My boyfriend is very odd. He says he wants to call me his wife and wants us to have kids and everything a normal married couple would do. But he absolutely refuses to sign ANY papers that say we are legally married to each other in the United States where we live. I asked him why and he said,
“What's the point in getting legally married when it just creates more problems? If people want to leave each other now days, it's very easy to get a divorce. So there is no 'together forever' after marriage any more. Then, married people still cheat on each other all the time. So why get married if married people can still cheat if they want to? Getting married just adds resentment and a bunch of legal stuff that ruins the others life. Why do we need to get married when we can just stay together and not cheat in the first place?”
He even said that he would still buy the ring and we'll still have a joining of our families with a wedding ceremony and party. But why won't he just sign the papers so we can make it official? Without it being legal, doesn't the whole thing just feel hollow and fake?
Most Helpful Guy
Among other things, getting married protects each spouse legally and financially. Also, it protects the children both financially and emotionally. There are many disadvantages to not getting married. His examples merely say that in some ways, it's no better to get married. His examples of disadvantages are suspect. How is it a burden to him if you have legal protection over joint assets and he has legal access to his own children? How is not getting married protection against cheating? In general, his feelings are much stronger than his reasons. I sense there are other, more personal reasons beyond these contrived ones he mentions.2
Most Helpful Girl
Its not hollow and fake! 😂 Lol do you know how hypocritical your point is? You literally think commiting to your husband is contingent on signing legal papers to actually mean something? How about committing in general making that promiss to eachother! Thats what makes it mean something. The legality of marriage is irrelivent and will only complicate things if you break up and either of you feel entitled to things you didn't pay for etc.. I say making the promiss and committing your future there rest of your life to your SO is plenty. White papers and signatures mean nothing and your relience on that actually makes your love a bit hollow. Who cares about papers just committ and love eachother. Thats what love is.0