Why do people get married at all?

46% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Marriage is just a documented relationship, you can have the same thing by just living with someone and being bf/gf


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So that lawyers and event planners can make a shit load of money and add revenue to the economy. It was also invented because some male somewhere in history couldn't handle the fact that a woman isn't his property, then he used his power at the time to instill this "I own you" law and it was enforced ever since. And they lived crappily ever after...

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What Guys Said 22

  • Marriage is a very public declaration of commitment to each other that's celebrated by friends and family. While the future is uncertain and one can never tell whether the marriage will work out or not, making that commitment in the first place takes the relationship to another level.

    Marriage is often seen by employers as a sign of stability. This is also perceived by the public. Ever wonder why no president or prime minister is ever single? People perceive leaders as stable pillars, and marriage naturally comes with that. Married people are also given better opportunities, because they are less likely to do something stupid to jepordize their family and standing. The same isn't perceived for a single person or someone with a boy/girlfriend with no firm relationship standing.

    When you tell people you have a wife/husband, they think of you as stable.
    When you tell people you have a girl/boyfriend, they think you'll eventually break up and find another one.

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    • Married people have more opportunities yes. But why? Because someone made laws to make them seem more important even though they isn't. Being married is just like being gf/bf. It does not mean strength, security, and not doing something stupid to jeopardize their family no more than it does about being gf/bf. Married people can do the same thing gf/bf relationships do. It's just a paper

    • You may not value marriage, but most people do. There is also no such thing as a "law" to make marriage seem more important. Where exactly is there such a law in any place on earth?

      As I said before, marriage is just something that is perceived by most people as a sign of stability. Just as being well-dressed is a sign of wealth, education and prestige. And dressing like a slob is perceived as a sign of poverty, lack of social cues and poor education. You may disagree with the concepts, but you're unlikely to change the status quo.

      You are treated and judged by others by how you portray yourself. If you find yourself one day at 50 years old, with kids, still unmarried with the same girlfriend for 30 years, I can guarantee you that almost everyone will see you differently compared to a 50-year old married couple with kids that has been together for 30 years.

      It will affect how you're treated by others, whether you think marriage is a piece of paper or not.

  • that's so sad.
    To me, marriage is an agreement where you agree to be committed to love that person. It isn't a guarantee of anything obviously. It is constant work to learn how and to love that person, accept their flaws.

    Living with someone is a commitment to a space. I guess you could commit to them, but it is only as good as until they annoy you enough or someone changes their mind. women need security to have offspring and this certainly is not secure. That said, marriages fail as you've noted, so that isn't secure, but it should be.

    The real issue seems that people need better training, preparation, and support in marriages to be successful. I think... maybe... I hope...

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    • 1. People still agree to be committed while just being gf/bf. They learn to accept flaws and everything

      2. Anyone can change their mind even married couples. A man can still leave while being married to a woman with kids. Marriage doesn't guarantee he'll stay forever

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    • Nothing is wrong with it (It's nice), I'm just saying I dont see the point since girlfriend and boyfriend relationships can basically do the same thing except what the laws say they can't do because they think marriage is more important

    • would you agree that marriage is a higher level of commitment. That is, marriage means there was an exchange of $ and value, agreement to have a bunch of witnesses, friends, family secure their agreement, sign some documents? that's really what it is.

      I guess you could do most or all of that living together, why don't people? Then they'd at least have the same level of commitment:)

      Marriage doesn't gaurantee anything these days. I think it used to mean a lot more as people once married would stick it out til the end (grandparents).

      For me, if I really loved someone and wanted to be with them, I'd want a marriage commitment from me and from them. Living together just isn't a commitment although you can make it up to be, its just too easy to bail out.

  • I've heard many different answers. For some women it's about the wedding day. For other women it's about the commitment. And I agree with the second group. Making a public declaration of your commitment to a woman and sticking to it is more meaningful than just having a live in bf/gf playing house that will likely just end in a breakup and moving out to the next cohabitation. While I don't like all of the red tape. The fact someone is willing to follow through to that degree is much more powerful. Because of that I don't agree that it's the same thing to just move In with a boyfriend.

    Now you can do all the same stuff and you can be committed to it. But it's still not exactly the same.

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    • There's a saying called, "burn the boats".
      That's a colorful way of what marriage is compared to a live in bf/gf situation.

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    • No you didn't. You can't name things that being girlfriend and boyfriend do to make it seem like only married people can do. They can do the same thing, only difference is as I said, laws were made to make it seem more important (all the benefits married people get)

    • I never suggested I could or that they do. You've been insinuating that. What I said is that the difference lies within the level of commitment. Yes a live in bf/gf can be committed, but it's not the same level of commitment. That has been my point. How far they are willing to go to show that commitment. Marriage (atleast for a man) is "I'm willing to dedicate my love, loyalty and time to you and I'm so committed that I'm willing to get up on stage and publicly profes that love and devotion to you in front of our friends and family. And im willing to risk losing half of my possessions should it fail. That's how committed I am".
      The commitment the bf/gf have are "I'm so committed that I'm willing to not sleep with other people..". And if it doesn't work you just move out.

      I'm not saying that's bad. It's not in the least. But it's nowhere near the same level of commitment. That's all I've said.

  • It's stupid. It just makes people lazy anyways. When people think the other person is theirs forever they get lazy. It's a romantic notion but it doesn't work out in practice. The fact that your partner can find someone else should keep you on your toes and make you try harder. Your significant other deserves someone who tries to keep them.

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  • I was married for 20 years. I was with my ex wife 25 years and 4 days. Divorce was not my idea. She wanted it. I fought as hard as I could to save my marriage. I loved her as more on the day of the divorce as I did the day we got married. But one persons love can't hold a couple together. The process almost killed me. If it were not for my 3 sons, I may have given up. But I won't let them think that is what a man does. So I fight on.
    While I went through periods of thought that I would never be able to trust another woman again. and that I would never get married again. The fact is, I am someone that wants and needs a relationship. Being engaged is a lot different then just being a boyfriend/girlfriend. Just like being married is a whole level different then just being engaged. IT is a completely different level of emotional and physical commitment. So it is not the same at all.
    and that aside, you have tax benefits and other benefits you cannot have just being bf/gf.

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    • "Being engaged is a lot different then just being a boyfriend/girlfriend"

      So not true

      Yes there are benefits but that's only because whoever made those laws think its somehow more important than still being in a relationship ( which is being gf/bf)

    • not even close. I would have to guess you have never been engaged or married if you can say that. It is a completely different level of emotional attachment.

    • It isn't a different attachment but ok

  • Um... no you can't. Marriage is critical for legal reasons making you and your spouse each other's "next of kin" which means you get to make decisions for them if they are incapacitated, do not have to testify against them in court, are allowed to go to places that non-family members cannot. Are, by default, the beneficiary of any death benefits or inheritances from your spouse. Next-of-kin is a very big deal and, if you are in a relationship, the only way your partner becomes next-of-kin is by marriage.

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    • "Fuck this so called human nature. " LOL!! Honey you're going to have a very funny life as you discover what is meant by human nature.

    • Well human nature and rights are unfair so like I said... fĂșck them

  • The question is so deep and the answer is simple. Marriage is a huge contract and one should be careful before signing the contract because once couple have a child, it involves a third person who needs unconditional attention from either side for next 18 years or so. If you decide never to have child, then it is ok if you decide to marry and then to divorce in a single breath as long as either of you can sustain the emotional break down. So, life is short and try to make it sweet and be cautious while taking huge steps in life.

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    • Sense of marriage should bring more descipline and responsibility in life. If it is not so, its not worth to marry.

    • Being married is just like being boyfriend and girlfriend tbh. Only difference is its on paper and laws were made to make it seem more important

  • it deepens the relationship, it shows the will to stay together forever and, at least here... tax advantage

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    • boyfriend and girlfriend relationships can stay together forever too

    • Didn't pretend anything else.

  • there are benefits other than the relationship example
    cheaper taxes
    if married it might be cheaper for benefits (health ) for them
    if married car and house insurance is a little cheaper

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    • I know, thats because whoever made those laws think marriage is more important even though it isn't

    • yes the only reason why those laws are there is to try to get votes. since when it was enacted most couples of voting age was married.

  • They believe they will be one of the ones that don't end in divorce.

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  • That is not the way it was. Marriage used to matter and did not end. Divorce is a costly thing.
    Marriage was how people showed everyone that they loved each other above all others.
    Today hook up society is destroying that.
    In time this trend will reverse.

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    • Marriage didn't end because women were controlled and couldnt leave

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    • Marriage didn't end because divorce wasn't allowed by the Catholic church.

    • @tyber1 Exactly and in those religious beliefs, women were seen as property

  • you won't be able to visit your bf/gf in the hospital unless it's visiting hours.. as immediate family you can come and go whenever you please, and go w/ them to allthe procedures and scans... and stay over night...

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    • Thats because laws were made to make marriage seem more important than being gf/bf even though its the same thing

    • k.

      either way if you or your boyfriend comes down w/ cancer.. there's gonna be plenty of alone time.

  • Because it makes thing legally easier to do. There's plenty of people out there that are married for tax breaks, perks and all that but they have each othet

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  • Married couples are more legally responsible for one another. I'm talking about end of life decisions and those types of things.

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    • Thats because laws were made to make marriage seem more important than being gf/bf even though its the same thing

  • Aw you're so naive. ( no disrespect )

    You seem to have a poor understanding of the concept of marriage.
    I would advise you to look into marriage and reform your definition of marriage.

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    • I'm naive lol? Just became laws are made to make marriage seem more important than being bf/gf doesn't mean its better. A person can still break up with either one. You act the same. There's no difference at all except its on paper and the laws men made

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    • That was my point, laws were made to make marriage seem more important even though it isn't. Also, I'm Atheist

    • No dude...
      You really need to do some research, where have you got this idea from that marriage is useless?

      Here I'll start you off. Watch this video, some of the things stated in the video are debatable though.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZ6QB5TSfk

  • Yeah no woman is worth marrying nowadays, plus they usually get everything you worked for and custody of children

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    • Marriage isn't important as people make it seem. It's man-made anyways. Also I'm sure women feel the same way about you too

    • not illegal women, they want that citizenship :p

  • cause we have been thought marriage in a bad way
    and what it actually is

    is different from whats on tv

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  • Yeah marriage isn't worth it these days especially if you're a man.

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    • Lol I bet. Back in the days (when marriage was man-made) it was made to the men's advantage. Wives were property and now that men can't really control women like they use too, men are not seeing the point anymore

  • I agree... marriage as an institution under our current laws does not make much sense

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  • Beats me, I have no intention of getting married.

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  • Social custom.

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  • Because everyone thinks they're part of the minority that will live happily ever after. Better tax refunds. And tradition and media cramming it down everyones throats. I'm fine with not getting married but I know I'll have next to no chance of ever getting in a committed relationship if I'm against marriage so I'm going to have to get married begrudgingly.

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    • There's a lot of women that dont care for marriage

    • Send them my way.

What Girls Said 11

  • Because by that statistic 64% of all marriages work out. Still better odds than the divorcing options.

    Also, some people still value marriage and their vows. It's still important to some people. I don't think people need to be married, but to each their own. I personally do want to get married one day. I'm old-fashioned.

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  • that's what i say too! just a waste of time and money in my opinion.

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  • Well, I don't know about other people, but when I think about marriage i just look forward to the wedding planning, wearing a nice lace dress, and enjoying the actual day. If the man's rich i'll stay! Ha

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  • Religious reasons

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  • The only people staying married are really only religious people now

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  • (laughing)
    ... exactly!!!

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  • Tax benefits.

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  • It's the halal way to be together.

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  • . ur dumb sorry

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  • A lot of people get married because tax-wise it's better. And like me, I like being married. I like having his last name, and I like feeling "married". It's not for everyone, and it's not a fairy tale but no relationship is.

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    • I guess your last name wasn't important to you... weird...

    • Who said it wasn't important to me? and what if I hyphenated my last name and his last name? That's possible in this day and age, but I guess you wouldn't know... weird...

  • so they can be lazy and take less pride in themselves. so they don't have to worry about being left.

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    • Exactly! They're so stupid though because they can still break up (divorce)

    • (Exactly) assumptions are what kill the cat.

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