Girls, what would you do if you found out your fiance wanted to have a different themed wedding from your dream wedding?

Say the guy is actually someone who wants to be very involved in the wedding preparations and he wants a specific wedding but it doesn't line up with the type you wanted? Also what kind of wedding do you want?

Personally if I do get married I'm not settling on anything other than an evening winter wedding Girls, what would you do if you found out your fiance wanted to have a different themed wedding from your dream wedding?

Updates:
2mo So I think I misrepresented what I meant. It doesn't have to be exactly like this I'd just prefer to have an evening wedding in winter. It doesn't have to be "themed"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Any themed wedding for me is a no no... but then I saw "evening winter wedding" above and actually thought that looks really nice. It has to be sophisticated... nothing tacky... and themes, in general, are tacky.

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    • 2mo

      I think I explained it badly. I didn't mean it has to look a specific way. Obviously everyone would wear traditional attire so nothing like those Frozen or Harry Potter themed crap where people are in costumes. I just meant I mostly wanted it to be a wedding that took place probably in the a snowy evening winter. The place we do it at could be traditional. The only thing I'd want is it's just more dimly lit than a bright one. Mostly just for atmosphere.

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    • 2mo

      Not if we wore normal wedding attire

    • 2mo

      Okay fair enough.

What Girls Said 22

  • That's beautiful by the way! Ok so I was one of those little girls who planned their entire wedding from about age 6 to my current age and definitely have a picture in my head for my dream wedding. I love the idea of an involved fiancĂ©! That's so sweet and it shows your dedication. At the same time, if he really hated my dream wedding I'd be very crushed. But I think it's a compromise/duo effort. It's both of your wedding so you both should be involved but I think there are some things that a bride should have the last say in.

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  • I would sit down with him and we would plan out how we want our wedding to be. I don't believe that a wedding is merely the 'brides day'. I think it's a celebration of the couple. Both parties should be represented. There should be elements of both people in the wedding.

    We would do our best to accommodate some of the key items we want in the wedding and go from there.

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  • I think that's so precious you're already planning your wedding. That's the sweetest thing. I would probably combine elements, but, in this case, I'd probably let my fiance decide more because that's so cute. But if you marry someone who wants a summer wedding, you could always do a Christmas in July type thing, with winter elements except for outside, like the last part of Frozen.

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  • Well, there's the actual wedding and there's the reception, so there's options. We could blend themes. He could get the church theme, or the reception. Or I can let him have it but he will have to clean the house for a full year. I don't know. Last thing I would do is make a big deal of this.

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  • Unless I really hated it, it wouldn't be a problem. If it's something that I like too, we can do that. If I don't like it, then we choose something else we both enjoy.

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  • I want a winter wedding too. I think the colors would be white and red. I even want my dress to red. I think the white wedding dress tradition is outdated. I would be paranoid that I would spill something on it. Plus I look good in red. I would advise the couple to compromise and find a happy medium.

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  • First of all, I didn't know guys care about the details of the wedding... To answer your question, I don't really care where/how my wedding is as long as I get to wear a nice lace dress and have the people I love there. Oh, but there should be champagne. Definitely champagne. That's all.

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  • Omg that pic 😍😍

    wellll, I'll let him sit with me to talk about it and try to get to a wedding we both agree on.

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  • you need to start prepping your mate early on for what you want long before the engagement even and hopefully his love will make sure you get what you want when the day finally comes

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  • Not to be sexist, but the groom doesn't usually get a lot of say in a wedding. But if you find a really mellow partner they may concede. I would advise you not to take the theme too seriously, its not the point of a wedding, and no one wants a groom-zilla

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  • Well, I just want a basic wedding, they are cringe enough without some "theme". Like having it on a beach or in a nice hotel hall. Nothing extravagant, classy and simple. It's not usual for a guy to have his "dream wedding" so it's something that they would both have to decide on together I guess. Maybe mix and match?

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  • It's beautiful yet too much. And I'm African. Either you settle with our tradition or you marry someone else

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  • We could make some sort of hybrid. Or just come up with something new together. It's OUR wedding. It should be what we both want.

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  • Avatar the last airbender or Lord of the Rings pick one. Im the one having the children! I ONLY ASK OF THIS FOR 18 YEARS OF PAIN. ಠ_ಠ

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  • You want exactly the same wedding as me XD
    If my boyfriend wanted different I'll try my best to make it accept the wedding I want

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  • Really talk it out with your fiancĂ©, but remember that this day is about the two of you! Your dreams are important, and so are his. I bet the more you two talk about it, you both will come to a conclusion that benefits both of you. New ideas are great ideas. <3 Best of wishes!

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  • If it were possible I'd try to blend the ideas. We'd sit down and write down our ideas, then we'd compare and see how we can combine them to make us both happy.

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  • As long as it's not that blue, I'm very flexible.

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  • I'm not the type of girl to dismiss my partner I hate girls like that so personally I would try to mix a little of both. However if they are total opposites I'd do what he wants in exchange for something else

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  • I don't know how to answer this because I know that being so totally involved in the wedding is ridiculous. It's the marriage that counts not the wedding..

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  • Honestly marriage and weddings seem pretty pointless and a waste of money to me. So if I met a guy who wanted to get married then I'd do it for him but he can have full control of all the planning.

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  • Firstly I think it's super cool if a guy wants to be involved in the wedding! But if you are that specific you might want to bring up the topic early in the dating period to rule out falling in love with a person with COMPLETELY opposing desires!
    For example I think a winter wedding looks MAGICAL… BUT I'm a summer body and I can't tolerate the winter. As in my body can't even! I turn into a hermit and if I have to go out its with 10 layers of genuine wool under my winter parka and after 5 minutes I have to be taken inside or my extremities start getting frost bite… so while I'll be experiencing winter depression and will look like a Pillsbury dough hermit I would not want to be married in that state!
    Spring, summer and fall even will be my times when I'm the happiest because of the sun and just love being out 😂
    So once again bring it up early in a relationship so you don't get stuck with a person like me because it'll be hard to reach even a middle ground here and then you'll end up with a really hurt angry pissed off potential bride or a future ex… and I know I don't do hurt well… when I'm hurt I get MAD…like REALLY MAD… 😇

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    • 2mo

      If you have to bring that up early in the relationship to make sure you marry someone who wants the same wedding theme, there's a problem. Weddings are only a few hours, and the aim of marriage is to stay together for the rest of your lives. That's a non-problem.

    • 2mo

      @mermaidrocketship well that's great if it's a non problem to you but it might be for some as in the case of the asker such that he wouldn't want to budge on his particular desire… if you end up with two parties that feel that way it's not a cool situation to be in.
      I also agree that the aim of marriage is to stay together forever which is why it is important to align your values and specific in advance… kinda the same when people disregard one person who wants to have children whereas the other wants them and 5 years later they are separating because of irreconcilable differences. Also, having this discussion is also a good gateway into whether the two parties even believe in marriage or not… pointless to carry out a relationship only to later on find out your partner doesn't even believe in the institution of marriage. So, problem or "non-problem" early communication is always a good idea if you are planning on finding someone to spend the rest of your life with.

    • 2mo

      Your suggestion of combining elements is hella cool though!

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