfriend this is true. My boyfriend wanted neither marriage or kids. Well he wanted marriage but not for a really long while. After being with me his whole perspective on both changed. So for some people it can change after you find someone that you really feel like is the one for you. It's corny but it's like looking forward to doing life with your best friend. Drives you crazy but keeps you happy and you never want to be without that craziness. And for some , marriage and kids can become more romanticized. Not all but some.

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What Guys Said 8

  • i'll say that marriage isn't all that magical. it's just an extension of the dating game only now there is a government document that says it's legit... that said my wedding day and honeymoon were definitely magical

    as for having a kid that is definitely 100% magical. the emotion i felt the moment i saw my daughter and every day when i walk into her room each morning is beyond description... so i guess magical is an apt word

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  • No, there is nothing magical in it , at least I don't believe that.

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  • Im 39.. been engaged 2x. both cheated on me. "magical" is something you make. You are a wife now, a mother to x amount of kids. You work a 9-5 job if you choose to while you mate does the same. potty training, Soccer practice, dance or tap or ballet, first dates, first proms, college...

    magical? magical is what you make out of it...

    As for me, give me 4 squares and a roof over my head and someone who loves me and cares for me, and looks past what I look like.. That is "magical" to me..

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    • as previous posters said. You are young. focus on yourself, get a degree. live your life, adventure!

    • Show All
    • Hm.

      I'm asking because "3 squares and a roof over my head" is an old stock phrase, meaning, basically, 3 square MEALS and a place to live.

      Like, that's what my grandfather said. He said it all the time, too. I remember him explaining to me, as a little girl, how poor people would at least get "3 squares and a roof" if they went to jail.

    • @redeyemindtricks 3 square meals, 4 squares and a roof. we the same age-ish

  • Marriage is magical up until the end of the honeymoon, then you're dealing with wedding debts with not enough money due to the honeymoon

    For kids, I can't say

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  • Nope.

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  • It is not majical but reality of life

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  • If by magical, you mean a curse, then maybe. My marriage sucked. Most people I know are unhappy in their marriages. Very few parents even seem grateful for their kids.

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  • not sure about marriage but yes having kids is great it's work but it's great

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What Girls Said 6

  • No it's not magical. It's just like everyday life except harder. I did it for 11 years. Sure there are some good aspects about it but it's not all roses and rainbows.

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  • It's every day life.

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  • If you're expecting life long magic then I think you're gonna be disappointed.

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  • Nah, nothing out of this world.

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  • To some people it dose

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  • You wouldn't have to support the kid for your whole life, when he/she is 18 they are an adult

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    • i know, but even that is waaayy too long.

    • Your mom did it. Billions of other women did it. Why is it too long for you?

    • because i dont even care about kids like that. why would i spend so much of my life taking care of someone i was always iffy about even having in the first place. and i sure as hell dont want to give birth i dont know why its so normalized, it sounds like the worst thing ever. carrying it around for 9 months, struggling, feeling like shit, being left with stretch marks, just to get someone you'll now have to spend most of your money on and deal with. no thank you.

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