You're a 56-year-old man: Would you rather be with a homely woman in her 50s or a sexy woman in her 30s?

I'm a 36yo woman, never married, no kids, good job, intelligent, own 3 houses & a boat. I'm no supermodel, but I'm very attractive, fit & sexy. I've never been into older guys & usually date men in their mid 20s-early 30s.

A year ago I met a man whom, despite being 20 years my senior, I was drawn to instantly. We exchanged calls & texts & bumped into each other a couple times over the next 2 months before we went on our first date. After that, the physical part of our relationship heated up & it wasn't long before we were intimate. Our sexual chemistry was amazing & we seemed so comfortable together.

A month later, he nonchalantly mentions there's another woman he dates. I was disappointed & told him I didn't want to put myself in a situation where he was choosing to spend his time with her over me, but he continued to pursue me. I figured he must not be too serious with her because he called many nights a week & she wasn't around. It was early on for us & I thought things would evolve as we spent more time together, so I continued seeing him.

A few weeks later I found out from someone else that this woman was essentially his girlfriend for the past year. And while I do not know her personally, we live in a small city so I know who she is. She's 53, dresses & wears makeup like it's the 1980s with no modern sense of style & isn't sexy or really even remotely attractive. I kept it to myself for a few weeks & based on what I was able to discern, she seemed boring & they didn't appear to have much of a sexual relationship, if at all, because they never spent the night together. I was sure she didn't stand a chance against me.

A few weeks later I did confront him about it & he admitted he was in a relationship with her but that he didn't want to stop seeing me. Despite my better judgment I couldn't stay away. The fact that I kept meeting guys that seemed like ridiculous idiot losers next to him didn't help. An argue-makeup cycle went on for the next 4 months, during which I felt we grew close, & then he drops on me that he proposed to her a month prior & they're getting married in 2 months. Needless to say I was crushed, but I figured why stop now? We both make each other feel so good, & not just sexually. I made it clear I wouldn't sleep with him after he married. Looking back, I was in denial that it would happen. Well, 10 days ago it did.

He slept with me 9 days before the wedding, & I found out he got out of bed with me that morning & met her to apply for their marriage license. He tried to have phone sex with me 3 days before. We talked on the phone every night until the day of. We've had no contact since, but I know he will try before long. Others have observed his lack of excitement during the engagement, & he indicated more than once he may be making a mistake. He is active in his church & likes to maintain a certain image, & she fits that. But I don't understand how he can behave this way and think he's ready to marry. Thoughts?

Updates:
To the judgmental: He's willingly met & spent half a day with my dad, he's taken hours away from his business to fix my boat & we go out in public all the time. And he says I make him feel good about himself, so she's lacking something besides looks.
wicksjm, I appreciate your compassionate reply and recognition that I'm someone who gradually got pulled into a giant fiasco, albeit while shouldering some blame. This week's been hard because until now he's been in my life almost daily for the past 9 mos

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From your degree of literacy, you seem more intelligent than others. From your degree in focus on 'superficial' things (looks, materialistic things, comparison with this woman) in this brief description, I dare to say you should know better too than to be infatuated still.

    Not wanting to sound judgemental in the least, but you seem to crave some emotional stability somehow in your life and he has been and is abusing that. You can turn it around as much as you like, but this thing will not have a future. Unless you're okay to be a mistress for the rest of your life - I guess that works for some?

    As to understanding: I'm sure he finds things in you - other than sexual - which he doesn't have in the other; obviously he wants both and continues to go for both no matter what (morality, respect for both women,...) - I only know this behavior from spoilt children. And yea, children can be cruel; expect one of you women to get hurt badly soon, as, unless you're fine with the mistress thing, he will be forced to grow up fast!

    Summary: he's still a child, and he got two toys (I didn't say you were *only* a sex toy!). He will be forced to throw one away soon. It's probably because of the 'child in him', that the age seemed less of an issue. Out of your own self-respect, force him to choose and stick to it. I'm very well aware you must feel victimised - you have a lot going for you in life apparently, please find someone who is worthy of you. You're not telling me you haven't heard this cliche before, but it is true..

    Also, it's a small town, you don't want to draw a bad image over you, he obviously won't..

    For one part, allow me to be judgemental: this guy is not worth any church (and no I'm not that religious..I just dislike fakers with a passion!)

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    • Well put.

    • Forget him andlook around:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPk5wHb8UPo

      Lyrics here:

      http://www.metrolyrics.com/free-again-lyrics-barbra-streisand.html

What Guys Said 22

  • Read this passage very carefully:

    "She's 53, dresses & wears makeup like it's the 1980s with no modern sense of style & isn't sexy or really even remotely attractive...she seemed boring & they didn't appear to have much of a sexual relationship, if at all, because they never spent the night together. I was sure she didn't stand a chance against me."

    Imagine you were a stranger overhearing this in a restaurant. What would he think of the woman who said this? What kind of date would he think she would be? What kind of *wife* would he think she would be?

    If it were me, *it wouldn't matter how she looked*, she would be utterly undateable. Wouldn't go near her, and I would consider avoiding her friends.

    Think about why.

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    • If I overheard that, I'd think they were the words of a very confident woman who has been extremely hurt & is trying to talk her way through a self-esteem-diminishing experience. But I would not expect a man to understand this. That said, however, we unfortunately live in a world where people, especially women, are often judged solely on their appearance. It's a fact of life, & I've been on both sides of it. You & I both know most men and women want to be with someone physically attractive.

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    • L-hedoniste :

      " Read this passage very carefully : ..... If it were me, *it wouldn't matter how she looked*, she would be utterly undateable. Wouldn't go near her, and I would consider avoiding her friends. "

      My thought EXACTLY ^ ^

      Why do people think they deserve what they want, we the have no respect for anyone else& act with compassion ONLY if they can get something from it.

      It's balance : Respect goes out from you & returns to you - don't give don't get

      The universe isn't stupid^ ^

      :-)

    • ^^ good point ^^

      QA> A confident woman does not belittle another the way you did, nor does she need to. That woman would have sent this guy packing a long time ago. I would bet that woman you insulted has something you are not demonstrating in your post, a beautiful inside.

      BTW, your self-esteem was already bruised before this happened, otherwise you would not have taken a part in something so foolish. Learn from it, or you are doomed to repeat the mistake.

      Signed,

      A confident woman

  • First I'd like to commend you on a very nicely written thread. It's a pleasure to read and very articulated.

    My only submission to this thread is that I can bet dollars to donuts that he wishes he was relatively the same age as you. I think he does genuinely love you and loves being with you. The age gap on some levels is exciting to him and obviously you, but it's a great difference that is obviously something he does care enough about. He got married to someone his own age. Someone that is in the same part of life that he is in. Essentially, he has two lives. He has a young life with you and a older life with his new wife. He's getting satisfied on both ends.

    All that being said, "It's not a great position for you to be in because you obviously love him and have to "share" his time with his "WIFE".

    I guess until now you've allowed him to have his cake and eat it too. You need to decide how long you are going to enable that situation for your own mental health.

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  • You are very bright and astute woman but you allowed the oldest game in the book to be played on you. The man was upfront and told you he was seeing someone and against your better judgment to walk away early on in the friendship , you allowed him to mesmerize you, swoon you into his love nest. He now has his cake and ice cream and form the way it is looking he is going to get the cherry on top. I guess the question you must ask yourself is why do you settle ..? You mention others compared to him are losers and yes I am sure for every 10 to 15 guys that is true but there is ' The Guy " who changes all of that if you open your heart and mind to what is good for you. There is a saying that do not become an option for others when you know you need to be a priority. The hardest thing you will do is to walk away but I want you to know it will be the best thing you can do for you... Men like this have made a life off of shuffling women and just because he been honest with you about his dilemma he choose his reality now it is time for you to do the same... There is a book by Erich Fromm " The Art Of Loving ". I want you to know this book has changed my thinking on love and how to treat that special someone... You can google the title " The Art Of Loving "and get a major excerpt of the book. This quote reminds me of how I view myself and the person I'm looking for..."If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy." Are you worthy..?

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    • VERY VERY well said. Bravo!

      Lady, you need to let go of this guy. He did not respect you. He married a woman that wasn't a risk to him. Yes, sure, she may not be as "fun" as you, but a marriage with her would be a comfortable one and at his age, that is what he wants from a wife. I feel sorry for her, as I feel his thought process is probably to marry the good girl, and sleep with the bad girl on the side.

      You need to free yourself from this mess and gain some perspective.

  • "He slept with me 9 days before the wedding & I found out he got out of bed with me that morning & met her to apply for their marriage license"... He is active in his church and likes to maintain a certain image"

    I'm sorry, but what else do you need to know about this guy?

    However charming he may be, however attracted to him you may be, whatever good you think you see in him... This guy is a player. He is dishonest and a hypocrite.

    F**k him and the rabid, syphyllitic horse he rode in on.

    Who knows what else he has going on the side?

    Have you gotten checked for STDs recently?

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  • The guy is playing you both. He want's the other woman because she is his age and speaks his language. As an older guy I can tell you for a fact that women 12 years or more younger than me may be pretty and into the latest styles and all that crap but that means sh*t. They don't have the experience. You learn and develop as you age, you began to understand things, figure things out

    and you want someone who has also figured things out. If you ask me this guy used you as a booty call, saw a pretty younger woman who was into him and acted like he belonged in a barn yard. I hope the other woman finds out what he did and takes every thing the piece of sh*t owns.

    this behavior is also typical of men from his generation.

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  • Actually, I perfectly understand his position. It takes people awhile to get used to the idea that affection doesn't have to be a sum zero game.

    No one can be everything to someone else, there is always going to be some area that isn't covered completely. While you have some of his interest, that doesn't mean you can usurp his other lovers place in his heart.

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    • I'm not sure she has his heart. I saw pics of them at a wedding days after they got engaged. They look like strangers. No smiles, no contact. Their elbows aren't even touching on the armrest they share. But nothing changes the fact that they're married now. If they are miserable then it will end. In the meantime, when he comes around I will use one of my favorite song lines: "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!" Although at 56 he probably doesn't even know who Beyonce is!

  • Forget him and look around, there's plenty of fish in the sea:

    link

    Lyrics here: link

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  • I prefer the company of women my own age, though I must admit a penchant for attractive ones.

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  • You might be drawn to him because he is unattainable. He is probably weighing the long term options. Hot babe who I want to f*** and. unbelievably enough, wants to f*** me OR someone I have known for a while, who has similar interests, that I want to spend my life with. I should give you my number.

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  • He will soon discover his mistake and will regret it! he will be back but you need to set rules so you do not get burned! As a male myself in a intimacy free relationship and a few years younger than he, I can tell you that marriage is not necessarily a great idea! Even as a younger man, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never married! Falling in love is so amazing yet when one gets married complacency follows! It always does! Today, more women than men cheat (Look it up!) and over 74% of divorces are enacted by the wife! The biggest reason is the need for more sexual partners! The mundaneness of the same person and the lack of excitement along with the fact that instinctively, women DO in fact need multiple lovers! If more men understood this then knowing what a cuckold relationship can do for a marriage is phenomenal! Those who have considered this lifestyle have either been extremely happy and delighted or fell out of the marriage because of jealousy and or insecurity which is somewhat normal for a male with a strong ego! I wish you so much luck with this and hope you have what makes you happy!

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  • How can he behave this way? I think you answered your own question when you said he "likes to maintain a certain image and she fits that." He's definitely not ready to marry. He even admitted he may have made a huge mistake. He may be a nice guy who help fix your boat, but he's a cheater. How do you know there's not a 26 year old he's also seeing? This can only end poorly.

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  • Stop giving the milk away for free. If you love yourself and want to be a married woman then why act like a swinger. The other woman is giving him a life that he wants. While you are supplying the sex. Looks like he gets both worlds, unfortunately that makes him a Liar. He is being decietful to his wife and you want to continue on giving your sacred love away at whim to an undeservable. Stop fighting for Daddys love and let him get back to mommy. Look back at all the choices you made, all the red flags you saw in the beginning. I think that you don't want a decent relationship that's why you have been making these choices. Ask yourself this very important question: What do you really want in life and in a relationship? Good luck, Jesse

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  • It comes down to LOVE versus LUST ... if you're in love then you stick with the person your age... but if it's lust then you go for that young hottie.

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  • I am shocked! I suppose I don't really understand why he would do this! Just move into your life and his intentions were probably never to establish a sound relationship with you! I am of a different mind in relationships because I feel successful relationships are cuckold ones! I know people find that possibly repulsive however, look around and you will see and hear much more about it because relationships are happier and longer lasting! That's just me though!

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    • Happier lol I doubt that. but longer lasting of course because the girl can walk all over the guy and sleep around that's disgusting I mean come one what normal guy or girl is gonna leave if there partner lets them sleep around while they be faithful I mean come on think about it really lol there's counseling for your problem bro and really I think you would be happier if you took that

  • Tl;dr but you should contact me. I'm not a mathematician but 22 goes into 36 a lot more times than 56 does ;).

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  • What is not being addressed is how this man is providing for the other woman. I can say that my Mother is 66 and she always has that one guy friend that she spends time with and makes business deals with or builds a house with or buys property with. Although, hey sweetness you are the cat's meow in this story.

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  • you go through many changes growing up, I'm in my mid 20's I could not guess what a 56yr old man would want.

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  • All I can say is shame on both of you...

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  • do you like younger guys lol? ;)

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  • Hes not into you... if he liked you more he would be with you...find someone else...sound like a good catch...

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  • I would date the younger girl in her 30's

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  • Now I understand teenagers but you would think a 36 y/o would know a little better. Take note how all you say about yourself is how you look and how successful you are. and how you down this older woman by the way she looks. Maybe he just has a better chemistry with her? On top of that being involved with a man who is with another woman not smart. Should of ended it then and there. If he is willing to have sex with you 9 days before the marriage. He obviously has no emotional bearings isn't worth the time.

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    • I agree, you sound very arrogant, true be told, your best days are behind you, your 36 your going to 50 some day. maybe he doesn't like that, go figure. and your talking about maturity your sleeping with a guy on the same day as he gets his marriage license yeah real keeper. is there a girl in this country who finds this as pathetic as I do, or do I just have to go overseas.

    • Perhaps brushing up on your reading comprehension skills would be a good idea because if you go back you will see it says I FOUND OUT about the marriage license, which implies I didn't already know. I don't know why describing your positive attributes is considered arrogant, & if you knew me you'd be aware that I'm anything but. I think it's interesting that the men are the angriest & harshest to judge, yet both of you in your 50s would almost surely choose a younger woman if you had the option.

    • Yea I understand you didn't know but you eventually found out, Yet still want to see this guy. The only reason I would be with a 36 y/o when I'm in my 50's would be for a 100% physical relationship. At the same time if I wasn't in a relationship already. I don't think I would be looking for a "fling" at 50. I think I would want to settle down.

What Girls Said 18

  • I'm sure you're an amazing, attractive lover for this guy... but have you considered that guys sometimes want more than sex in a partner? Especially as they get older. Perhaps the staid, ugly and apparently boring woman is a better companion for him on a daily basis. Perhaps she has a special intellectual spark, or cooks restaurant-quality food, or comforts him when he is down and makes him feel safe, or is incredibly giving and wonderful to those around her? People marry others for all sorts of reasons that aren't just about sex.

    Whatever the reason, both she and you deserve far better than this man. Stop hurting yourself, and find a guy who will commit to you wholeheartedly. That's what you (and she) deserve.

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    • I'm well aware there is more than sex, which is my point. When he needs advice on how to market his business or with technology, he comes to me. When he wanted to run for a local political office, his dream, I urged him to pursue it from day one. He looked to me for help with the campaign. She, however, discouraged him by picking a wedding date in the midst of it all & asking him to not make his plate so full due to her retirement next year. So he had to bow out. And, I am quite a cook, I might add.

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    • Are you sure that you're not just looking for excuses? Because 8-9 months isn't that long to look for the right person... and you don't sound like a quitter to me!!

      Look, I understand that you're deeply hurt at this man's behaviour, and God knows you have every right to be. I'd be devastated to be treated like that too. But you're making out in your head like he's Mr Right. Clearly that's not the case, otherwise you'd be together. Instead he's marrying someone else.

    • I don't mean to sound brutal, but you need to wake up and stop idealizing him! However charming and sexy he is, he's also an unfaithful, deeply selfish individual who has stabbed both you and his poor, unknowing wife through the heart with his behaviour. Trust me, you deserve better than this jackass. The right guy is out there - but you're not going to find him until you forget this guy and get back in the game. Don't waste your 30s in regrets over a bastard!

  • I agree with wicksjm in that we have feelings for more than one person in different ways. I don't however agree that this guy doesn't know what he wants. I think he knows, but unfortunately, he can't have it that way. In my humble opinion, this guy wants to have it all. He wants the "good, respectable, wife", (this is not to say that you don't embody any of those qualities) but if he is that concerned about how his image is perceived within the church, he's going to want to marry a person that isn't going to...shake things up, so to speak.

    But, he also wants you. You represent everything exotic, everything taboo--that he will probably never get from his wife. Especially, if she is very active in her religion as he claims he is. Just think about it. you two go out, you have fun, and you have an illicit sexual relationship. It's probably all very exciting to him because of it's illicitness and if he marries you...he's just not going to get that excitement anymore. So, he continues to string you along, saying things that will keep you hopeful enough to continue to have a relationship with him even though he has no intention of ever leaving his wife.

    He wants to have the more platonic married life with his wife, and the exciting, passionate, more sexual relationship with you. So, while he's having his cake and eating it too---you and his wife are the ones who suffer because each of you, in your own way, deeply care for this man even though he clearly doesn't deserve it.

    My advice? Don't hurt yourself anymore. Keeping in contact with this guy isn't going to help you get over him any sooner and a sexual relationship with you isn't going to make him leave his wife-to-be. If he's concerned with image to the point where he would willingly marry someone who doesn't satisfy all his needs---you leave him to it. There is no reason that you both should come out of this unhappy. Take the lesson that needs to be learned here and move on. You sound like you have a lot going for you in life, and you shouldn't waste your time with a man that won't give you the respect you deserve.

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  • I don't think anyone is going to judge you or him. We are mealy giving our opinions. Unfortunately, this guy doesn't know what he wants. He likes being the center of both your attention and likes having his cake and definitely eating it too. He doesn't seem like a bad guy (don't want you to think I'm calling him a bad guy) but he's human and sometimes we as humans have feelings for more than one person in different ways. I don't like the fact that he has not been honest with you and only fessed up when you confronted him. He's 56 and should have the decency to be more direct and honest with you and his feelings.

    I was once in your exact situation (the only thing is the sex actually was not that good but anyway...LOL!) The point is I know where you are coming from. I had to be the adult and bow out gracefully. Even though I am single now, I knew that if I continued to see the man I was seeing. Nothing but pain and guilt would have come out of the situation. I knew that I knew better than that and I was put on this earth to be happy with a Single Available man and so do you! All the best.

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    • I posted this as an update (and somehow it was duplicated), but I just realized I should have put it here. And apparently I can't delete the updates. So anyway, I appreciate your compassionate reply & recognition that I am not a monster but a human being with feelings who gradually got pulled into a giant fiasco, albeit while shouldering some blame. This week has been hard because until now he's been in my life almost daily for the past 9 months, so it feels kinda like a good friend has died.

  • He may be more emotionally compatible with her and just enjoys the sex with you. I think you underestimate the value of a mature woman. There is more to a partner than hotness and chemistry - maybe he prefers her overall company.

    Either way, he sounds like a jackas* and I honestly don't think he deserves his fiance.

    You should make her aware of his extra curricular activities and give her an opportunity to live her life free from deceit.

    You guys pretty much deserve each other ...

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    • Please read some of my comments to the others and you will see that he values more in me than "hotness and chemistry." Truth be told, the only reason I listed all those positive attributes that others considered "arrogant" is because without knowing those factors, everyone would rush to say I'm a dumb bimbo who has nothing going for me & he is probably with her because she's smarter and more successful. I was simply taking that off the table. Yet many of you want to believe that anyway.

  • I'd say the question you asked has been answered to you by him - yes, he'd rather marry a homely woman in her 50s than a sexy woman in her 30s. But that's really not an issue here. I'd say a real issue for you is that you most probably have a certain degree of addiction to this man. I'd recommend an excellent book I just read - (and in case this gets deleted by moderators, I'll find a way to pass this info onto you) "How to break your addiction to a person". Look it up on Amazon, absolutely great book

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  • She's the respectable one, and you're the f*** toy. Some men want both in their lives.

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    • You summed it up quite nicely.

    • Thank you both for your blanket assumption, but if you look at the comment I wrote to QueenKatie above you will see that he has quite a bit of respect for my knowledge and opinions. So, please look at the big picture and don't apply worn-out cliches to your answers because every situation has its own set of details if you have enough depth to look beyond the surface.

    • Ok fine, I'm wrong. Why is he marrying her then? If it's not her body or her brain or some sense of respectability, then what's left?

  • It's hard to deal with a guy who only cares about his reputation. It sounds like he's only with her to impress his church crowd,which, makes this guy an idiot because the whole point of going to church in the first place is to be a better person by gods standards. You may make him feel good, but your not good enough for his church crowd. I would say it's just bad luck that you ended up tied to someone like him.

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  • He probably thinks you are one of his dream women. He finds you very attractive and probably likes what you do together. But think about it, why do you like him if he is so much older? If you could have younger more attractive guys? It's because you love him and can't help it. Well that is the way he feels about her. Although he comes to you for sexual relations because you are more attractive and willing. As hard as it is, you should move on, if his wife ever found out she would be heartbroken.

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  • He obviously picked her over you, if you're not good enough for him and his *image* then you don't need to be with him. On top of that, would you want to be with someone like that? I was always told and thru xperience have seen it be true, that if a man does it to one woman he'll do it to all. So chances are if you got with him he might do the same ugly thing to you that he's doing to this woman. He should be ashamed of himself, that's disgusting. Going to get the marriage license after sleeping with you? There's something wrong with this man. He is a fake.

    How much can really say about him and how much of what he says can you believe if he's pretending for his church image? I mean really you get involved in the church because its what you feel is true because its what you believe not because it gives you a certain image of a good person. If he's pretending to be what it socially deemed 'good' then he's not good.

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  • i wouldn't hang around him anymore..seems to me he's just using you. you're just wasting your time. and don't be a home wrecker..he's married. don't try to legitimize this affair by thinking you're better than her, and more deserving (based on your looks). shame..

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  • WOW he's in his 20 or 30's and you are 36 and she is in her 50's and I got lost some where around all that. I think he might have an insurance policy or she has money put away for him etc. What the hell religion is that? Boxie

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    • I was lost somewhere between her Thesis and her Dissertation on this matter........much too complex for me to consider....Holy S &*T

      I think I'll stick to 'penis size' questions..............

      Bruce

  • Hmm, that's tricky. I know he seems like a great guy, but would a great guy really cheat on his fiancĂ©? What if you were in the girl's position? And can you really trust a guy who cheats?

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  • Why in heavens do you want a 50something? Girl, you don't want to even go there because that age gap is too much, we're not talking 5 or even 10 years but 20...but to each their own.

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  • Looks like you're the idiot here. You both are. He's having a pointless affair because he'll be dead in 30 years, and you're attracted to a creepy old man. Wow is all I can say.

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  • i think even its hard you need to find someone else. he will never leave her. maybe later on he will say he will but he wont. everyone deserves a person that will be around all the time. when he gets married he won't have to same time to put into you. forget him he's a cheater and will always be.

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  • Well, the sad truth is that players can continue to play even into their 50's and 60's. The other sad truth is that guys marry who they feel looks the part of the "wife", not who is the sexiest. Hey, I have dated several guys who thought I was the sexiest thing around, but they did not become my boyfriends, even when we had a lot of fun together and enjoyed each others company. He may have simply not been interested in what a 36 year old wife would expect from him or all the gossip over your age difference. Some men actually prefer to not have a sexy wife. They are too insecure for that. They worry one day you will leave them for someone younger. In any case, he didn't even care enough to talk to you and try to figure how to be with you and not her, so that says it all.

    I have no doubt this guy will come back to calling you and trying to have fun on the side. He is, sadly, a user. He is trying to portray a certain image while still having the fun he wants. I hope you will have the strength to see him for the person he is and not participate in adultery when he does contact you. Good luck.

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  • he's just being a jerk. I guess it'll be better for you to find a man on your age bracket. make things easier.

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  • Perhaps he was attracted to tother things about this woman. Maybe he felt he had more of a future with her and that she complimented his lifestyle and just sees you as a f*** buddy? I'm not a 56 year old man, but my father is a widowed 52 year old man lol and he said he would not date a woman in her 30s seriously because what can she really offer him? He said he wants someone more compatible with him and that is usually a woman in his age bracket with similar lifestyles. That could be why this guy is officially with her.

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    • Actually, we do have similar lifestyles in many respects. We are both boaters, we both live at the beach, we both are knowledgeable about business. He often turns to me for advice, which you'll see in some of the other comments above. That is why none of this makes sense. He seems to have it all with me, except for the fact that us being together would cause a stir within his church crowd due to the age difference. He is way more worried about what others think than I am. But that's his loss.

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