Should I give up on idea of getting married?

I would love to be married with a 7/10 and with kids... that would make me happy.

But i am smart enough to understand that in today's society that is extremely risky and i would have to become doormat to be considered a "good husband" when i am actually way opposite of that. I want to be in control of my life and i want to lead... i want to be a MAN.. they type of man that lived 100 years ago where they were the leaders of the househod and ran the family... all my friends who are in ltr's or married let their wife/gf be head of household and make decisions and honestly i could never do that.

Add to the fact that i know men / women are not designed/made to be with one person for the rest of their life eventually they will want to fuck.

The sucky part is that i am 28 and i am starting to feel like a loser for not being married because many of my friends/family my age are. They constantly ask me when are you going to married why are you not married like something is wrong with me but i know marriage is not for me as it would be very hard to find someone that would make it work between the two of us because i still yern to be THE MAN who leads and doesn't take shit from anyone and that would consider me a "bad husband" in most women views.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i already gave up, there is no point. Do what i do... i date women, have sex and then move on. That way i am satisfied and move on with my life without the extra baggage and women are independent, so they can take care of themselves. Marriage is useless in my opinion.

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What Girls Said 7

  • It sounds like your expectation is very unrealistic and that is your problem. Not with you getting married and having kids.

    #1: Stop with the ratings of a woman. '7/10', not the reality. Your main concern should be about personality, her traits good and bad, and her character. Not her looks. That is not priority in searching for a marriage partner. Because trust me, if you can't love her for who she is, your not going to be as attracted to her once her physical beauty fades.

    #2: You don't need to be a walking doormat. But you have to be able to take sound advice if your wife is giving her opinion to you. Yes you are supposed to lead the household. But you need to find a woman who is willing to submit to you as a wife and likewise the same with you first. And that is going to be hard to find. You don't want an arrogant and strong willed woman who is so stubborn to admit to faults. But you do want a strong willed woman who is about you. But she also have to learn to give up her will and wants to provide your needs as her husband.

    #3: Men and woman ARE designed to be with one person. But its about choosing the right person for their lives. Often times people are selfish and end up with the wrong kind of people doing all the wrong things, but expect no consequences from it. So you have to find a woman who wants to be with you in marriage. Let that be known right away. Don't just marry any and everybody. They have to qualify as a wife for you. If they don't qualify, don't marry them and don't date them.

    #4: DON'T WORRY about what other people think. It will happen at its right time. Don't rush into something you are not prepared and ready for. Not everybody is cut out for marriage. And if your friends don't get with the program of what marriage is REALLY about, God forbid they could be heading down the path of divorce. It is not a joke. Once again entirely up to you. My favorite quote from the Bible is: It is wise for a man not to marry, for he who marries will have trouble in this life.

    So as marriage is beautiful, marriage is also dutiful. It is all about choices. Do what is most convenient and beneficial for you and others. If you better off single, stay single. But if you want to get married, use wisdom in searching for a marriage partner. And don't settle for less as long as your standards are reasonable. Hope this helps.

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  • the thing is, no one half of a couple should be in control of everything.

    when i was looking for a life partner, i wanted an equal~ i wasn't interested in a doormat; i wanted to be challenged by an interesting man who would stand up for his beliefs without stomping all over mine. i am not a feminist by any stretch, though i wouldn't consider dating someone who didn't have egalitarian notions of marriage/relationships in general.

    my man and i are a team, in the truest sense of the word~ we share all responsibilities, make decisions together, and support each others' goals and dreams... he is the king of my castle, and i am his queen; no one leads the other but, instead, we walk side by side.

    needless to say, a guy who expects me to stay home and cook/clean/raise kids is not for me. that said, there are women out there who want those things, though they are far fewer than those of us who'd prefer to be treated as an equal partner.

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  • Can you elaborate on what you mean by leading in a marriage?

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  • You're not a loser at all. Don't let your friends or family influence you in your life choices, even though it's hard to hear them asking about your love life. Even though you're 28, doesn't mean you'll stay alone forever. I can't predict the future of course, but I hope that you'll find the woman you deserve :) I am sure that you'll be a good husband. Some women don't like to be "in charge" in a relationship, even though society may point out otherwise.

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  • There are plenty of women out there who still believe in the traditional household.

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  • it's the same for women your expected to be married and have babies by a certain age or your some kind of freak

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  • That your mistake and many of the guys who think that when they get married they will get "chained" a marriage is teamwork.
    What you put in will get back at you.
    Same goes for relationships such as family , friendhips etc.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Do NOT feel like a loser , don't compare yourself to others. Marriage was a big mistake for me , you need to chose very carefully !

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  • Yeah give up on marriage and this website both are equally garbage. Save yourself the time and wasted effort. Nobody gives a shit on here and they don't actually try to help. Hope you figure things out

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  • Most women WILL cheat on you and divorce you. You are much better off single.

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