There is no point to marriage?

If people truly love eachother why do they need to get married to prove it, doesn't make sense to me and if they drift apart and get divorced it ruins there lives.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So, I think you are seriously underestimating the importance of RITUAL in our lives, in general.

    Think about “initiation” ceremonies into secret societies (such as military societies, fraternities, etc.)
    And cultural rites of passage, and pledges of allegiance, and national anthems, and all those formal shows of patriotism.
    And… wedding ceremonies, and renewals of vows, and so on.

    Think about the kind of bond that’s created by these things.
    When rituals are performed regularly, people will literally go to the ends of the earth for others to whom they’re bonded through these kinds of ceremonies.

    Marriage is one of these rituals -- and, believe me, no one stands up there and says "I do" with the intent of forsaking their partner down the line.
    It's a fucking beautiful thing. There's NOTHING like looking into yr beloved's eyes and declaring yr commitment, in front of the world. It's wonderful, and it's sexy, and it's fucking amazing in every way.

    The problem is that most people don't KEEP performing the ritual, REGULARLY, in any way.
    They have one ceremony, and expect it to last the rest of their lives.

    Fuck that.

    The wedding vows should be like a pledge of allegiance. They should be something you both say to each other, in stolen moments, and in the heat of passion, and in the agony of tragedy.

    When it's the middle of a slow night, and you grab each other's hands for an impromptu dance in the hallway or in a parking lot... "I do."

    When you're fucking hard and fast and about to cum inside her... "I do."

    When you've lost a friend or a parent, and she's there to comfort you, and you can cry on her shoulder and it's ok... "I do."

    The ritual should NEVER end. And if it doesn't... the marriage won't end, either.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I disagree.

    One thing that people routinely get wrong about marriage in today's culture is that it's about proving their love. It's not. It's a CELEBRATION of their love. It's a conscious and joyful choice that they make.

    Part of the problem is that as a culture, we've become engrained with this notion that we NEED proof of love before getting married, i. e., "sexual compatibility", living together, etc. I disagree with these things because when they do that, they're holding back from each other. Rather than accepting and loving the person as they are, they're trying to mold them into their own image of perfection. When they do this, they commit a grave injustice against each other. The person is an infinity unto themselves. We all have out deepest and innermost feelings and thoughts that we can't express in words. When we demand this kind of "proof", we try to put limits on something that is limitless.

    Rather than choosing to love the beloved as they are and turning together to confidently face the difficulties of life and the challenges of marriage and family, they move forward with anxiety and yes, selfishness.

    Another problem is that people think that they need to have themselves and their lives completely figured out before getting married. I found a question not too long ago from a woman who wanted to divorce her husband because she "married young" and had "grown a lot more as a person". One aspect of a commitment like marriage is finding more of yourself in the beloved and growing more as individuals and as a couple through their love for each other. I told her that if she had grown a lot as a person, then I couldn't think of a better time or reason for her to STAY in the marriage.

    Things like no-fault divorces, irreconcilable differences, and yes, prenuptial agreements don't help the situation either.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I agree. I rather be engaged forever then to get married. But who knows. I'm unsure what I want at this stage when it comes to the future with someone. And the rest of my life aswell

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  • Maybe because it's very mainstream and it's one way of depicting one's submission to a spouse.

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  • Without getting into details, I see marriage as a beneficial institution for society (from a secular point of view). I think that love is a strong foundation for it, but that alone will not sustain it.

    I admit that depending on where you're from, marriage law could dissuade you from getting married, especially because there is no longer a social stigma attached to divorce. The times have changed.

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  • just simply because they want to... no other reason needed.

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  • I have loved quite a few men, buy I only hope to marry one. It's more about the commitment to love than the actual love itself. It says that even when I don't like you I will still make finding a way to fall back in love with you my greatest priority.

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  • I don't think it's to prove it, but to justify that they have enough love and passion to stay committed to one another and work it through good and bad. To also, seal the deal that your only going to be with them foreverrrr. "They should be your only partner."

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  • I don't see marriage as proof, more or less as a larger commitment, a wedding to celebrate your love and a marriage to lock it in, marriage is more serious than a relationship, gives more reliability to fix problems instead of walking away

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  • Sad that anyone has to ask this question. People have become fearful of making commitments and do not want to have expectations put on them otherwise they are turned off. It really is sad.

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  • Not everyone is into relationships before marriage = p

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  • I want to get marry one day :) Not so soon.

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What Guys Said 6

  • How does divorce ruin a couple's lives any more than an unmarried couple? If you live with your girlfriend more than 1 year, you are a common-law couple and by law, your assets are considered combined. If you split, she is entitled to half of your combined assets.

    The value of marriage is not financial. It is social.
    An unmarried person in their 30's or 40's tends to be perceived as less stable by society. People who are married tend to get better career positions - particularly men. Marriage is a sign of stability, which is what employers want. It is an unsaid perception that is shared by virtually every society.

    Ever wonder why all elected presidents and presidential nominees are married?

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  • there are some tax breaks so that's one reason

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  • If people truly love each other why are they so afraid of proving it?

    Marriage is a game changer, according to every married person I have talked to. No matter how much you may pride your relationship on being "serious," it is still just glorified shacking up. It does not compare to marriage which is inherently the next step.

    If two people loved each other, then they would want to take their love to the ultimate level, to the last step so to speak. And that is what marriage is.

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  • Yes, you're right. There is no point in marriage, it's a stupid custom and it's illogical as well.

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  • I agree. I don't have a problem with it but in my opinion it is just some made up, unnecessary, pointless thing

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  • We humans tend to make contracts and seals to trust each other so it's essentially

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