I know you probably have not cheated but do you often see attractive men and wonder what sex would be like with them. I know I can't touch, but I can look. After 15 years, the sex gets boring. I often fantasize about mind blowing sex with hot guys.
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I'm in a similar boat, not quite as extreme as you, but I've found ways to mix things up and keep things interesting. A lot of married women (close female friends) have also confessed a similar thing to me.
I don't really "wonder" what it's like to have sex with all the beautiful girls around me all the time. I got that out of my system when I was younger. I slept with enough beautiful girls to no longer wonder what that's like. I know what it's like. However, beautiful girls do kind of stimulate me, wet an appetite.
Also if I stop and think about it, none of that would have ever been worth jeopardizing a marriage with the one woman I could get along with and be affectionate and intimate with above all the other trail of women I left behind before I found her.
That said, for me the main challenge is to just kick-start the mood for me to have sex with my wife. Once I'm there, it's great.
But sometimes the thing that does it for me is seeing pornography or something. I still have enough of a libido to at least have sex once a day. Tricky part is making sure I can trigger the mood (porno is guaranteed, lingerie is almost guaranteed, being away from her on a business trip for a week is guaranteed, having her lie next to me naked is almost guaranteed) at the same time my wife is in the mood.
Anyway, I think what you're going through is kind of normal. I would say "wondering" too much might be bad, and I'd also question your loyalty and devotion and affection and emotional bond with your husband if you're dwelling on this too much.
But a slight flutter here and when seeing someone else who is very attractive seems normal to me. Monogamy to me is like sticking on a diet plan for the rest of your life. It takes commitment and love and devotion and, above all else, sacrifice.3