Did I make a mistake?

I am recently married to the love of my life. However I'm wondering if I made a mistake. We got married very quickly. During the time we dated I realized that he most likely won't be able to ever to make enough for me to be a stay at home mom when we have kids. It has always been important to me that I would be a stay at home mom when I have children. I am the breadwinner. I still married him and am convinced it won't happen and I'm not happy about it. I don't know what to do.

Updates:
Everyone in my family thinks we got married to soon. We got married 7 months after meeting each other on a dating site

0|0
6|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • you clearly married him for reasons other than the fact that he might be a bread winner. so essentially the question is which is more important to you and your happiness

    being with a guy you love
    or
    being the stay at home wife

    i think the fact that while dating you knew the potential financial situation and still loved him enough to marry him suggests that you valued the relationship you have over the potential of being a stay at home wife

    0|0
    0|0
    • My younger sister is engaged and getting married and since I'm older I wanted to be married first.

    • Show All
    • Completley agree with madhatter, life is like your car, you can't drive while looking at the side windows. Concentrate on your own life and dont compare yourself to other too much.

    • @123cheesecake GREAT analogy. i'm going to use that in the future.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you truly believe that he's the love of your life then you did not make a mistake and it'll be up to you to adjust your expectations in life. However, if you cannot make that compromise then yes I do question whether or not that was the right decision. Did you talk to him about this? Is he aware of your desire to be a stay at home mom once you have children? If he didn't know then I don't blame him, but you should talk to him and make it clear what you expect your futures to look like. And if he can change, great. If you can also, then that would be great too, but this needs to be talked about before you make any more large life decisions.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He knows I do and told me we would both have to work.

    • Show All
    • He doesn't make enough money to even support us on just his income

    • Yea but you're young right? Who our age makes enough money right now to fully support two people?

What Guys Said 5

  • Basically, yes, you did make a mistake. Financial and career considerations are just as important as anything else when choosing a life partner because love doesn't pay the bills.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes these idealistic things we want in life don't work out! However, if you think he would make an awesome father and he is a good husband, then you have to consider 2 out of 3 is not bad!

    1|0
    0|0
    • But I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom

    • Show All
    • Sounds to me like she has a good plan. Two years is a reasonable time to wait considering she is younger than you are. Best to be sure about these things first.

    • I was sure. Love at first sight. He was perfect. We never fought.

  • No, no no no no no no, fucking no.

    Women either get to complain about equal pay or they get to complain about men making enough for them to sit around at home. NOT both.

    Get together, make up your damn mind and pick one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do you think being a stay at home mom if more important than being with the love of your life?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Shouldn't you have given this a thought before putting the ring on?

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • 7 months isn't very long, so I see why they feel un-sure of but they aren't the ones who married him- you did :) so they can just sushh.
    Just have a super open and honest talk with him about it, maybe tap into community resources or the economic security office for your area? Or find a job you can work from home. Perhaps making something you can sell? I don't know I'm just throwing out ideas.

    0|0
    0|0
  • In the real world of today, stay at home mums are extremely few and far between.
    Of course you should have thought more seriously about all this before you married the poor guy.
    Might I suggest that you start broadening your approach to married life and values.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I did. And wanted to marry him. It was love at first sight

    • Show All
    • It strikes me that this has become very one sided indeed.
      You expect him to step up to the mark, but you are not prepared to compromise at all.
      That is NOT how a marriage works as you will sadly find out one day.

    • What do you mean. I compromise by encouraging him to pay off his debt and get an actual degree he can do something with

  • You married for the wrong reasons.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ouch. I don't know, this is something you should've discussed before even buying a ring.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well we wanted to get married very soon so there wasn't a lot of time

    • But still, it's very important to have some form of plan or else you end up in a situation like this one where you are sort of unsure what you should do.

    • Didn't think much about it because I wanted to be married before my sister

  • Wait it out sweetie. He may end up with a good job one day. Also, why don't you work until you have kids?

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...