Am I being unrealistic about my dream proposal?

Summary: My boyfriend and I have been talking engagement for a while. We've looked at rings, and we're both serious.
I've always wanted to be asked this way. 'After a romantic night we find some privacy and my boyfriend surprises me with an animal. And on the tag it's a heart that reads "Will you marry me?"'

Am I being unrealistic about my dream proposal?

At first I wanted a silver Persian kitten with green eyes.

Then a bulldog puppy.

Then, I decided I didn't want a fancy pedigree pet, I wanted an older shelter pet, someone that had been in the shelter forever, or someone on the kill list.


But that's just not possible right now because I have rats, and I don't want to add a pet because of them, rent increase, and my roommate has a dog.

Everyone thinks I want something crazy and grand. And he fears if he doesn't get it 'right' I will be disappointed and may even say no (which I would never).

I don't think I want anything over the top, we've always said we wanted to get pets together.

Now, I don't know what I want though because that's always been my dream. A pet and a fiance :) But I won't ask for it because I won't inconvenience him.

Any ideas, he really wants to know. We plan on not getting married for at least a year and a bit. And we plan on living together next August once I graduate.

Big no's
-crowds
-at dinner

Big Yes
-private
-captured on camera (preferably to look at forever)

  • You're being over the top, crazy, and unrealistic.Am I being unrealistic about my dream proposal?
    24% (8)54% (15)37% (23)Vote
  • You're not being unrealistic, but you need to think of something else.Am I being unrealistic about my dream proposal?
    15% (5)32% (9)23% (14)Vote
  • Your dream is your dream, can the proposal wait?Am I being unrealistic about my dream proposal?
    61% (21)14% (4)40% (25)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Guys-most of you think I'm unrealistic, why? Is it the fact it's a shelter pet or are any wishes from your potential fiance unreasonable?
To everyone b*tching and judging and saying sh*tty things, my boyfriend ASKED what I wanted. I said that in the question. The original title for the was "Help Visha, pressed into telling about proposal" But I deleted that because I wanted to be more lighthearted.
We're at a standstill because apparently I'm being too vague and he WANTS to know more details.
Thanks for being judgmental dicks and b*tches in an already stressful time, and thank you, truly, to everyone who suggested something :)

0|0
13|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't get too worked up over it or you'll break your own heart. Worry about things like if your boyfriend would be a good husband/father and if you would be a good wife/mother rather than superficial things :)

    2|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • My cell phone kept fucking up over what I was trying to say. XD

    Okay since y'all can't afford a real pet atm, why not by a plush version? Then put the collar on it asking you to marry you. So then the plush toy would be a promise to buy the real cat/dog breed that the toy is based on.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • Compared to some dream proposals I've heard of, yours ranks fairly close to normal. and by normal, i mean doable enough without making a guy like me puke mid process. So no, its not realistic enough. There are some girls whom I've met that have told me their dream proposals and just because of that, earned a permanent seat in the friend zone. they can find another schmo.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yea, I think some people put way too much emphasis on something huge and grand, it's normal to have a dream, but since the guy usually does it, I think women should be considerate.

    • Like you said..."since the guy does it..." which means the woman can dream all she wants. I tend to make it clear that if something is a fantasy, it remains a fantasy...

    • @maryapple So, your sister gets a ring and you are the excited one? interesting.

  • On one hand, i wanna be like... perhaps you two should hold off for a few years. You are already having problems with your relationship and a ring isn't going to change that.
    On the other hand, i want to say follow your dreams and don't think about the possible outcomes and just live for the moment.
    Here is the deal about animals. They are like children and you must have time to play with them and be with them, if you can't make a good environment for yourself ontop of having issues with jobs how can you make a good environment for your baby (pet). I think proposing to save a relationship is a bad idea, i think you both need to learn to communicate first and well together rather than fairy dancing around hoping something will pick up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its way to specific. Its not un realistic tho. And if you were to tell him this than as soon as something happens you go out and you'll know lol. Thats ruins the fun. Yeah you know it's gonna happen sooner cuz your looking for rings and stuff but he still wants to surprise you. 😜

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think its unrealistic, but that is a very... specific request, so he will have no idea that's what you want unless you blatantly, outright tell him (which kinda spoils it).

    0|0
    0|0
  • Since you're crazy, LOL how about a Lama;-P

    cdn.modernfarmer.com/.../alpacayawn1.jpg

    0|0
    0|0
  • The way the numbers are looking, you should be extremely thankful that you have a man willing to propose to you at all.

    MGTOW can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel remorse or pity or fear and absolutely will not stop, EVER - until marriage is dead.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ayyyyy. I don't give into the estrogenic inducement of those pictures but grats.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not realistic but it's awfully specific
    I hope he's well up to date

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • Umm, well it's a dream proposal, as you said. and you're allowed to wish for anything. However, it's very specific.. A proposal's beauty is all about the feelings and the magic of the moment. In my opinion, It can't be nice to plan it like some calendar event :( it sucks the romance from the whole thing. Anyway, I hope you do get the proposal you want, but if you don't, just appreciate your partner's words, and gesture and the fact he want's to spend the rest of his life with you. :) yaay!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I have never really heard of a girl having anything to do with it or any input. Personally I would just like to be proposed to, no expectations and let him choose what he wants to do for it if he should want to do it. I think wanting to marry someone is big enough. You can get pets later on when in a more suitable scenario or even once married and go pick them together etc.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't get it, you know it's going to happen, you're planning it but you want to be surprised?

    I'm sorry but this manufactured romance stuff is just really really lame. I'm sure it makes for a great Facebook or Instagram post but seriously, how contrived. Just get engaged, why all the hoo-ha?

    0|0
    0|0
    • If I don't know when it's going to happen, wouldn't that be a surprise? :)
      And you brought up social media, I'm pretty sure I said I didn't want crowds, so, no, I don't want to blast my proposal all over social media.
      I don't see how getting a cutie pie shelter pet from my boyfriend is hoo-ha? Yea, it's not as easy as him just bending on one knee, but does that make it manufactured romance?

    • Well... it will be manufactured, the fact it's planned... I just don't get it. I wish you all the best though, I hope you're both incredibly happy together :)

  • This sounds normal definitely not over the top. My dream proposal would be a taking a walk on a beautiful day in a quiet park, he pops the question when we come to a park bench.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it's unrealistic to have any kind of guidelines you set for your boyfriend to follow for a proposal. To me it's about commitment to one another and wanting to build a future together, not about materialistic stuff. If you want to get a pet together, get a pet. Setting any "rules" for and planning a proposal kinds of ruins the moment for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • its a cute idea... maybe talk to your boyfriend about it ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you have rats, cats will definitely scare them away.

    0|0
    0|0
    • lololololol, like pet rats, not rats in the house. But I fear, the cat or dog would go up to the cage and bite them/get bitten.

    • Lmao I'm sorry.
      If it's any consolation, I used to have a pet bird and that I never caged, and my cats didn't attack it.

    • I do understand your concern and your proposal sounds awesome!

  • All you're after is like some gigantic cinematic moment. It's going to be memorable no matter how he proposes, unless you love him so little that you would only marry him for his ability to make grand gestures.

    0|0
    0|0
    • How is getting an old cat, alone (hence private) chasing after a grand cinematic moment? Wouldn't it just be an animal lover's dream?
      And also, where is it indicated that he needs to do it like I dream of, I'm pretty sure I said I wouldn't bring it up because I don't want to inconvenience him.

    • Someone suggested a stuffed dog or cat instead of a real one, and I thought that was great (and even said so under her answer)

    • Because it's a huge cliché.

  • girl stop live in your dream world

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol this is so funny.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He could put the tag on one of your rats?

    0|0
    0|0
  • What's the rush? Already thinking about marriage at 21? Are you sure marriage is a huge responsibility just because you think it's great now you don't know how it will be later on. Give it a few years you guys become mature to start worrying about marriage and kids.

    0|0
    0|0
    • My sister got married at 19, I think it runs in the family, haha. We would definitely stay engaged for a bit, probably until I'm 23.

      And no kids just yet, I've got to finish graduate school first. Education comes first.

    • Wow I commend her on that because I would want to live my life the way I wanted and no adjust it to others needs until I'm in my late 20s when I'm mature and I have accomplished things. But it takes about 4 years to really know someone and the if you live with them then you're getting to know the person all over again.

    • Lol, trust me, she paved the way for teen marriages in the family, but it wasn't necessarily all roses. I agree with you on a lot of what you said.

Loading...