If people truly love eachother why do they need to get married to prove it, doesn't make sense to me and if they drift apart and get divorced it ruins there lives.
Most Helpful Girl
So, I think you are seriously underestimating the importance of RITUAL in our lives, in general.
Think about “initiation” ceremonies into secret societies (such as military societies, fraternities, etc.)
And cultural rites of passage, and pledges of allegiance, and national anthems, and all those formal shows of patriotism.
And… wedding ceremonies, and renewals of vows, and so on.
Think about the kind of bond that’s created by these things.
When rituals are performed regularly, people will literally go to the ends of the earth for others to whom they’re bonded through these kinds of ceremonies.
Marriage is one of these rituals -- and, believe me, no one stands up there and says "I do" with the intent of forsaking their partner down the line.
It's a fucking beautiful thing. There's NOTHING like looking into yr beloved's eyes and declaring yr commitment, in front of the world. It's wonderful, and it's sexy, and it's fucking amazing in every way.
The problem is that most people don't KEEP performing the ritual, REGULARLY, in any way.
They have one ceremony, and expect it to last the rest of their lives.
The wedding vows should be like a pledge of allegiance. They should be something you both say to each other, in stolen moments, and in the heat of passion, and in the agony of tragedy.
When it's the middle of a slow night, and you grab each other's hands for an impromptu dance in the hallway or in a parking lot... "I do."
When you're fucking hard and fast and about to cum inside her... "I do."
When you've lost a friend or a parent, and she's there to comfort you, and you can cry on her shoulder and it's ok... "I do."
The ritual should NEVER end. And if it doesn't... the marriage won't end, either.2
Most Helpful Guy
One thing that people routinely get wrong about marriage in today's culture is that it's about proving their love. It's not. It's a CELEBRATION of their love. It's a conscious and joyful choice that they make.
Part of the problem is that as a culture, we've become engrained with this notion that we NEED proof of love before getting married, i. e., "sexual compatibility", living together, etc. I disagree with these things because when they do that, they're holding back from each other. Rather than accepting and loving the person as they are, they're trying to mold them into their own image of perfection. When they do this, they commit a grave injustice against each other. The person is an infinity unto themselves. We all have out deepest and innermost feelings and thoughts that we can't express in words. When we demand this kind of "proof", we try to put limits on something that is limitless.
Rather than choosing to love the beloved as they are and turning together to confidently face the difficulties of life and the challenges of marriage and family, they move forward with anxiety and yes, selfishness.
Another problem is that people think that they need to have themselves and their lives completely figured out before getting married. I found a question not too long ago from a woman who wanted to divorce her husband because she "married young" and had "grown a lot more as a person". One aspect of a commitment like marriage is finding more of yourself in the beloved and growing more as individuals and as a couple through their love for each other. I told her that if she had grown a lot as a person, then I couldn't think of a better time or reason for her to STAY in the marriage.
Things like no-fault divorces, irreconcilable differences, and yes, prenuptial agreements don't help the situation either.0