Guys, how long does it take you to realise you want to be with a girl long term/marry her?

And what qualities should she have to make you feel this way? I know this differs for each individual but I would just like to get a general idea. Thanks.


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20

Most Helpful Guy

  • It takes time. usually 2 years

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What Guys Said 19

  • One night of passionate sex will do this if there's the right kind of mental connection in the bedroom and a feeling like we're kindred spirits in this kind of sexual/physical context.

    Of course it's not like I ask her to marry me after we've first had sex while cuddling in the bed, but that's when I tend to get some level of realization that this is a girl I want in my life, that we have something special together that doesn't compare to the other women I slept with.

    Only two women have had this effect on me among dozens though. Sex to me is the ultimate test where I discover whether I just "like" a girl and think she's hot or "love" her and want to make her permanently mine.

    That said, marriage for me is something I do on a practical basis. I married my wife when I wanted a house and settle down because my career was at a good point. I didn't marry for romantic reasons.

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    • So for me, I'd say it only takes 1 night to plant the seed from which those kinds of feelings of love grow. Of course it takes quite a bit more than 1 night of passion to reach the peak of this feeling that I'm incomplete without her, but it's where it all begins.

  • Another time really doesn't come into play question. No two time frames are the same TBH. No two people get to know each other at the same rate. One couple may decide within a month to get married while the next may take forever. If you feel that you know someone well enough that their quirks and differences fit well into your life then that is your time frame. However the guy in your eye may not yet have decided if you fit into his just yet

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  • she has to be the type of girl a guy wants in every way, and its difficult to explain because everyone has there own preferences.

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  • That's my goal in every relationship, I can't stand people who don't date with marriage as the potential goal. Anyway she has to be physically attractive, call it shallow I don't care my girl needs to look beautiful; slender frame and petite and very beautiful facial features and eyes or I don't consider them for dating. Then she needs to be the kind who wants something real and believes in God, then she has to be able to have some fun and be outgoing at least with me, I don't care if she's generally shy but I want her comfortable around me. I know my standards are high but I only need one.

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  • Having been married twice, and divorced twice, I usually fall in love very quickly, if the chemistry is there for both of you it happens, you don't control it. Unlike when you have a great relationship but not with marriage in mind.
    But, if your partner tries to change you after marriage, it can fail! I was married for around 12 years each time, and each time, after a few years they tried to change my basic lifestyle. Bear in mind I am a nudist, I live naked as much as possible, and I met my second wife in a nudist club!

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  • Maybe a year? I look at my friends marriage as an example and he married in a year and he has the marriage I would only dream of having.

    I look for chemistry. Compatibility. mutual attraction. morals and same belief in Jesus.

    She'll be someone that won't make me compromise and won't challenge my moral values or convictions.

    She doesn't smoke or drink alcohol or club because I don't do these things. I curse sometimes when I hit my self accidentally or something, I don't regularly curse in conversation with others and I'm looking for someone the same as me.

    Those are my main ones

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  • As clichéd as it sounds I believe I would sense it. With previous girls I sensed something missing. Also I didn't feel like I wanted to spend my life with them. As for how long, maybe I'd know in a couple months to a year. Sure I know that people can surprise me but at the moment I haven't been yet.

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  • I have once listed what I would expect from a girl for her to be a girlfriend material and I was told it isn't even much. One of the important things is matching high sex drive and no self-destructive behavior.

    Long term relationship? Sure
    Marriage? Never

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  • It's hard to explain. Mainly she has to be kind, caring and polite.

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  • About 5 minutes. Although sometimes its in vain so 10 minites should be enough.

    It doesn't take years, I dont want the perfect woman (cause she doesn't exist) just someone i get along with

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  • I don't know really

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  • 5 years.

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  • All you need is love

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  • At first i would say right away. But then u get over someone so you have to know them for a while. 1-2 years i would say

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  • A few years?

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  • I wouldn't know. Never been with a woman long enough.

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  • It's not about time, it's about connection. You're not going to understand that until you're in your mid-twenties.

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  • 2 years, or when the time feels rite

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  • I would say a year.

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