Christian parents- moving in when engaged?

I currently live with my parents who are very religious. I want to keep my parents happy and live separatly from my boyfriend out of respect for them. Although I am not actually abstinent, my parents beleive I am a virgin, and I know it would ruin my relationship with my parents if they thought otherwise.

My boyfriend asked me what my parents would think of us moving in together if we were engaged. We both agree that we want lots of time to arrange the wedding so its not so stressful, but it would be great for both of us to move in together when his current lease expires.

I've heard that some christians consider an engagement to be equivalent to marriage and this makes sense to me but I am a bit scared that my parents react badly so Im goping to get some other opinions first. Other alternatives might be: getting legally married and then having an actual ceremony later?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm vehemently against marrying someone before you live with them. There's SO much you learn about a person, and yourself, what needs to happen before you're married. It's FAR more important to keep yourself happy than your parents with their archaic views.

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    • 2mo

      *which needs to happen

    • 2mo

      I agree. I dont want to force my boyfriend to marry me just because it is more convenient to live together. I want him to actually want to be married. Moving in together proves its not just infatuation

    • 2mo

      I'm not sure that's what I was saying...

Most Helpful Girl

  • This wise thing to do is tell your parents the turth. This lie will only groe and get worse. If you and your potential husband is serious then you need to be married first. Your friends are wrong. Cohabitation is NOT a marriage. And if you two do that now, you might as well not bother with marriage. Your increasing your risk for divorce early. Don't play games. Because if your not a Christian and I'm telling you this as another Christian it is wrong.

    You dont want to be in serious trouble with God. He says to honor your parents in all things. You can't say you want to respect them but your lying to them. If you end up living him yoir bound fall into sexuak sin again. And then he is not going to want to be married to you, because your already giving him what you could have given to him as a wife. Men aren't going to benefit from marriage of what you already give them. But then again I dont know what kind of Christain you or your parents are. Or what your personal beliefs is. But I will say that you do have carnal minded friends who will get you into trouble.

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    • 2mo

      Sorry I had so many typo mistakes.

      Either way I cannot tell you what to do. At the end of the day it is your life. And you will have to reap what you sowed. Be serious, because marriage is a very big and seeious step. If your parents still agrees after this you two better prove that you two are worthy of marriage with each other before God. He has to order your steps. You cannot do that by yourselves.

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    • 2mo

      here is what your not getting*

    • 2mo

      As Christians we still need to abide by the laws of this world as long as it doesn't infringes our rights to practice our beliefs wither religiously, or our relationship with God.

What Guys Said 1

  • hun you and your boyfriend are married already

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    • 2mo

      How so? That doesn't help the issue of us not being able to move in together

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    • 2mo

      Yeah that makes sense to me. Its about making a commitment. Waiting till we have lots of money to throw a big party just seems shallow. I always figured a wedding was a celebration of a marriage, its not the actual marriage

    • 2mo

      read the bible no where does it say any of those things of a 20,000 dollar ceremony
      its a commitment to each other
      thats it
      now go enjoy your man

What Girls Said 2

  • I would just move in together because you learn a lot more about someone living so it's good practice to make 120% sure you guys are a good match. It's great that you want to respect their beliefs and your boyfriend does the same.

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  • I think that Christians are mean and uptight. Just live your life the way you want it

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