My mom is cheating on my dad. What am I supposed to do?

I would really thank everyone who helps me with this.

I just found out that my mum (60+) is cheating on my dad with a young guy (21) who is one of her lowest level staff. She has been a very good daughter, mother, wife and perfect in everyone's eyes. I never expect such thing could happen. Seems she's crazy about the guy and I don't know what the guy is up to... probably money. No one knows that I know it. I don't know how to handle it. I knew a little that she and my dad are having issues with their sexual life and she's very lonely with no friends. At this point, i'm not going to blame her. My mum will feel so ashamed if she knows I know it - so I won't be able to confront her. I can't tell my dad. I don't want to let my other siblings know as they will be very heart-broken. I feel so heartbroken and alone. I think I should stop it before it escalates and things got ugly. But, I don't know how. Such things are taking very seriously in the society we live in. Her name will be dead if this becomes public.

I can't sleep whole night and I don't know what to do. Please help :'(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to tell her that you know about it. And tell her to stop, or you will tell your dad about it.

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    • Thank you for your suggestion. I'm worried that she will do something silly when she knows someone (me) knows about their affair. :(

    • Does not matter if she does something silly, she's committing adultery

    • Thnk you for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • Please message me. I was in a very similar position, different in terms of the details.

    My mother cheated. I worked out months before my dad did, and none of my brothers knew. I would rather not discuss details publicly of either our sides so please, drop me a message. I don't bite and understand completely.

    Chin up hunny. We'll get you through it.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I think at 60+ she's earned enough stripes to "cheat". Also this isn't your business, for all you know, she had an agreement with her husband.

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  • Since you're all adults, why do anything? I realize that it could quite possibly escalate and get worse but that's not your responsibility to do something about? If you do anything, I agree with everyone who said "talk to your mom". I think talking to your dad or anyone else about it is just going to make it blow up. Talking to your mom about it might not change anything, but there's not much to lose in that case either. If you don't approve of her behavior but she won't change then maybe have consequences just to protect yourself from drama, such as being more distant from her.

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  • You're over 20 years old and you still care what your parents think? I mean I know you're supposed to care about them on some level but they've pretty much served their purpose in your life so why do you care if you hurt their feelings? Tell your mom that you know about it and demand that she tells your dad or else you will do it for her.

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  • Talk about it with your mom first and gauge her response. Its up to you if you want to tell your dad.

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    • Thank you for your reply. I think she won't take it easily and my relationship with her will never be the same again after that conversation. Thank you for your suggestion though.

  • I think you have to talk to your mom and tell her that if she doesn't tell your dad about the affair you will because he deserves to know

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  • Honestly in that case,
    Open marriages often occur late in life is what I've heard,
    It may actually be an arrangement between your parents in your case

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    • It seems she is sneaking around so my dad definitely doesn't know about it. But, maybe they have arrangement between them. My concern is what if the guy (21) is with her just for money and insincere to her. :(

    • Talk to your mom, ask her if she has an open marriage, if the answer is no, then tell dad

    • There is NOTHING wrong with an open marriage.
      Some very good friends of my family have one and they are very much in love.
      Hell the last president who was both a good man and an effective president JFK had an open marriage

  • Nothing. There's nothing you can do. Well, tell a priest anon.

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  • I think going to her would be the best thing to do

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    • Thank you for the suggestion.

What Girls Said 5

  • Speak to the man and tell him that if he doesn't leave it will ruin your family. Tell him that if he isn't prepared for the fall out of that (which might also mean your mum moving in with him) then he should end it asap. If he does not then you will have to confront your mother and give her an ultimatum. If she does not finish things with him then you will have to tell your father. Whats right is right afterall.

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  • You must confront her... Thats the best thing to do. Maybe if she feels ashamed she would stop doing it? Or, u can tell it in an indirect way. Go to her and tell her a " story" you heard of your "friend" of a wife cheating on her husband with a 21 guy. She might be more ashamed and that could have a bigger impact on her not doing it again coz she saw how bad it sounds.

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  • Tell your father, your mom is a selfish wicked woman who doesn't deserve to be married.

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  • try t get screen shots or pics of them together... or his pic

    send them from an unknown number and tell her you know and will tell her husband and entire family.. nd his family as well if this doesn't stop

    dnt talk dont asnswer any questions

    if she ignores... send another one telling her you know they are together... or send a pic of your dad and family to her job,,,,, w. e that would freak her out

    dont get emotional...

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  • Tell her you know and tell her what you think of it.

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    • Thank you for your reply.

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