How to be supportive when your boyfriend is jobless?

He is a licensed psychologist. He worked the same job for 10 years before tragedy started. His mom got very ill, died, his family betrayed him, and stole money from him. His mother left behind debt because she squandered away her 200,000 a year income on expensive luxuries. His ex girlfriend cheated on him and left him. He managed to settle out his mom's estates over a year by negotiating and selling her items. He then went into deep depression and lost his job because he spent to many away from work helping his family. When I met him a year ago he was deeply depressed, only teaching martial arts for happiness and a little income, renting out a room in his house for extra money.
He is actively looking for work but it's frustrating. The town he lives in is limited in opportunity.
We have doing long distance for 1.5 years. I love 1 he away. I come on weekends to stay with him. I am scheduled to leave the military so we can be together and also so I can have a stable life that I want. I want to do a doctorate in physical therapy and be able to see my husband everyday, not leave for deployments. I would also make more money.
I am scared. He wants to propose but he's having trouble finding work. I am scared it's not going to happen. We are both semi traditional. We believe in the man proposing, being head of a household, etc. I am modern in that I want to work full time. I am not attracted to a man I have to financially support so he sed HAS to have a job.
I am frightened. How do I stay supportive and positive? I am falling apart. I need him to get back on his feet so I can complete my schooling and build a future with him. Any married older women out there?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think he is likely scared you will leave him one of these days if he doesn't find a job. Assure him that you won't dump him and you are confident he will find work eventually.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know how you can be supportive, but I think that if his location is not providing him the jobs that he's looking for, then he either needs to look for different jobs or find an area where what he's looking for exists and move nearby. You can be supportive by not nagging, and by sending anything that might be interesting for him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I read quote once that said " a woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing... a mans loyalty is tested when he has everything everything."

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What Girls Said 2

  • maybe he's not doing enough to find a job. Its an active thing

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  • Give him some time, but if you're not attracted to him because he has no job, then that is shallow of you

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    • 3mo

      *golddigger. Obviously you are in a dream world where you think people can sit on the couch and the bills just pay themselves. You don't work, your ass is on the streets and your house will be foreclosed on. Everybody needs to work. Asking a man to have a job is not shallow. It's called being an adult.

    • 3mo

      I am trying to save thousands of dollars to live off while I go to school. (goal is 20k) I can't do this alone. We are suppose to be a team

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