How likely is a guy to marry a girl who decides she wants to keep her Maiden name?

Heard an awful lot of talk from guys that they wouldn't bother marrying a girl who wouldn't take his last name Some say that because its traditional to take his name why would the bother with a traditional wedding and ceremony if traditions can be discarded. Other guys say it shows a lack of commitment from a future bride and that it would discourage them from commitment such as popping the question. While some guys I've talked to say it shows a kack of respect for the groom.
How likely is a guy to marry a girl who decides she wants to keep her Maiden name?

  • Not very likely
    9% (4)36% (25)26% (29)Vote
  • Likely
    16% (7)31% (22)26% (29)Vote
  • Depends on the guy
    65% (28)31% (22)44% (50)Vote
  • I dont need a man
    10% (4)2% (1)4% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
wow thought the not very likely percentage would be higher.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's funny how the traditional aspects of a man is kept like bending the knee... Or buying the rings but the traditional part of a woman is some sort of right? As long as my future wife doesn't expect me to do traditional things before and during the marriage I'm fine. But I don't accept hypocrisy.

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What Guys Said 31

  • I would not stay with someone that was not going to take my name. Esp if she was already married before and took someone elses name. it would be deeply insulting.

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  • Depends on her reasons.

    If she has a really nice sounding last name or it just means something to be able to keep it then Im fine with that. To go a step further if I thought her last name sounded really good with my first name then I would even consider taking her name. Im really not that attached to my last name so if hers sound better than mine then Im down with upgrading :p

    However if she wants to keep it just for the sake of breaking tradition or because she wants to "fuck the patriarchy" as some act of defiance just as a power play then I won't get involved.

    Also if she's the type of girl who cherry picks which traditions are valid, like she wants to break the tradition of taking the guys last name but keep the tradition where the guy is expected to blow tons of money on a ring she will never wear just to "prove his love and commitment" then I'd dump her.

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  • You needed one more option. The answer is "Don't marry such a douche." Such a guy is insecure - like a baby. You are your own person and, in principle, that's who he's marrying - you with your original name. By making you change your name, all that does is give him a sense of security and ownership and control of you.

    I say do this to a guy who wants you to change your name to his: "OK, I'll change my last name to what yours is now, but you have to change your last name to what mine is now. This way we are equally inconvenienced and controlling."

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    • I can imagine one would like to keep the family line alive?

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    • You are only 33 - still very young. You have no conception or memory of life before "test tube babies" which is what we called them. (These are babies conceived by in vitro fertilization.) The first test tube baby is Louise Brown from the UK born in 1978 and she is 5 years older than you. Medical science is advancing greatly now. We (men) will essentially be unnecessary toward keeping our species alive.

  • im traditional... so i would want her to take my name... but she can always hyphenate... its 2016... its a free world... kinda.

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  • I think it won't matter to most guys. If you hear it a lot it's because those are the more outspoken guys. Even with most older traditional guys it's not a big deal. They might be traditional in other ways, but not with the name.

    My ex was pretty traditional in many ways. But she used her given last name 95% of the time, and only rarely used my name. Personally I didn't care one way or the other. On the other hand, our son took my name. I think I would have objected to him taking her name, that just didn't seem right.

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  • Very likely, most guys don't really care. I don't care if she keeps her name or not.

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  • My wife uses her name as well as mine, according to circumstances. It's lawful here.

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    • Its lawful anywhere I think. Does she use like only in a professional context as many doctors and dentists do?

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    • If we attended balls, yes.
      IF...

    • Balls are great the biggee the better I find.

  • If she doesn't want to jain my family she doesn't want to join my family... There are other women in the world.

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  • If a girl doesn't want my name she sure as hell doesn't need a ring from me.. She's clearly an independent woman!

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  • My wife legal name is my last name, but she still uses her maiden name for business and stuff.
    Those guys who are talking are probably not even dating, know what I mean?

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  • Not likely. It kind of a red flag when it comes to marrying a woman that wants keep her Maiden name commitment wise.

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  • The wedding is off.

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  • we would talk about it and i would listen to her reasons for it. but in the end if i loved her it would be ok if she kept her last name

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  • depends on the guy. if she told me she was going to keep her last name i wouldn't break up but id call the wedding off.

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  • Everyone uses her maiden name since a century here. My grandmothers' mother did, but she was one of the first to do that. By the time of my grandmother married in 1953, everyone already did. And it is quite strange to me that it is not the same in the U. S., since women started voting waaaaay later here in Italy (1946).

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    • why did they start that?

    • Honestly I have no idea. I guess it has something to do with the egalitarianism in Republic after 20 years of fascism where women couldn't do basically anything but being wife and mothers.

  • I would not have a problem with her keeping her maiden name... it is her identity. As long as she is into sharing everything else, then it is all good!

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  • I'd be willing to marry a woman as such, as long as she includes my last name. If she wants, I'll include her last name with mine.

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  • Personally, I hate my last name so I wouldn't mind at all if she wants to keep hers. But if she does want to take my last name I'll be fine with it.

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  • Fuck traditions. I don't think that marriage has a point to it, but if I were to marry, no one's taking my name.

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  • I don't really care in-and-of itself, I would just wonder how much comittment she was expecting from *me* then...

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  • It doesn't matter to me, as long as our children don't have some awful hyphenated name.

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  • It's up to her. Her choice and freedom. I'm a modern thinker.

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  • I don't really give a fuck if she keeps her name

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  • That's because most will never bother ( ruining their lives), popping the question to start with! who cares?

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  • my moms name was Marie alis Brand
    alis being her last name an brand being my dads

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  • If you expect me to propose and buy a ring, you can take my name.

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  • If that tradition should be done away with so should the engagement ring tradition and family law that favors women. Mens commitment is through all that crap a womans is through the last name. That's frankly still less of a commitment since it can be rescinded so easily compared to the law that will chase men till they die.

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  • Gotta change the name.

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  • It would be a deal breaker. I don't see why she would care about the tradition of marriage, and then stomp all over it by not accepting the tradition of taking the man's name. It wouldn't be any different at all than just moving in together and not getting married at all.

    Most women that value the tradition of marriage, will also value the tradition of taking her man's name. Most of the women that don't want to take a man's last name, or claim it is sexist, are the same women that don't value marriage in the first place.

    Likewise most of the guys saying they are fine with it are either not interested in marriage, they are so desperate they will take any woman they can get and accept whatever her conditions are, or they are from a different culture with different traditions surrounding marriage. In our culture however the two traditions are so closely linked you are unlikely to find a man or woman that believe in one, and not the other.

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    • All true. Some of the guys I know thst said they would accept a wife not taking his name well they wouldn't exactly be exactly marriage material in my opinion and have desperate vibe around them, the kinda guys that are nice but I wouldn't date because I dont find them sexually attractive and am just willing to be friends with.

  • Why not just date in perpetuity?

    Wouldn't be a fan of that or her hyphenating. Kids would undoubtedly take my name if I am to take part.
    Seems the least women can do considering what they are generally getting, no?

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What Girls Said 11

  • my sister got married, has 2 kids and keeps her maiden name. My brother in law only cares if the kids carries his last name or not. They do so he is ok with that.

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  • I have many friends who decided to keep their maiden name or hyphenate their names together. So it's not entirely uncommon.

    I think you just need to find a guy who is okay with that idea.

    There are many circumstances where it makes sense to keep a last name. And you don't really have to have any reason other than wanting to keep it. It's your name and you get to do what you want in your life.

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    • what if you can't and you love a guy that refuses to accept that?

    • Then I guess you have to decide if you will be okay changing your last name? Sometimes for love we must make concessions so maybe that is what you have to do in this situation.

  • Honestly? If a guy is so adamant about me changing my name that is a pretty good indication he's not the type of man I want to be married to! I have several valid reasons for not wanting to change my name, but when it comes right down to it the only reason I need is "I don't want to". If a man can't respect my desire to retain my own identity he's got no place in my life.

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  • I think when a woman has made a name for herself in business circumstances, she should be able to keep her name.

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    • isn't that what many businesses women do such as doctors but still take their husbands name?

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    • I agree. But I guess everybody is allowed to have their opinion about it.

    • agreed.

  • When I am going to get married, I am going to keep my maiden name. My last name has a lot of family pride to it, and everyone who meets me is just in love with it, lmao. However, the man I am with now is okay with that, if we make it that long. Hell, he even said he will take my last night, then keep his own.

    I do think not many men would care if the a woman wants to keep her maiden name. I think there is more to getting married, then sharing a last name. :)

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  • I think a lot of guys like that sort of ownership and also the tradition of his wife changing or taking his last name. It shows that "She is mine" sort of thing without actually saying, a guy's possessive nature, I think is why.

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    • Would you take your husband's last name. Some of the guys here are saying its a sign of commitment to their marriage taking his last name as much as an engagement ring is a sign of his.

    • I would take it. I wouldn't completely change my last name, but I would add it on the end with a " - " purely because I love long names.

  • I don't think most guys care all that much

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  • "I ain't thirsty for no bae" as Fifth Harmony wisely sings. I'm good on me own, thank you very much.

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  • I don't think they care.

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  • During the six years I was married to my ex husband, I kept my maiden name.

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  • What is even the point of changing your name?

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    • what is the point of getting married? all that money for one day.

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