Married for one year now & my husband has migrated to Australia (where I was born & live). Definitely better for us to live in Aus, our home country Syria isn't liveable any more, there's no trouble in our particular town, but everything is expensive there now, & there are electricity/water/petrol outages etc. Logically you'd think that you're lucky to be able to migrate to a place like Aus, and he does appreciate it but also misses his family which is understandable.
When a family member visits Syria he sends money to his family (mid class & can afford a decent lifestyle) I don't mind but now his father is asking to send money to buy us property there which I'm not happy about (why would you buy property in an unstable country?). My husband seems to be convinced that $500/month is reasonable to help is family & for property & I think this is too much. My opinion is to save here for property & provide assistance for small expenses for his family. I have no issue with him helping them, even though really we shouldn't be paying for his sisters uni pocket money or new curtains for his parents or for fixing their mobile phones & I can't keep using my credit card. I don't mean to come across as a tight ass, but what bothers me is that he is overly attached to his family, anything his father says 90% he will do, unless I convince him in a very nice way not to.
When I try to discuss this issue with him he just clams up, doesn't want to hear my say, gets angry & says my opinion is 'stupid' & it's none of my business. This time he walked out of the house & went for a 1/2 hour drive & didn't talk to me for the rest of the night or this morning which is upsetting
Am I wrong for thinking that $500/month is too much to give to his family? Considering that the rest of his income is $5500 left over & we agreed to save & buy property here in future. I just hate how his family has such a grip over him & it always comes between us.
Most Helpful Guy
If your husband wants to save money to buy property, that is fine. You can save it right where you are without any of the dangers of the instability over there. Plus, since you agreed that you are going to stay in Australia, why save to buy property in Syria. Your husband may have a different set of plans if he is going along with that. I think it is important to talk about it (I know he is making that difficult) and agree (again) that you are not going to live in Syria. Then from there it follows that you are not going to buy property there, so it makes no sense to save money for that purpose. And in any case, it makes no sense for the saving to be done over there. I think he is going to fight you on this and that will show that he really intends to go back there. If that is the case, you need to either agree to that (which I think would be a big mistake) or go your separate ways.
If you have a child before all that comes down, it will get real nasty. You do not want to go there at all!0
Most Helpful Girl
buying property at a cheap rate in Syria actually might be a good idea even though its clearly risky and things might not settle down there for a few years. Nothing wrong with helping family, my father used to send money to relations in Rwanda after he escaped there and it really paid off.1