Why is marriage so important?

I was reading a post on here and it was 3 unforgivable sins of a relationship and the first two were understandable. first was domestic violence, second was cheating and the third was not getting a ring in her late 20s/early 30s? she lost me there. how is that unforgivable? thats just so shallow. Can we all agree that a wedding is not an actual change in how much two people love each other? If you love someone something materialistic like a ring should not stop you nor should it be ''unforgivable'' and no, being married does not make you love a person anymore than you do and it does not show more commitment. if you really have to prove that you are committed and love someone by being married then that person who is questioning your relationship for the lack of the proposal is just not worth it. he/she would be ungrateful for doing such a thing to somebody who loves them


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't see the importance of marriage. I mean, it started off as ownership and I just don't appreciate that history. Besides, signing a piece of paper and having a huge wasteful ceremony doesn't prove your love for anyone.

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What Girls Said 16

  • I don't think it is. It's one of those things where I'm indifferent to the concept of marriage. I don't specifically want to get married, but I don't specifically despise the concept of marriage either.

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  • Okay, this is a bit too much here. Number 1 marriage is important to those who find it important to them. One thing people need to remember that is marriage is all about change. It changes you from being a selfish person to an unselfish person. But it's all about surrendering your will and your wants for the needs of your spouse. If this is not something you can find yourself doing, then it is best that you don't get married at all. Some people are fit for marriages, and others are not. Some are not ready to get married yet, while others can marry at 18, and have years of a satisfying marriage life. So it really boils down to what is your morals, values and standards for a relationship in the first place. However marriage is not about happiness, but growing and learning to love your spouse, so that you can build a marriage on the value systems you set in place. It is not a house, a ring, a car, other whatever you put it, not even money. Marriage is two human beings, two people, you and that person, building a family and extending the family line.

    However if the person you are dating wants to be married at a certain time and you don't, then she is at liberty to find somebody else who shares her views on marriage. And you are at liberty to find somebody who shares yours if this is not what she wants. Nobody does not have to force you to do something that you do not want to do. That is how I see it. So at this point, it doesn't matter what you think or what she thinks if you two are not in an agreement with this in the first place. The reality is at some point you do need to prove something to the person you say you love. Marriage is a major transition in life the same way moving, college, having a baby, death of a love one and getting a new job is a major transition. But marriage is nothing like dating. It is on a whole new level and a lot different atmosphere and environment. And it is not something to be played with. If you cannot find yourself having such a future with that person, somebody who you refuse to submit to as a spouse in all things. Than that relationship is not for you, and if you end up getting married regardless with such a selfish way of thinking, your going to head down the path to divorce. That I can guarantee you if you don't change and accept changes. That is part of life, or life is going to force you to deal with them.

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    • marriage doesn't vindicate someone being selfish or not. I can marry you and cheat but because I agreed to getting married I am somehow making a commitment? No, I make a commitment when I start a relationship and I dont love some one any more or less if I were to marry that person. If a person will not commit to somebody just because of marriage than that person never loved you. A piece of paper does not vindicate change. If you love someone you love someone period. A marriage is nothing more than financial and legal stability within a couple.

    • @Asker First of all, when I say that I want to marry a person it is out of love. Marriage is how you make it. So if you believe that marriage is that, then its best that you don't get married. Because you sound like somebody who sees marriage as a life sucking institution when it isn't. Marriage is between you and the person you chose to marry. If you marry for all the wrong reasons, its going to fail for the wrong reasons. Plus I would have known way before dating you if you was going to cheat or not. I pay attention to detail, observe ones attitude, etc. You sound like your just not cut out for it. For me it is a life long commitment. I am a family oriented person. I can never be with someone who doesn't want that kind of future with me. I can love a person, but it doesn't mean I have to be with them. The choice is yours.

    • so lets get this straight, since I dont want a piece of paper that vindicates who I love that means im not committing to you? How does starting a family correlate with being wedded? Do people not understand how superficial all of that is? if a person loves you they love you, a ring won't change that

  • It depends on the person honestly. For some people, marriage is super important and the end goal of any relationship, but for some it's not really important, and more for convenience than anything. That said, I definitely think saying that not proposing being a deal breaker is silly, especially if the person was claiming that applied to all relationships. Like, marriage isn't for everyone, and really that's something the couple should talk about before even getting engaged or anything. So while I think it's fine if people think marriage is super important, I really don't think that's the only way of looking at it at all.

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  • Strongly disagree. While a ring and wedding are trivial things and not needed, I think a marriage definitely shows more of a commitment. It is two people saying I only want you, and I want all of you, the good and the bad, and when times gets rocky which I know they will, I am here to stay and fight for you and with you even if one of us has our back to the wall, know that the other still has our back.

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    • so when in a relationship that whole ''I only want you, and I want all of you, the good and the bad, and when times gets rocky which I know they will, I am here to stay and fight for you and with you even if one of us has our back to the wall, know that the other still has our back. '' doesn't apply. are you trying to say that marriage makes two people love each other more? It doesn't, it is just for show. if someone is serious about a partner from the start then they do no need a wedding to prove how much they love that person. I have no problem with starting a family, that is something that is a REAL milestone in someones relationship, not a society drive, wedding that holds on weight when it comes to love. If you are in a relationship the better or worse, good and bad should always apply if you love that person.

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    • ok fine you win lets get married

    • Already hitched bruh.

  • in one sense a marriage could mean a commitment to be together forever, bound by law (forever in some countries), some people believe this is more like a shackle than anything else which is understandable (especially since divorcing often ended up with dividing of assets and child support, which to some extent could be avoided with a prenuptial and cohabitation agreement) while others believe that this is more of a devotion to your partner, which is rarely true in today's generation of people (makes me kind of jealous of those 90 year old couples that are still together after all that time)

    marriage was created by the church as a way to prevent men from fighting over women, but at the same time it was a shackle for women to be bound to the man whether she liked him or not, and for generations that was the truth, but in the last 50 years the table has seemed to have turned, now its more and more common for men to believe that they are the one bound by women, especially since the majority of married women are unemployed, but there are still cases of the classic depiction caused by arranged forced marriages

    the concept of a marriage was deemed mandatory and sacred to the church but alternatively marriage can also be made through legal means, but it was always an artificial constructed means of possession (of course this depends on the couples rational mindset)

    as far as i'm concerned marriage should not be something people should do or have to do, but something the want to do together as a sign of devotion and commitment for eachother, it should never have to be something that is mandatory

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  • I've been living with my boyfriend longer than a lot of marriages last. I don't feel the need to announce to the world in some legal capacity that I am committed to my partner. We know what the score is, the rest of the world knowing that doesn't make us more committed, it doesn't strengthen our bond. Our promises are made to each other, not to others.

    I have no need for marriage, others obviously require a symbolic gesture before committing to their partner or require a legal contract to remind them to stay committed.

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  • for me it's just not another level of commitment. I'd be uncomfortable buying a house with someone I wasn't married to. I feel if you're not married, you're kinda keeping your options open, so you're not setteling down. And think of medical emergencies, retirement and that kind of stuff. Being married you have much higher status in the eyes of most people and instituions

    I didn't read the post, so I don't know her reasoning, but I think maybe what she meant was that most girl want to get married and if you don't and don't make it clear you are wasting some of her best years

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    • so you think marriage is more of a financial stability and has nothing to do with love? If you love someone and they love you wouldn't you consider yourself settled down? A marriage won't stop a douche from cheating on you.

    • Well marriage is what is is, a legal contract that will come with financial and social consequnces if you break up. So no it won't stop somone from cheating, but it will come with consequences if he does. Ask tiger woods. And that's part of the point that you're so commited to someone that you're willing to make it legally binding.

      No I wouldn't consider myself settled down with someone I'm just dating, it's not the same. It's like you're always leaving the door open to leave. I would never buy a house with, move for or have children with my boyfriend, only my husband.

      And let's face the law gives you plenty of advantages being married. If I was married to someone with my own income we'd had have 300 euro more a month.
      My uncle died young and never married my aunt, but they had a kid and house together and it was nightmare. She wasn't even allowed to see him in the hospital because they weren't related. She didn't inherit his part of the house, their daughter did

    • who was 6 years old. But you can't legally own a house if you're 6 years old, so eventually they had write it over to my grandma who then gifted it to my cousing when she was 18, of course subject to taxes. My aunt also doesn't have a great job, because she stayed at home and she doesn't get part of his pension which she would have if they were married and it would have helped a great deal. Overall the trouble of not marrying somone that you share a life with is not worth it

  • I don't want a stupid ring or an unnecessary wedding ceremony. But I do want to be married. So I kinda agree with her, but not on the materialistic side of it, just the commitment side.

    Otherwise, he's wasting my time and I can take someone wasting my money, but never my time. He's not worth it in my opinion and yes, it's an unforgivable sin, TO ME.

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    • so if a guy loved you didn't propose thats a deal breaker? If you will leave someone based off that did you really love him? were you NOT for better or for worse before getting married? Why can't you just make a commitment? Why do you need legal reassurance of how much you love someone? if you love someone you are with them for better or worse period. Also what time is being ''wasted''? WHo said he didn't want to start a family? this is just about getting married and nothing else.

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    • and my feet hurt will you rub them for me

    • Haha ok sounds like a plan

  • There are financial benefits like protection in case your partner dies. I know a lady that was engage to a man for 15 years and when he died his mom took everything he owned leaving her homeless there are more mentioned here: www.forbes.com/.../#111930e23626
    There are also health benefits: www.health.harvard.edu/.../marriage-and-mens-health

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    • financial stability

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    • just know ill always be watching

    • 😨😨😨😨😨

  • I've always been undecided on marriage. I don't feel I need it, especially not a ring or a wedding. If my partner really wanted to get married, I'd say we go to the court house. Having that security and safe feeling of a stronger commitment might make someone feel less worried about their future together. Things happen yes, but at least with marriage it shows they are willing to commit officially.

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  • Indeed, being married shouldn't change much, yet most people see it as the ultimate proof of love. (Another level of commitment if you want.) Also, romance and shit like that. For some, money. For others tradition. Another group might have never thought about the meaning and they took it as a norm. Anyways, everybody have the right to choose. But mainly people need that kind of confirmation if they're insecure on the relationship or if they want children

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  • The only difference between marriage and relationship is that you prove your commitment to your spouse so you both can trust each other more. Also this paper makes your commitment harder to break up. Also this ring prove to others that you are Married so they stay away from ur wife but if she's your girlfriend guys will put eye on ur pretty girlfriend & take her from you by any means since on paper she is considered single. The point of Marriage is happiness and new experience. I would be more proud telling people that I'm engaged or married than I'm in relationship. It means my SO is taking me seriously

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  • Some women want marriage (just like there are those that don't care about it) and don't want to spend their years with a man that will never marry her.

    For me it wouldn't be about the ring but rather having a child within a marriage.

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    • again, what does marriage vindicate about love? It is nothing more than a documented relationship by law. if you really loved someone this wouldn't be a deal breaker. I have no problem with having children I actually want that but Marriage is utterly pointless it is something forced on by society that holds no weight between real love.

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    • are you a Mormon?

    • Nope, I'm an atheist. I'm not sure why do you have to be religious to want marriage.

  • It's that person's opinion. For her, not being proposed to would be a deal breaker. She doesn't speak for all women

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  • Some people just have different values and goals they want to achieve. Some want to get married, and some do not. Its as simple as that.

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  • I do not hate marriage and Im not against it, but I would not go crazy if I never got married.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Marriage is given too much importance. According to me marriage is just a stupid custom, totally illogical.

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  • It's not, if you love someone just keep dating them. If they say they want to get serious ten move in together.

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  • Marriage is stupid. You sign a piece of paper and waste thousands of dollars celebrating it, and it doesn't change your relationship at all (if not for the worse).

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  • To me it isn't, just something people want or not.

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  • It isn't. Its a man made concept. That our legal system has fucked.

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  • I am against marriage for this reason too. It seems an unnecessary bunch of crap that achieves nothing. If you love each other, and both of you know you do, why would you have to sign a piece of paper to confirm it?

    ... but hey, I got married anyway! Here's why:

    1. The party, while probably one of the most expensive things I've ever done, was the best party I've ever been to. It was well organised, there was lots of alcohol, and everyone gave me attention!

    2. My wife is very old-fashioned. She insisted that we marry. We would probably still be arguing about it now if I hadn't given in. I did not see the benefit in getting married, but I did not really see the harm in it either, so she won.

    3. The law hold you in higher regard as a married couple - you are considered more financially stable, and it becomes easier to get loans or buy houses.

    4. Last but actually the most important; friends and family finally stop whining about why you aren't married yet.

    As a bonus, I guess, you get a lot more attention from girls when you wear a wedding ring. I imagine they have stopped being scared of talking to yet another creep that only wants them in bed. That or they just love married men, I don't know.

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    • LOL literally read my replies right above you to the girls I said the SAME thing now about your other points. Yes I can see that there are superficial reasons. Financial, a cool party and a different approach of women who dont see you as a creep. They are cool perks I agree

    • Yep! I got married for all the same reasons

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