My wife wants to go on vacation with a friend of hers... am I wrong for being upset? So my wife wants to go on a getaway to Europe with her best male friend. They've been friends for years (longer than I've known my wife). They call each other "best friends forever" and "big sis" and "little bro." He treats me with contempt and is always trying to minimize me in her eyes. He is ALWAYS around, and it seems my wife and I can't do anything without her wanting to invite this guy along. I've tried my hardest to respect her other relationships with people and not be a controlling jerk. But this guy bothers me. The thing that strikes me the most is that this guy has become more and more of a presence in my wife's life the closer we've gotten. It's almost as if he's competing with me for her affections and has stepped up his efforts to remain the #1 guy in her life as my wife and I have grown closer. Every time my wife does something, or goes on a trip with her girlfriends, he comes along. Both him and my wife are insistent that there is no romantic relationship at all. The thing that makes me so angry is that I have told my wife I would love to take a trip with her and she dismisses it as something she's not interested in. Now she's already booked her plane tickets to go to London with this guy in January. I'm at a loss and very angry. I just don't understand this, and part of me just wants to tell her to just divorce me and marry him. I love my wife so much, but it seems like she's more interested in spending time with her "best friend forever" than around me. What do I do? Should I leave her? It should be noted that I have tried to talk to her about this. She just shuts me down and tells me I'm being ridiculous, that this is "their thing" and I should just get over it. I've also confronted the "best friend" and he says that he's known her longer than me and that I should just BACK OFF, that I don't understand what they have and how special it is. Am I wrong for being angry and feeling like my feelings are being trampled on?
Most Helpful Girl
she is out of her mind
Tbh im not exactly sure that it is all platonic
And the problem isn't even your wife wanting to spend time with him
the thing is that she does not want to spend time alone with you
and to top that, her friend does not seem to respect you at all, which makes me question his intentions. also, your wife seems to be aware of it. And she does not put him in hs place? damn, id be pissed too.
I worry for ur marriage...4
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Most Helpful Guy
Honestly, Set your foot down. Tell her that this is not right, that you are her husband and she spends more time with this guy then you, that you wanted to take a vacation with her and she refused yet jumped at the chance to do so with another man, that she shuts you down everytime you try to bring it up and that this is the last straw if she does not care enough about you to try and just communicate with you try and understand why you would be bothered by this (which it should be painfully obvious) then your relationship is over. Frankly I would want to hire a private detective just to see if she isn't doing anything more (not saying she is but this is really weird and suspicious behavior). But yeah if she is choosing this guy over you her husband every single time then your relationship is doomed, she obviously doesn't think your a priority and she never will so long as this guy is around. If she can't see that then she doesn't care about you, not enough anyway. If you go the route of divorce, get an lawyer, find out what you have to do to insure that she doesn't screw you in this that you are as well off as possible, talk to the lawyer before you talk to her about divorce. Like I said if you can maybe even get a private detective or spy cams or something to see if she is cheating on you or not (I hope not but her behavioris incredibly suspicious). I'm sorry you have to be put through this.1