How does marriage change the dynamics of a relationship?

So me and my so have been together for 6 years, we have a house together and other assets, we live together (obviously) were practically already 'married'. She wants to get married but I don't see the point in marriage, neither of us are religious so it wouldn't be for religious reasons, we own assets together and we're declared as a defacto. I don't see how our relationship would be any different (other than a fancy ring) after getting married. And if it's not for religious reasons than what is the point of it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh once your married it will change the feeling in a home in a good way and even better

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    • How so? Sorry for seeming ignorant but I don't see what could change. How would our feelings and daily routines be different from now to say a few months after getting married?

    • Your feelings and daily routines will not change for the most part, but it will defiantly feel more like a real home and that's just something that marriage dose

    • Thank you so much for the HMO

Most Helpful Guy

  • Once they are married officially, they think they have you trapped into a life commitment, and stop putting work into the relationship. Even though divorce is common, people still have this idea in their head that marriage is the highest form of commitment a person can make. If she wasn't hoping things will change, then getting married wouldn't be that important to her, after she has already gotten to this point, where you are basically married anyway.

    If you were planning to have children I would consider marriage more important, because it can give the child a stronger sense of security. Otherwise I don't see the point.

    You might check the laws in your state. You might be common law married already. A lot of places still have that, even though just about everyone thinks they got rid of those laws by now.

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What Girls Said 14

  • My fiancee and I are in the same boat. We own our house have a child together and we share everything. I'm not at all religious other then believing in God. But when he asked me to marry him even after being together for years it gave me a since of unity. That I will get to call this man my husband which to me this sounds more permanent then boyfriend and girlfriend. Even though taking a mortgage out with someone in its self says commitment. I also think people will take your relationship more serious even though you probably don't care what other people think. Not to mention that feeling a woman gets when she puts that wedding dress on that every little girl dreamed about. A wedding is a celebration of your relationship also think of this too. You may not have children yet but I have a son with my fiancee and I don't share the same last name as my fiancee. Yet again you may not understand but there's nothing like the feeling of belonging. Didn't you ever hear of a school girl writing miss's Aaron Samuels on it over and over dreaming of her wedding day and how it would be. In the United States a right of passage. Look at your gfs pinterest board and you will get a idea.

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  • it just takes the relationship to a level where they're more than just your partner. it's hard to explain though if you feel you can have the same things outside of marriage.

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  • For me, I want to make it official and have the celebration with friends and family, making a commitment together with them. I also think there is significance in committing to growing together for the rest of your lives, in sickness and in health, good times and bad.

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  • You should look up what rights and responsibilities come with marriage. One of the ones I'll add that affected my own like is the right to be next of kin in case something happens to one of you like a sudden accident or illness. Spouse is the next of kin. When it's an unmarried couple, more troubles come up with that.

    Beyond that, it's a symbolic thing. It's symbolizes the most serious level of commitment to each other. If placebo effect works on us when it comes to medication, symbolic things has an impact on us too. I think it makes a couple more willing to work things out vs relationships. That's how I personally feel.

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  • women want to get married because we want toooo
    every women well most of women want to get married because it feels good, feels special and wedding picture is very nice on the wall.

    Why guys dont understand this kindda thing. it is one of the most importance day of our life. i know it won't changed anything much in relationship but just a day celebration makes us feels special.

    just to do with special moment and stuff. i can't explain but i understand her very well.

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  • I kind of get what you are saying but I would like to get married because then he goes from being my super-longtime-forever-boyfriend to being family. my boyfriend would do anything for me and im sure he sees me the same way he thinks he would see a wife, and I love him for that but I want to be a wife not like a wife.

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  • some people feel like marriage makes them feel secure. I guess in a way it gives their relationship some kind of meaning and everyone in the history of humanity have gotten married it has nothing to do with spirituality. Im a Christian and have no desire for the western definition of marriage , i dont need a legal document. Church certificate is good for me.

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  • it is just a tradition and it is like the ultimate commitment.

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    • if sharing a 30 yr mortgage with someone isn't commitment than what is?

    • it is really just the thought behind it. If you think it will be the same either way then just give her what she wants. You apparently want to be with her for the rest of your life so I'd just do it. It doesn't matter to you and it will make her happy

  • Getting married makes it official, a proper relationship. Dating without intention to marry is really not a relationship at all, in that case you're just room mates.

    Do you plan to have children? In that case you'll need a stable home for them.

    Marriage shows you are dedicated to one another and promise to be loyal for life, if you're not married you haven't made that promise and so it's not really a stable relationship.

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  • When you're married it's like shouting to everyone "I love this person perminately and I'm not afraid to admit it to anyone" when you are dating you can easily just break up, but with divorce things have to be decided and finalized and split in half. A easy break up is not equivalent to the time it takes to divorce someone. Divorces take time to the point where you might decide that staying together is in fact worth it.

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    • People keep saying "because it's harder to end" but as I said in another opinion the divorce rate is at 50% so obviously it's not as hard as it seems to be. And also the fact that nearly half of marriages end in divorce kind of takes away the exclusivity of the idea, like if marriage is meant to be like the pinnacle of a relationship then why are people so blazay about it?

  • There are some things such as inheritance laws, insurance coverage, taxes and so on that go beyond taxes which could effect you if you're not married. There are a lot of legal aspects to marriage that do not exist in a non-marriage relationship. It could also be determined by the state you live in (if you are in the USA.)

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  • You become friends with more married couples.

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  • Takes more to get away is all. my now husband and I were together 9 years I finally caved n I regret it now even he's said it was the worst thing we ever did. but at the time I guess it was just peace of mind.

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  • You're in it together so gotta consider the other person more

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you put children into the mix, then marriage should be an absolute must. Just saying...

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    • Why is that? Not that we're planning kids anytime soon

    • Show All
    • The FIRST marriage is the one with the 40 to 50 percent divorce rate. Marriages overall? About one in four. Still higher than most countries, but successfully remarried people are still counted as "once divorced" in the 50% figure.

    • But in saying that it's contradicting what you said earlier because those 50% of marriages have ended, and if we broke up it wouldn't be as easy as just going our separate ways because we have joint assets, which is essentially what a marriage does

  • It makes the relationship more strong ( from the way that you makes it harder to divorce than just break up )
    And to do the official paper and for the money after you die where does it go
    And to relgions and traditions

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  • The difference is, depending upon where you live, you could assume responsibility for all of each others debts and you could lock yourself into lifetime alimony if it fails. Marriage is for suckers.

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  • Changes:

    1. You give a woman a loaded gun (divorce) she can use to threaten you when she doesn't get her way.

    2. Sex life dries up

    3. Women changes from fun, loving often to becoming increasingly naggy, and hostile towards you.

    4. You'll find many men who took charge and lead the relationship become passive.

    5. Things become more boring and domesticated.

    6. Many women stop trying to take care of themselves and get fat. (they own u at this point. If you leave them your life would be wreck so they have a safe guard against you).

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