Should I leave my wife?

I am 27 years old and so is my wife. After marrying her, she started to reveal her true self. She started to say rude things to me, hit me if I spoke to another female, and became overprotective of our 3 year old son. My wife also controls my finances and prevents me from buying things I like and often limits the kinds of toys my son can play with. My wife also stopped having sex with me.

A month ago, I met a 22 year old at a club, while my wife and son were visiting in laws. I kissed her and we had the best sex ever. I vowed to stop seeing her, but, admit that I still love her and want to be with her. The 22 year old also treats me and my son better. But, I fear the high price of divorce and/or hurting my son due to divorce. What do I do now?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you aren't happy why stay... plus it's not fair to your wife even though she treats you bad to cheat on her. Leave her try to have some common ground about your son. That's the tricky part who's going to get custody? I'm sure she'll want to fight for him too. If you can prove to the judge if you get a divorce that she's abusive then you'll have more of a chance of having custody. And are you sure you love the 22 yr old and she's not just someone to take your mind off your wife? It's a lot to think about take your time with your decision

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people will say rude things at some point in a relationship. I don't know what you mean by overprotective of your son. I think it's reasonable that she would want to protect her son though. One partner preventing another from making expensive purchases is very common. Money is limited so I can understand a person being concerned about it. She may try to control your finances because of concern of you spending it frivolously. She probably stopped having sex with you because of your issues. That makes sense.

    I don't understand the way she hit you. Maybe she smacked your chest with the back of her palm? Or maybe she punched you in the face? Any kind of hitting isn't ideal but she probably did it because she was concerned you may flirt with those girls. Given that you had sex with another women, maybe she could sense something some possible danger signs. I don't know.

    You two clearly have some issues. She isn't perfect, but I bet if you talked to her, instead of having an affair, there was a good chance you could have figured out the reasons behind your issues. Maybe you want to move on. I don't think you two can't potentially repair your issues, but you cheating made the situation worse. She may not want to try after that. If you want to try to repair your situation, I'd recommend some therapy and being open with her about what happened and listen to her more.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I don't understand why anybody would side with you and even go as far as to call your wife a bitch. You chose to marry her and have a child with her, that's your own fault. We all have choices in life. It's not always easy, but there should have been some ground rules from the beginning. Also, you cheated, you get no slap on the wrist or an "aww" for that. You couldn't separate from her? A clean seperation and a divorce that shortly followed. You could've moved on and done what you wanted. But you CHOSE to stay and you CHOSE to cheat. Not cool at all...

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    • While I agree with your cheating remark, the other part not so much. If a woman was in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship you would not tell her its her fault you just wouldn't.

    • @hellionthesage I would say the same thing

  • You should get a divorce, but I would question your relationship with this younger woman. You're in a highly vulnerable and emotional place, starting a new relationship isn't a good idea.

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  • Divorce when your son is still relatively young, I feel it'll hit him less. Stop letting your wife control your finances

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  • Yes divorce your wife

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  • Does your wife know about this women? And we're you flirting with girls when she hit you?

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  • So in a month you had sex with her, fell in love with her and determined she's good with your son?

    Gtfo.

    Anyway, divorce your wife. She sounds like a controlling bitch.

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  • I say that she is being a such to u... u need to dump her fast.

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  • If you cheated on her, you don't love her. Both of you are in the wrong. Should you divorce her or not? Well, that's your choice. You both sound unhappy and if i were in your shoes i would leave.

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  • I love these stories - I wonder why your mrs feels the need to control everything maybe because when she has trusted you to do those things you didn't manage and maybe when she limits things it's to stick to your household budget of what you both and your finances can afford !

    I'm sure if you acted like a man you would be treated as such and not like the whiney "pity party me" little bitch you sound on here!
    be a man and tell her and why take your child away from it's mother when she is obviously a very capable parent who runs the home finances etc

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  • Yes. Break up with her. She's abusive. You and your son deserve better.

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    • She's abusive, but he's allowed to go out and cheat on her? Did anybody catch that? Or is it alright since he has a penis?

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    • "Abusers don't deserve any better", because I hit my husband for talking to other women I'm now abusive, great. Okay so it's okay for my husband to talk to other women. Wow... you're insane.

    • @Queen_naki5 it's talking to people, so what? Talking to people is a normal every day interaction. You're the insane one here. Your poor husband. Does he also have to look at the ground when women walk past? What happens if he goes to pay for something and the cashier is a woman? I don't blame your husband if he cheats on you either. Nutter.

What Guys Said 3

  • Damn, that sure sucks horribly for you. You're pretty much fucked now because of the whole divorce laws thing and moreso because you are legally and financially responsible for your son. If you did not have a kid with your current wife, then the split would not be as bad, but now I don't really think you have much of a choice other than to just either go through the divorce and face the consequences for it or don't and continue to have affairs on the side until your wife gets suspicious and possibly catch you for it and which will also result in a divorce eventually anyway.

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  • Yes , get rid of her.

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  • I think any male signing a marriage contract in our day and age hates himself.

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