Looking at the astronomically high rate of divorce, should premarital counseling be required by law?

I just wonder if requiring premarital counseling... covering in depth discussion of topics like financing, children, extended family, friends, etc. would help bring down the divorce rate. It appears that most people have NO idea what they're getting into!

Updates:
3mo Remember, it is the government that determines if someone is legally married... not a religious institution. That is why I asked if it should just be added to the law...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. It is where I come from. Basically you need to attend a weekly meeting for 3 months before getting married. They'll go through pretty much everything, as far as I know.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I believe that there should be free classes that cover marriage and family. Marriage isn't about getting the best looking wife or the richest husband; it's a commitment of two souls to elevate one another whatever may come.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Premarital counseling is an extremely good idea. However I'm lost about the enforcing it to make it a law requirement.

    Although, if it was by law, then I would see why it would have a better success rate in motivating the couple into action whereas if it's not by law (though, still offered) people are likely to skip it. With the rate of failed marriages and people marrying for stupid and absent-minded reasons, we really do need something, and I bet you with the counseling, it would save so many divorce rates.

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  • That's actually a fantastic idea. Although there's really no point in making it required by law, because your personal relationship isn't something really that the government has that much stake in.

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    • 3mo

      It is the government that determines if someone is legally married.

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    • 3mo

      I was thinking more for the sake of the couple... and possibly kids, not the government.

    • 3mo

      Yea I get what you're saying. And I totally agree that it makes more sense to do it that way, I'm just saying that there's no point in the government making it a law.

  • Required by law? That's just stupid. Premarital counseling is probably a smart move But I don't want the gov't to dictate it. they are already involved enough in our lives.

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    • 3mo

      Less government... you must be conservative :)... couldn't agree more!

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    • 3mo

      Are you married? divorced? Got a girl friend?

    • 3mo

      @Asker How could a marriage affect their aunts, uncles and cousins.

  • No, that would just be a massive waste of money of the government.
    I will certainly NOT pay tax just so people that are too lazy or stupid or whatever else it is that causes this can find the motivation to move their ass and educate themselves about marriage and sign a prenup. Hell no.

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  • Divorce rates are higher with older people than with people who have gotten married in the last 20 years so it's a waste of time, energy, and money.

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  • Divorce rates have been going down since the 80s (when they spiked) so I wouldn't call them astronomically high.
    I don't think the government should intervene in personal relationships, no.

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  • and who the fuck cares about the high divorce rate? it's not killing anyone. if anything it's stimulating the economy. dumb question

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    • 3mo

      Its the kids that are suffering and I'm one of them and although it doesn't kill me it hurts me not being able to see my patents side by side. Having a law isn't possible but couples should just be careful with premaritial stages. Counseling would be great if couples want a healthy relationship

  • Marriages suck because people dont take them serious, they dont communicate, they are too proud to say how they feel... etc Anyway, people who wait till marriage have lasting marriages. too bad i lost mine at 15. I do think unless abuse happens , people should be required to have therapy before they file for divorce that can be religious, govt assigned.. etc

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  • A good idea in theory, but not if they're using taxpayers money!

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  • We can counsel ourselves without a third party -sincerely my future husband and I

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  • It shouldn't be required by law, but it wouldn't hurt the couple to try it

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  • No I don't think it should be required by law. People need to learn to know what they are getting themselves into without the law guiding them. I don't even think the government should issue marriage licenses.

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  • I don't want the government involved - but it's a good idea to make on your own.

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  • It will probably bring down divorce rate indirectly by lowering the marriage rate. Like maybe some couples go for that councilling and find out that they aren't that compatible. But why does the government or society care if you stay married or not?

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    • 3mo

      Yes, I think it would help. Based on your argument, why does the government care if you drink and drive, or text and drive, or wear a seat belt?

  • It should be required for everyone. Mental health is so important. Not just for marriage but for everyday life

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What Guys Said 19

  • Well I don't think that will solve the problem, it would help though. I think the fact that its so easy to get a divorce and that their are no negative consequences to doing so for women (hence women being the initators of divorce 80% of the time) is whats making it as sever. By making it a bigger deal people will think it out more and by having negative consequens it will force people to stay in the relationship and actually deal with the problems rather then simply up and leaving at the first sign of trouble. Prior to no fault divorce (the one most commonly used) you could divorce for any major reason i. e. cheating, economical reasons (this applied to women since a man was expected to provide for her if he did not or could not she would be able to legally divorce him), or abuse. Now with no fault you can divorce just because. This makes it no different then casual dating. So that would help resolve the problem, that said I think what your suggesting would also be a very good idea as well.

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  • Actually, any state requirement for premarital counselling would be unconstitutional. However, the states can make it easier to marry if the parties have participated in some counselling. In Florida, couples who attend a 4 hour "premarital preparation course" have their marriage license fee reduced by $32.50. Florida Statute ยง741.0305. 

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    • 3mo

      How would premarital counseling be "unconstitutional"? Where is it even mentioned in the Constitution?

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    • 3mo

      I don't understand how premarital counseling is a burden on this implied fundamental right. I've heard the same argument on regarding requiring background checks on the right to bear arms. It is my personal opinion that neither are a burden. But, I know many people think that anyone should be allowed to get a gun or get married... regardless of any other factors.

    • 3mo

      I think it is an insignificant burden but this is how the US Supreme Court approaches these topics.

  • interesting question. based on the role government has played in our lives i wouldn't be surprised if it was something implemented. you have to take a driver's license exam before you can drive on the road without sanctioning, the idea is to protect you and other drivers. a marriage that results in divorce can have devastating effects on the two people not to mention any children

    me personally would not like this. I think people should simply be smart about the decision to get married and deal with the consequence if it goes awry. maybe you raise the age to allow marriage (since the stats show that the later in life people marry the less likely they are to divorce). even that goes against my ideals but it is more appealing to me than courses on marriage

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  • Government isn't going to do that. Divorces are great for the economy. It keeps lawyers and judges with work. Both parties lose something in the arrangement and has to go out and buy what they lose.

    While a nice idea I don't think the counseling would be effective. To me marriage is one of things that is going to work or it's just not. I think it may discourage people who were thinking to get married to wait a but won't help once they are.

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  • No, as it would cost people who know what they're doing. It would benefit the silly but cost for all. It would pose a problem about liberties and that's not right. Let the silly pay for their mistakes. Counselling shall be highly recommended, but not required, in my opinion.

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  • Most churches require couples counseling before marriage in that church.
    If people get married and have no idea what they are getting into, well lesson learned. But I think most people do have an idea of what marriage is.
    The problems I see are between the couple... growing apart, not working on the relationship, getting too caught up in life and forgetting about their partner, or... as happened to me, an agenda she had that I did not know about. Plus many other reasons why people get a divorce.
    So I don't think forced or required counseling would do much but maybe drop the rate a point or two.

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  • men and women have been acting a certain way for ages it worked for thousands of years, these days women think they are men and want to be equal in everything even in strength despite being weaker by nature, this led to women thinking they're better than they actually are and nothing satisfies them anymore, not to mention all the laws are with women and against men, so if a woman decides its time to do something else the law is on her side, for that particular reasons some guys have unrealsitic standards when marrying, cause lets face it you either have some standards that are hard to find or you jump on the first girl you find and get a divorce years later, standards are better.

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  • The government doesn't "determine" if you're married. That would imply they could prevent a legal marriage, which they cannot.

    Plus, they make money on divorces, so why would they want people to stay together?

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    • 3mo

      I'm not sure what country you live in. In the US, the government determines who is legally married. It is not a matter of opinion. It is a matter of law. It is also the government (court system) that determines if someone is divorced or legally separated.

    • 3mo

      Again, no... it does not. There's no "determination". Either you are married, or you're not. You pay the fee and one happens, and you pay the fee and the other happens. That's like saying Best Buy determines if you own your TV. No, you buy it... and it's yours.

  • It wouldn't be bad, indeed

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  • It wouldn't do any good. Marriage is a flawed, bad idea mated with a corrupt, sick, illegitimate system. Counseling would be like slapping a band-aid on someone that fell in a wood chipper.

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  • No. The government should not require anything like that.

    I'm so f'ing sure.
    Mate A cheats on Mate B
    Mate A charges thousands on Mate B's credit card
    Mate A smashes the windows out of Mate B's car for leaving

    Court: Ok, you need counseling before you are allowed to get a divorce. You should be more accepting of Mate A's abusive behavior because the government said so and we are just stupid dicks. lol

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    • 3mo

      This is exactly why I think PREMARITAL counseling should be required... so, it doesn't EVER GET TO THAT POINT!!! At that point, it's clearly TOO LATE!!!

    • 3mo

      I think too many people get married with not enough common morals and beliefs. If they would live together for a year first it would improve the divorce rate I'm sure. I was married once, and after one month of actually living together, I wished I had never done it. I stuck it out for a year though to try to make it work, but in the end I filed for divorce. It was a huge waste of my time, and stressful too.

  • It doesn't matter what you do in advance. Marriage is what ruins the relationship.

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    • 3mo

      I know MANY people who agree with you! :-)

  • No that sounds like something a dumbass liberal would say.

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  • I think the government already has to much authority over marriage

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  • nothing wrong with divorce. the divorce ratesshould be higher.

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  • Marriage should be outlawed.

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  • No, not really

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  • It won't help. No amount of counseling will save a marriage between two people who had multiple sexual partners. The statistics since the sexual revolution are damning.

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  • no, it would simply become infiltrated by those types to force men that dont actually want to get married to their gfs.

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